If Something Were To Happen
by MoonRider-13
Summary: Same Title, Slightly Re-Written Story! Kagome finds Inuyasha with Kikyou. Finally realizing her place she runs off on her own. What happens after a fight when a little girl wants to know whats wrong? Does she learn to see Sesshoumaru in a new light
1. Memories from the Past, Consequences to

**So a lot of the people who had been reading this story is going to be really mad with me because…well…I have been re-writing it. Yea I know that you were on chapter ten but I was reading through it and decided it needed an upgrade. So You might want to start back at chapter one…well, ok, chapter two is really when it starts changing….a LOT! **

**Disclaimer:** 'sigh' no I don't own Inuyasha . . . wish I did, but I don't.

**Chapter One:**

**Memories from the Past, Consequences to Come**

'**What's up with Inuyasha?'**

~ In Keada's village ~

In Keada's hut we find Sango, Miroku, Shippou, and a very annoyed Inuyasha.

"Where the hell is Kagome."

"Be patient Inuyasha, she said she would be back before sundown" said Shippou with his mouth full of candy.

"Who asked you brat"

"Don't call me that, I'm telling"

"Oi, brat, no you don't." Sango sighed and sat up straight.

"Inuyasha don't start, you know how it will end."

"Yea, well, it's worth it" Inuyasha said getting up, rushing at Shippou.

"Ahhhhh" Shippou screamed before he ran out the door, followed by Inuyasha.

"Get back here"

"No, help me." Sango sat back against the wall of the hut and blew air up into her bangs to get them out of her eyes. She looked toward the unconscious Monk beside her.

_Serves him right _

She thought as she looked back out the hut at the fighting pair.

_It's____been 5 years since Kagome came through the well. I would have thought that it would have taken longer to find all the shards of the shikon, but they were coming to the end of their journey. Naraku had already been defeated but there were still shards out there that needed to be collected. Kagome still carries the nearly completed jewel around her neck, she had tried to tell Inuyasha that as soon as it was completed that she would hand it over to him but some where along the way he had changed his mind about wishing to be a full Demon. We all decided that we would let Kagome wish what she will on the jewel when ever the time came. I have to be honest that we are all scared that when the wish is made that the well might close. Not only close but we fear that it will drag Kagome back with it. We would all be heart broken, most of all Shippou. During the time he's spent with Kagome he has come to think of her as his mother figure. I have also come to think of her as a sister, even Miroku thinks of her as a sister now and plus Inuyasha would rip him apart if he touched her. To bad for me I'm still open. _

Sango let out a deep sigh as she thought about everything that happened in the past week.

_Naraku had been powerful but in the end we won. Miroku's wind tunnel disappeared along with Naraku. I can remember him sitting around just staring at his hand, he couldn't believe it was over. Of course he went back to his perverted self all too soon for my liking. _

Sango gave a soft smile at the thought. Kirara came in from outside apparently she had had enough of the two fighting, as she came over and sat in Sango's lap. "Meow?"

"I know girl they just don't learn, do they?" "Meow." She turned her head back up to the pair, not really seeing them.

_We all came out of the fight with a gain and a loss or at least some of us did. _

A tear came to her eye. "Meow?"

"It's ok, just remembering." Kirara eyed her for a second then snuggled her head back underneath her tail. Sango set her hand softly on Kirara's back, as her eyes became glazed over.

_Inuyasha, by defeating Naraku made his sword stronger. Kagome is now known as a great miko and the village respects her, even though she doesn't wear the formal miko's outfit. Miroku's wind tunnel was destroyed and for me, my brother is at peace but . . . I will miss him so much. He was my only family, now what do I have. I . . . have my friends, which over the time spent together has became my family. So, I'm not totally lost. _

She was brought back to reality by a movement to her right. As she saw Miroku start to sit up she wiped the tear away.

"My Sango, why do you fight me"

"Perverted Monk!"

"Now dear Sango you know I'm only showing affection"

" I'm watching you Houshi" She said as she looked forward again.

" It's been a week since we defeated Naraku but do you get the feeling we're missing something. I mean, all seems normal but it's just strange… you know? Not always running off to fight, the only action we get now is watching them two." Miroku said nodding his head toward Inuyasha and Shippou still running around outside. Sango shifted her gaze to look at him.

"Yea, I know what you mean."

( It's strange the way he can go from being a pervert to wise in a moment, don't you think)

"It feels odd not doing anything, so I guess I understand what you're getting at" Sango said facing the doorway once again. "It's like I don't know what to do with myself."

"Sango, I…" Before he could finish Shippou came running in, Inuyasha not far behind. "Aahh" Shippou screamed jumping up on Miroku's shoulder. Inuyasha came in the hut looking to both sides until his gaze landed on Miroku. Shippou sank down behind his shoulder hiding, keeping only his eyes visible. When Inuyasha spotted him he jumped in front of Miroku.

"Ok brat, come out here!" Inuyasha said while flexing his claws. Shippou started to shake as he watched Inuyasha.

"N…no!"

"Inuyasha, just leave him be."

"Sango stay out of this." Shippou ran for the door, jumping over Inuyasha's head. Inuyasha turned on his heel running for the door. Sango and Miroku were both surprised to see him stop abruptly and take a step back.

"Oh shit" Inuyasha said turning to run back into the hut.

"SIT BOY!"

Before he could turn around he went crashing to the floor.

"Shiiiit!" Dust went flying everywhere. Miroku and Sango turned to each other wide eyed. Kirara got up out of Sango's lap and walked right over Inuyasha like he wasn't there. Sango stood up with her hand over her mouth trying to hide her giggles but Miroku stood and started out right laughing which made Sango laugh. They both stepped over Inuyasha out onto the evening grass. Inuyasha lifted his head spitting out dirt and grass. "Stupid wench, what didya do that for?" Instantly he stood up and glared at her as Kagome came down the path, her cheeks heated with anger.

"Why do you think you baka. I leave for one day and I still come back and see you chasing poor Shippou. Inuyasha, what do I have to do? Huh?" Inuyasha mumbled something under his breath but no one heard. Inuyasha flopped down on the outer wall of the hut and crossed his arms into his sleeves, turning his head to the side.

"Feh"

"Aw, Inuyasha at least she only sat you once." said Miroku patting Inuyasha on the shoulder. Inuyasha brushed his hand away as he stood up to go back into the hut. "Inuyasha don't be so ornery, you know you shouldn't chase Shippou." Kagome said a few feet behind him. Inuyasha stopped and turned about to say something when a familiar smell crossed his nose. Kagome noticed when he lifted his head to sniff the air. "Inuyasha, what is it?"

"Nothing, stay here." He ran past her as he said this.

"Inuyasha!" Kagome shouted at Inuyasha's back.

"Stay" He shouted back as he disappeared into the forest. Kagome turned around and headed for the hut once again.

"And I thought he was the dog, telling me to stay." She said as she set her yellow pack down along with Shippou. "Shippou, I will be back soon, ok?"

"Ok." Shippou instantly went digging in the bag for his candy she had promised him. As she walked out the hut Sango and Miroku were standing there staring at her.

"Kagome you aren't going after him are you?" Kagome got even with her before answering.

"I'll be fine Sango, I have been here for three years." She paused for a second. "I know how to handle Inuyasha." Kagome said giving Sango a wink. Sango smiled and waved her off. Kagome walked off in the direction Inuyasha had went. After she disappeared Miroku turned to Sango. You think he ran off to see you know who again. Sango's smile instantly turned into a frown. I have no doubt that he did. She dropped her head then turned it back up toward the sky as the last rays of the sun started to disappear.

"Why didn't you tell her."

"Its better she find out the hard way," she paused and looked at Miroku with sad eyes. "Cause, would you want to tell her that the one that she's been in love with for years is sneaking off to be with his undead girlfriend." Miroku frowned and thought for a sec and saw an angered Kagome.

"No, I would not. What do you think she will do?" Miroku asked looking back to Sango. "I don't know." Kirara came up and rubbed against her leg. "Meow." Sango looked down and let out a sigh. "She might run back to the well or even just run off." Sango said bending down to pick up Kirara. Holding Kirara in the crook of her arm, she looked back up at Miroku. "I can't be sure what she will do, but I do know that she will come back. She wont leave us, not without saying goodbye. I know that for sure." Sango turned slowly to go back to the hut. Miroku following silently behind. Right before she stepped through the huts entrance Miroku grabbed her arm.

"Sango? She will be back, don't worry."

"I don't worry about Kagome, she knows her way. I fear that something may happen. I can't explain it, its just a feeling I have. Weird huh?" Sango said letting her head fall. "Sango, I…"

"HEY, WHERE'S THE CANDY" Shippou screamed from inside the hut. Sango looked up and walked in shaking her head. Miroku followed with a pout.

_Why me, why me? _

He thought walking in after Sango.


	2. Making A Decision

**Disclaimer:** Once again, I don't own Inuyasha

**Recap: **Kagome ran off after Inuyasha into the forest . . . . . ."What do you think she will do?" Miroku asked. "I don't know she may run back to the well or even just run off." . . . . . ."She will come back!" . . . . . . HEY, WHERE'S THE CANDY"

**Chapter 2: **

**Making a Decision **

~ In Inuyasha's forest ~

"I can't believe him!" Kagome almost yelled to herself but thought better of it as she walked down the path. The first couple of minutes she had spent trying to calm down her nerves. She had known that she couldn't leave them two alone.

"I should have known better." She said as she unclenched her fist and blew out a long calming breath. She had stopped looking for Inuyasha about an hour ago. She had mostly went after him, actually hoping to go in the opposite direction. Kagome stopped to look at the sky.

"It's a beautiful evening. The colors make it look like something in a dream." She thought looking back up the road. She could vaguely make out a split in the path, but kept walking telling herself that she would deal once she got there. Kagome thought back to all the times Inuyasha and Shippou had fought in the past. Shippou had always came running to her if she was there saying he was being picked on. Kagome gave a soft laugh at the time Shippou had gotten the better of Inuyasha when he had tricked him into getting the last pack of ramen.

_~ Flashback ~ _

_Hey squirt, look what I got." Inuyasha said holding up the last pack of ramen, as he sat cross legged on the ground. _

"_Inuyasha don't start something, you know you have to share." Kagome said standing on her knees to lean over the boiling pot. _

"_Feh, who said I was going to share." He said with his 'I don't have to' voice. Turning to look at him she shook her head. _

"_Inuyasha" she said as a sigh. _

"_Hey Inuyasha is that a spider there beside you?" Shippou shouted as he pointed to the right of Inuyasha. Inuyasha jumped up so fast that he dropped the pack of ramen. "Where, Where are they?" He screamed as he spun around trying to find the monstrous bugs. Shippou walked right up between Inuyasha's legs and grabbed the forgotten bag that laid in the grass. Shippou walked back to his spot and handed the bag to Kagome who was busy trying to hide her laughter at Inuyasha's expense. After that Inuyasha had pouted the rest of the night._

_~ End flashback ~_

Kagome stopped to look at the path. She had come to the split in the path without realizing it.

_Should I go toward the pond or the well? _

Kagome thought for second then decided to head for the pond. As she walked she looked at the trees around her. She always appreciated the quiet whenever she and Inuyasha would get into a fight, the trees always seemed to understand when she was down, but now it was a little too quiet for her liking. She was starting to get a little creeped out. She had long sense stopped being scared. She figured that anything out there couldn't be any worse than what she had already dealt with. She always took her bow and arrows with her even though her miko powers had gotten much stronger and to where she could control them. She just felt safer with them with her. Bow slung over her shoulder and her arrows strapped onto her back, that's how she always had them. Can never be to protected. She didn't want to have to count on anyone.

As she came to the clearing she could smell the fresh water before she even saw it. When she came up to a large tree she was going to go on past it to sit and enjoy the full moon that had started to appear, but seeing a flash of red stopped her. She peeked from around the tree to see what was going on. What she saw disturbed her, and made her more than a little angry at herself. There in front of her was Inuyasha and Kikyou. At first they looked as if they were talking, but then they kissed, his hands roaming over her body. When they started stripping each other she pushed herself up against the other side of the tree, her breathing quick. She could feel her heart breaking, each time it broke more and more. She couldn't stand it any more. Normally she would have just went beck home or back to the hut and let it pass. Usually she would cry but never run away for good, but all the other times finally added up in her head and it all just came crashing down. So, she ran. Ran from the things that would soon enough break her heart to a point where it was no longer repairable.

_What was I thinking coming out here? _

She thought as she ran through the trees, tears in her eyes. She was oblivious to the tree limbs scratching her arms and legs. She felt nothing when she hit the ground from tripping over a tree root, a rock cutting into her leg. She didn't care if he followed her. She didn't care that she was leaving all her stuff behind. She just didn't care anymore about what happened. She pushed herself up and continued running but her eyes grew blurry and she tripped more times than she could count. When she finally stopped she had made it to the clearing that held the well but it wasn't right. She didn't want to go there, its not what she needed. She paused at the well and stared down into its darkness. She took a step toward it but stopped herself.

_No, I can't go back, not until the last few shards have been found. I can do this on my own. Its been 5 years and I have grown stronger since then. I can do this._

With new determination pushing her forward she strapped her bow and arrows tightly to her back and walked. She remembered there being a village a few miles to the west.


	3. A New Start

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Inuyasha, stop asking.

**Recap: **Caught in the act, fed up with lies and pain…"No, I can't go back"…."I can do this"

**Chapter 3: **

**A New Start**

By the time she made it to the outskirts of the village her legs hurt and her feet throbbed. The villagers watched her cautiously as she slowly made her way through the small homes and shops. She really didn't know what she was looking for. She had become good at feeling her way through situations with her aura and she trusted this to be no different. A shop with multiple colorful kimonos caught her eye and the woman smiled warily at her.

"You look like you could use a good rest."

Kagome looked up at the middle aged lady but her eyes were lifeless. "I have no money to pay you with." She said solemnly. The woman took a good look at her then. Taking in her torn clothing and dirt smudged skin. The woman sighed.

"Would you be willing to work for supplies?"

"Yes ma'am." Kagome replied. The woman glanced around before pulling her into the door and taking her into the back that turned into a cozy little home. She sit Kagome on a cushion and left before coming back with some hot water and a cloth.

"You are a mess child." The woman said as she gently started washing away some of the dirt from her face. Kagome reached up and took the cloth from her.

"Its alright, I'll get it. You have a shop to run after all. Just tell me what you would like done and I'll get right on it." She said giving her a light smile. "Ok dear…"She eyed Kagome as she took on the task of rinsing the dirt from her arms and legs. "Just get cleaned up first, then we will see." Kagome nodded but didn't look back up at her.

Once she had cleaned most of her cuts off the woman, who she found to be named Mira, pointed her in the direction of a hot spring and gave her a light yellow kimono with orange flowers floating from her shoulder to the bottom. She knew that Mira felt sorry for her. Asking her to do simple tasks like sweep and bring her something to drink or bring out more kimonos for the shop. As it became later, she retrieved wood for her fire and watched as Mira rummaged around gathering ingredients to cook. They didn't speak much, but she got the impression that she was lonely. Kagome could understand loneliness. Kagome looked down at the long flowing sleeves of the kimono and wondered how hard it would be to alter the design.

"Mira?" At her words she turned around to look at her. She supposed it startled the lady since she hadn't said more than a few words the whole day.

"Yes dear?"

"Would it be possible for me to borrow your supplies and create my own outfit?"

She nodded and turned to bring a pot to the fire.

"Yes, I'll give you your choice of one kimono and you can alter it any way you like."

It was two days later when Kagome had created what she thought would be the best for traveling. As a miko she would be able to protect herself, as a human she would look like any other warrior. For the first time in five years she would fit in.

"Kagome?" Mira asked entering the room. She dropped the kimonos from her arm when she saw Kagome. She had taken a black and light blue kimono and divided it up so that she had on Black leggings that ended three inches above her knee. The Light blue top was sleeveless and hugged tight to her torso and fell a few feet over her front and back with slits up to her hips on the sides. With the money that Mira had given her over the last few days she had bought a pair of boots that ended mid calf. When Mira saw her, Kagome was leaned over lacing them up. The daggers she had bribed a villager into selling her were strapped to her thighs with makeshift leather straps she had created herself. Kagome straightened and pulled her bow and arrows over her shoulder along with a small pack that Mira had been setting aside for her.

"This means you'll be leaving." Kagome saddened at her tone. She liked the woman, she had paid her more than her fair share for what little she had done in two days.

"I must." Kagome said with a smile. "You have been more than kind to me Mira, but I can't stay." She brushed past her to leave and the woman turned to follow her out.

"Your always welcome her Kagome." She tilted her head in thanks before she followed her inner compass. As she reached the trees on the outskirts of the village she glanced back knowing that she would never be back. She would find the shards and set things back to the way they once were. From there she would figure out what to do. Glancing down at the daggers settled at her thighs she wondered if they would be any use to her. She didn't know how to use them yet, but she figured she would have the time to learn. Though one thing she did know, was that everything was going to change.


	4. Refusing Weakness

**Disclaimer:** Nope, don't own Inuyasha.

**Recap: **Mira walked in as she laced her boots. "This means you'll be leaving."…"I must."….She would never go back….Everything was going to change.

**Chapter 4: **

**Refusing Weakness**

A week passed since she left Mira's village as she made her way from village to village asking about any monsters that might have been seen. She no longer got the wary looks since she had donned somewhat normal clothes. They thought her a slayer and she let them think it. She had gathered two more shards on her own and was impressed with herself. She didn't know she had it in her but then again Inuyasha never really let her do her best. She never got the chance to improve with him. Looking at the jewel around her neck she figured there were only four or so left. She had started to miss her friends over the last few days, it was too quiet alone in the forests. But she was learning. A sound rustled to her right and she slowed her pace but kept walking. She realized from time to time demons would come to her. All she had to do was allow them the opportunity.

"Miko. So nice of you to come just in time for supper." Kagome stopped in her tracks.

"Is it?" She asked. The demon was taken aback when she turned with a smile on her face. "And here I forgot the dessert."

The dragon youkai roared in frustration and rushed at her. She dodged as he sent a fireball her way. She tossed the pack off to the side near a tree pulled her bow from her back and notched an arrow. Setting it lose she realized in horror as the arrow bounced off his scaled hide that they were useless. She shuffled out of the way as another fireball flew from his mouth and she landed in a crouch. How she wished she had practiced more with the daggers. Though she doubted even the daggers would pierce his thick skin.

"Shit!" She cursed under her breath.

"I think a human roast is in order." The youkai laughed. Pulling a dagger from its sheath she tightened her grip around it as she stood. The dragon eyed her with amusement, its red eyes following her movements. She leveled a stare at it and out of no where it tail came around and struck her leg forcing her to the ground. She ground her teeth and forced herself back up and moved around him. Its snake like tongue hissed through its scaly lips. She could see the delight in its eyes as blood poured from the wound on her leg.

"Why don't you use those powers Miko. You might stand a chance."

"I don't need my powers for you." She sneered.

Gathering herself she ran forward and jabbed the dagger into it eye. He roared in pain as his tail knocked her out of the way into a tree. The spikes along its tail piercing her arms and left shoulder. She was glad that they weren't longer or her shoulder would never be of use again. The dragon thrashed around with only one eye leaving her to slump against the tree. When he turned her dagger was still buried deep in its eye. Letting her left arm fall at her side she pushed herself up and stumbled slightly as his only eye landed on her.

"You'll have to do better than that." His voice roared over her, taunting her. Reminding her that she was still weak and hadn't grown that much since she first fell down the well. She thought new clothes and attitude would change her, but in the end she would die just shards away from going home. At the thought of home her eyes widened.

_No_

She thought as she forced herself to move. She would not let this dumb creature keep her from going back home. She had a purpose, she had a reason to go on. She would not let this monster kill her in this place. She ran forward with the intent of taking back her dagger when his tail came at her. She managed to turn out of the way as she felt it barely miss her cheek leaving only a scratch. Her body slammed down onto its back as she yanked the dagger out as she slid down its scales. His wings expanded as he roared out. His wings flapped hard and she could feel the air lifting them. She scrambled back up to its head.

"I didn't pay for a ride and I'm not getting one!" She yelled as she brought her dagger back down onto his other eye. With all her strength she pushed it down again between his eyes. His body squirmed underneath her as she held the dagger in place with both hands. Its tail whipped around puncturing her in the back of her left shoulder. She screamed as pain laced through her already wounded shoulder. She was pushed forward over its head. She turned and he was rushing blindly at her. Kicking her heals into the dirt to push her back she raised her right hand as a blue glow formed around her fingers and palm.

"I'm sorry." She whispered as the glow engulfed them both. When it had cleared the dragons ashes were spread out before her. Her head felt woozy but she couldn't lay down now. Clenching her teeth she pushed herself up to retrieve her bag and dagger. Once she had the dagger sheathed she saw a shard of the jewel buried in the ashes.

"At least something good came of you." She mumbled into the once again quiet forest.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"Mi'lord there's your brothers wench." Jaken said with disgust.

"Don't speak of my brother" Sesshoumaru spoke in his normal ice smooth voice.

"Y Yes M Mi'lord" Said Jaken nervously as he did a half bow.

"Lord Sesshoumaru-sama, the pretty lady looks sad. Can Rin go see what's wrong?" Rin said while tugging on Sesshoumaru's long sleeves.

"No" Sesshoumaru said without even stopping to turn around to look at the girl.

"Lord Sesshoumaru" She said in a sad tone as she stopped on the path, making Jaken bump into her. Sesshoumaru turned around and looked at her. She was making her face, the one where she pocked her bottom lip out and made her eyes wider. "Please?" She said as she looked up at him.

"Rin" Sesshoumaru said exasperated, glaring at her.

"Rin just want to see what wrong with pretty lady." Rin said already running toward Kagome. Sesshoumaru watched her run off.

"Mi'lord, your just going to let her go." Sesshoumaru said nothing as he kicked Jaken miles into the sky. He stood at the edge of the trees not showing himself. He could smell the blood on her. She had been injured recently. He could also tell that the clothes she wore were torn. Though he wouldn't have recognized her if it weren't for her scent. She had donned more traditional warrior garments but they had been torn and bloodstained from a battle. He had never seen his brothers wench in such a state.

_Why should I care? _

He asked himself as he turned his head, not looking at them.

_Because Rin cares. _

Sesshoumaru thought turning back to the two. "Hmm, Rin." he said sourly.

Rin slowly walked up to Kagome, not wanting to startle her. When she was right beside her, she put her hand on Kagome's shoulder. Kagome jumped when she felt a hand grab her from behind. When she looked up she saw a young girl smiling down at her. Kagome got the feeling that she knew the girl from somewhere but couldn't quit place her. Rin took her hand away and looked down at her with caring eyes that held innocence and childishness at the same time.

"Why is the pretty lady sad?" Rin asked. Kagome turned to face the girl and moved to her feet. Her legs almost gave at the sudden movement.

"What are you doing out here?" Kagome asked looking around for any signs of anyone. When she saw no one she turned back to the girl.

"I'm here with my Lord."

"Your Lord?" Kagome was slightly confused as she looked down at the girl.

"Yes pretty lady, my Lord." There was a pause as Kagome let herself slump back down against the tree.

"May I ask pretty ladies name?" Kagome smiled as she saw the child's curiosity take over.

"If you tell me your name first."

"Ok, Rin's name is Rin." She said with a big smile. Kagome let a little laugh pass her lips at the child's speech.

"I'm Kagome."

"Rin thinks Kagome is pretty."

"Thank you Rin, your very pretty your self." Kagome smiled as Rin looked past her shoulder to stare behind her.

"Lord Sesshoumaru-sama!" Rin said as she smiled a cheery smile that went from ear to ear. Kagome stilled at the name, refusing to turn around. Her hand clenched at her side.

"S…Sesshoumaru?" Kagome whispered. When she finally got up the courage to turn around she looked up into golden eyes. He held no emotion what so ever on his face.

"Lord Sesshoumaru-sama!" Rin yelled again as she ran up to him throwing her arms around his leg. Kagome was surprised at the affection the girl showed toward him. Sesshoumaru glanced down at her then back up into nervous brown eyes. As he glared at her she stood on shaky legs and started to back off. She didn't have enough energy to fight him as well. She had used most of her energy to vaporize that dragon youkaai and she could still feel the blood seeping from her wounds. Rin noticed her backing away and ran to her, wrapping her arms around Kagome's leg. As Rin grabbed her leg Kagome's mouth turned to a frown as she hissed at the pressure put on her already damaged legs. Rin didn't notice, but it didn't go unnoticed by a watching Sesshoumaru.

"Don't go Kagome, stay and play with Rin." Rin said letting go of Kagome's legs. As the pain faded a little at a time, Kagome looked down at the girl with a soft smile. When she looked back up golden eyes found deep brown, but this time she saw amusement in them. "I'm glad you find something so amusing." She shouted with a frown. Kagome threw her hand up to her mouth and took another step back when she realized what she said and to who.

"I didn't mean that." She said her voice fearful.

"Kagome-san?" Kagome looked down to show she was listening.

"Come with Rin Kagome-san?"

"Rin, I don't…"

"Please?" Rin gives Kagome the look. Kagome's eyes soften and her voice weak.

"Rin, I don't think it would be a good idea to…"

"Please pretty lady Kagome, I'm sure Fluffy won't mind." Kagome giggled at the nick name but stopped when Sesshoumaru stepped up beside her. Her back grew straight and stiff at him being so near. He alone was stronger than Naraku. Kagome hadn't even seen him move. Kagome didn't look at him out of fear of drawing too much of his attention. The last thing she needed was Inuyasha's brother on her case.

"Rin." His voice rang out above Kagome's head and she flinched. He looked to her when he saw but said nothing as he shifted his gaze back to Rin.

"Yes Lord Sesshoumaru?"

"Come." Was all he said as he headed straight past her into the trees.

"No" Rin said with a pout. Sesshoumaru stopped and turned slightly to glare at her.

"Rin" He said getting annoyed.

"No, Lord Sesshoumaru-sama, please?" Rin said once again wrapping her arms around Kagome's legs, making Kagome once again hiss at the pain.

"Rin" He sighed to himself. Sesshoumaru looked back at Kagome's face and saw the pain on it. "Rin, let her go." Was his command as he glared at her.

"Can Kagome-san come?" Rin asked with determination. He scowled but nodded his head at the girl. At the nod Rin let Kagome go. When the pain subsided Kagome looked down at the girl.

"Rin, I have to…" Rin looked up at her sadly.

"Please pretty lady Kagome. Kagome and Rin will have lots of fun." Kagome looked up at Sesshoumaru, her eyes asking permission but he had already walked off. Kagome sighed looking at the young girl. Rin looked on the brink of tears. Kagome let a deep sigh pass her lips. Rin didn't wait for her to say anything as she smiled and took Kagome's hand, pulling her up beside Sesshoumaru. When Rin was satisfied that Kagome would follow she ran ahead picking flowers allowing Kagome to lift her free hand to her aching shoulder. Kagome fell into step with Sesshoumaru every once and a while she would stumble or pause in her walking because of the pain in her leg. When she would she could feel Sesshoumaru's eyes on her as if trying to figure her out.

"Why do you torture yourself human."

"I don't know what you mean." She could feel him looking at her like she was crazy. She must have looked terrible. Even though the wound on her leg was still bleeding she refused to look weak in front of Sesshoumaru, she refused to stop because of the pain.

"You realize your wounds will kill you if you continue."

"One less human for you to worry about right." When he didn't reply she pushed the palm of her hand into her shoulder. The pain only reminding her that she shouldn't be moving at all. She didn't even know why she was with them, why she was following them. She should have been trying to find a way to heal her wounds. Looking up at Sesshoumaru, everything in her being told her to run away. She wasn't completely sure she could trust him, but something about Rin made her want to stay, made her want to believe that she had him all wrong. He showed a side of himself to the girl she hadn't seen when fighting.

_Does he care for the girl? How did she come to be with the cold Lord of the West? Maybe I had him pictured wrongly, he hasn't ever tried to hurt me. Only when Inuyasha… _

Her thoughts ended there. When she thought of Inuyasha her chest hurt with the pain of seeing him with Kikyou. She hadn't thought of that moment since she left a little over a week before but without her say she started to sob silently. She was about to rub them away when she bumped into something hard and suspiciously warm in the chilly afternoon air. She opened her eyes and saw white.

_Oh god please no…_

She slowly looked up and of course she had ran into Sesshoumaru. He had stopped when he smelled her tears. When she bumped into him and went still he expected her to step back with fear for her life. He was surprised when she pulled away with only slight worry, but he smelled no fear on her. Sesshoumaru turned to see her and raised an eyebrow at the blush on her cheeks. Kagome knew he was staring at her, she could feel his gaze, almost like he could see through her. She imagined that she looked weak and pathetic with the tear streaks still visible on her face and the blood covering her clothes.

"Human" She flinched at the tone but didn't move, not even to lift her head. "Look at this Sesshoumaru when spoken to." Sesshoumaru said staring down at her with his cold expressionless mask. She slowly lifted her head but couldn't bring herself to look him in the eye. "Why do you cry?" She looked up in shock.

_Did he just ask what I think he asked, I must have heard wrong. _

"What?"

"This Sesshoumaru does not repeat himself." He said as he started walking. Kagome hesitantly stepped up beside him, keeping her gaze ahead she tried to keep up. "Human" He said when she didn't answer.

"I…It's nothing" she said numbly.

"Nothing?" He asked looking at her out of the corner of his eye. She knew he was looking at her wounds and wondering how nothing did that. She turned her head to watch Rin run through the flowers, once and a while stopping to snatch some from the ground.

"It's something you wouldn't care about, nor understand." She stated, some of her nervousness fading as she watched the small girl.

"There's nothing this Sesshoumaru, couldn't understand." He said his voice taking on a slightly proud tone.

_Man, he's so full of himself. Reminds me of…no, I refuse to let it get the best of me._

As the tears started to form again she pushed them back.

"Why do you care so much anyway?" She said not meaning to sound as angry as she did. She shut her mouth instantly at her words. Sesshoumaru glared at her, not getting the effect he wanted because she was watching Rin with unseeing eyes. He frowned.

_Why do I care so much? _

He thought mentally cursing himself. Then her tone registered in his mind.

_The wench, how dare she take that tone with this Sesshoumaru._

He growled deep in his throat.

Kagome looked up at the growl and was suddenly pulled up by her neck, his claws not quite pricking the skin.

"Do not talk to this Sesshoumaru-sama in that tone, human. Now tell me why you are not with my half breed brother." Sesshoumaru commanded tightening his grip, piercing the soft skin on her neck. Kagome's right hand came up and wrapped around his wrists tightly, if he were human he would have had bruises forming within minutes.

"Its none of your business and I have a name." Kagome shouted as loudly as she could with the force that was put on her wind pipe. She could feel the blood trickling down her neck to her collar bone. He bared his fangs at her, causing her to whimper when he brought his head down to her ear.

"If you want to live you will have more respect." He whispered into her ear then threw her to the ground. Making some of the cuts that had started to close to reopen and the others to sting as the dirt flew into them. She hissed with the pain but all the while glared up at him. The glare didn't have the full affect for she couldn't control the tears that fell from her angry eyes.

_How dare he, HOW DARE HE. Why does he even care why I left, its none of his damn business_. _Ohh just wait till I'm feeling better, then I'll…_

_What are you doing, you can't fight him and think too win._

_I can sure as hell try. What am I doing arguing with myself?_

"Human!" With that she was brought out of her thoughts.

Sesshoumaru had been talking to her when he realized she wasn't listening. After yelling names at her he was starting to get angrier than he already was.

"Human!" He said one last time before he was ready to ring her neck, again. She looked up at that and frowned. Sesshoumaru just glared at her, this time she got the full effect but refused to looked away.

_The wench, she doesn't seem to know who she's dealing with. She's not even scared. Even now she only seems to be angry and pouting, and she's walking around like the multiple wounds aren't there except for the occasional trip, stumble, and hiss when she fumbles._

_Why was she crying before? How dare she say this Sesshoumaru would not understand._

_Have you ever thought that you might NOT understand?_

He was pulled from his thoughts with a whimper. He looked down to see Kagome holding her neck. Her eyes were squeezed tight, panting from lack of air. Then it was like she was holding her breath as her eyes opened wide.

The aura was strong, not so much as before, but it was there. She slowly turned her head to the left of herself as if waiting for something, she looked almost like she could see through the trees. Then he smelled it.

_The Wolf._

"Rin" He said calmly. At her name Rin looked up holding a wad of flowers in her hand.

"Hai Sesshoumaru-sama?" She asked innocently.

"Hide" Came the one worded command. Rin, understandingly, went to the nearest thing large enough to hide her and squatted down. The item? A huge bolder. He looked at Kagome, who was still on the ground hands on her neck staring in the same direction. "You too." The angry tone not lessening any for her. Kagome finally looked up at him and continued to rub her neck.

"Why should I hide…I know who it is." She said softly then turned her head in the direction the demon aura was coming from. "Its Kouga"


	5. Rage Is A Powerful Thing

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters of Inuyasha, but It doesn't mean that I cant write about them.

**Recap: **"Rin!" . . . "Hide" Sesshoumaru turned to Kagome. "You too" . . ."Its Kouga."

**Chapter 5: **

**Rage is a Powerful Thing**

Sesshoumaru didn't have time to even fake surprised at how she knew that. Not like he would show it anyway. Because in the next instant there was a whirlwind of dust that ended right in front of Kagome.

Kagome had squeezed her eyes shut to keep the dust out so when she opened them she was looking into blue eyes. She almost jumped back with surprise.

"Kouga, I…" Before she could get her sentence out Kouga was trying to help her up. Kouga smiled at her then frowned as he looked at her.

"What has that mangy mutt did to you this time." He said with distaste. "And what happened to your outfit?" Kagome let his hands go as he kneeled in front of her. He was starting to look over her legs for more bruises when Kagome flinched when he touched the wound in her leg..

"Kouga,…stop. I'm happy to see you, but its not the time." Kouga stopped and looked up at her.

"Kagome, you are my woman, its my job to take care of you." Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow at that as he watched on in silence. Kagome just sighed as she looked into his worried eyes.

"I'm sorry I worry you Kouga, but really I'm fine." Kouga gave her a look that said he didn't believe her.

"Then how did you get like this?"

"I was…" She paused trying to figure out how much to tell him. "I've been fighting with fire." She said looking down at herself. Not a complete lie.

"How about your neck?" She stilled but didn't look up at him. Sesshoumaru watched her, knowing she would tell the Wolf Lord what he had done. What she didn't know was that he was feared by all the Lords. Even this overly proud wolf couldn't beat him. She gave a nervous laugh as she waved the question off.

"You know me, I'm so clumsy." Sesshoumaru stared at her with surprise, but of course he didn't show it.

_Why didn't she say anything. Stupid woman. She's trying to protect him. _

Kouga raised an eyebrow at her.

"I promise, I'm fine. Please just go."

"I won't leave you like this, it would be unlordly." She knew he was a lord but didn't think he took it seriously.

Kagome went to her last resort and looked up at Sesshoumaru for some kind of help. He raised his eyebrow at her. She could see the amusement play across his gold eyes..

_I'll have to do it my way then._

_Has he even noticed Sesshoumaru. _

"Kouga, I'm not…"

"Where is the mutt anyway." Kouga said lifting his head to sniff the air.

"Kouga, I'm not your…"

"I'll kill him for leaving you to get hurt." He said, not listening to her. Kagome gave his head an irritated look since he wasn't looking at her.

_Even Sesshoumaru is better than this. He listens to me, even if I do almost get my head cut off. _

She thought angrily. Kouga was still going on about how he was going to kill Inuyasha.

"KOUGA!" Kagome yelled in his ear. He flinched and slowly turned to look at her. "Hai?" He said sweetly.

"I ran away from Inuyasha, he's not with me anymore." She said. She sighed in frustration as a smile broke out across his face. She pushed him back with her good hand. "I'm not your woman Kouga. I'm sorry, but I'm not what you need. I only have three shards left, and soon I will need yours." She said glancing down at his legs. He growled and took a step back.

"You can't." She saddened. She knew that his speed meant a lot to him but it had to be done sooner or later.

"I'm sorry Kouga." He gripped her shoulders and she flinched.

When Rin heard Kouga's growl she got worried and peeked around the bolder she was hiding behind. The first thing she saw was Kagome with a wolf youkai gripping her shoulders. Not just any youkai but the wolf youkai that had killed her the first time. Without thinking she ran from behind the bolder to stand in front of Kagome.

When Rin ran to stand in front of her, Kagome was afraid of what Kouga would do, but then she heard growling and it wasn't coming from Kouga. It was coming from . . .

_Sesshoumaru? _

_Uh oh. _

"Rin, what are you doing?" Kagome asked softly. Rin turned around and hugged her. "Rin heard growling and Rin was worried for lady Kagome." She said hugging Kagome tighter then letting go. Rin had a worried look on her face.

"What happened to lady Kagome's neck?" Kagome looked over at Sesshoumaru and saw him pause in his growling.

_Even if he is known as the ice lord to me, he seems to be fond of the girl and I can't disappoint her. She loves Sesshoumaru like a father. Wander if he knows that. _

She looked back at Rin and gave a small smile.

"Its nothing Rin, I'm just clumsy." Rin didn't look convinced, but she didn't ask any more questions. Kouga had gotten over his shock at seeing the girl just pop up in front of him and was getting annoyed.

"Ok runt, move." Kagome scowled at him but he didn't notice.

"No, you won't hurt Lady Kagome." Rin half screamed locking onto Kagome's arm. Kagome hissed as Rin pulled on her shoulder.

"Rin, go back to your place." Kagome said trying not to frighten the girl as her voice came out as a hiss. Rin let go and pulled back to look at her.

"But…"

"You heard her runt, get." Kouga said winding up his foot to kick Rin away from them. Rin squeezed her eyes shut as she saw the demon start to kick her. When nothing came she opened one eye then the other. Kagome was now laying on the ground holding her side. When she saw Kouga wind up to kick Rin something clicked. She wouldn't let any harm come to the girl. At the last minute she dove in front of Rin and took the hit into her ribs. Slowly the tears came, and her eyes were blurred.

_Damn Kouga has one hell of a kick. _

When her eyes cleared she could hear Rin crying behind her and she could see Kouga being held by the neck by an angry Sesshoumaru. Carefully, Kagome forced herself to her feet and pushed Rin behind her with her right hand. Rin clung to her crying into her back. Kagome just knew that her ribs were broken. She didn't know how much more pain she could stand. The tears had gone, she refused to look weak like every one thought she was. Standing she had a better view of things. She now saw that Sesshoumaru's golden eyes had red starting to creep into them.

"Let go flee bag!" Kouga said struggling to get free.

"Sesshoumaru, please, let him go" Kagome said a little scared of what could happen if she didn't get him to drop Kouga. Sesshoumaru suddenly jerked his head at her.

"Shut up bitch!" Kagome flinched at the cold tone. His eyes were almost completely red and his fangs were bared, making him look vicious. Sesshoumaru was glaring at her. She glanced at Kouga and saw that he was struggling to breath. She turned her gaze back to Sesshoumaru.

"Please Sesshoumaru?" Kagome pleaded. He ignored her.

"Do it for Rin?" She whispered. He was about to rip Kouga apart when he heard her words. Kagome saw his eyes soften as he looked at the child still crying behind her. "Don't make her go threw this Sesshoumaru. Don't let her see you like this." Kagome said a little more confident.. Sesshoumaru turned his head back to look at the struggling wolf.

"Get out of here, if I ever see you around either one of them again I will kill you" He said as he loosened his grip so Kouga could breath. Then he let him go completely. Kouga was dropped to his feet with a growl. As soon as Kouga's feet touched the ground he looked at Kagome.

"Kagome?"

"Kouga, please, just leave."

"No, I'm not leaving you. Not here with the ice prince." Kouga said giving her a determined look.

"Kouga!" Kagome turned angry eyes on him. "I'm not your woman and you almost hurt Rin, be glad it was me you hurt instead or I would have to let Sesshoumaru kill you. I wouldn't have been able to forgive you if it was her instead of me." He looked at her as if just realizing what he had done.

"Kagome, I . . ." Kagome held her hand up to stop him. She shook her head as she slowly let her hand fall to her side. "I'm sorry, but you have to leave."

"Kagome?" Kouga asked not understanding.

"Kouga…."She paused to take a shaky breath as he continued toward her. She didn't want to resort to scaring him but he needed to go. "Kouga…please…" she said lifting her right arm in front of her as it glowed a whitish-blue. He took a step back from her. She could see the hurt in his eyes. Then a snarl came to his features. "You would really choose them over me."

"Don't make me do this!…Kouga." Kagome whispered as she pushed Rin out from behind her so she wouldn't get hurt. Kouga pounced and they both fell to the ground. Kouga's claws were digging into her sides, but all Kagome could concentrate on was his face. His eyes were angry and his fangs were extended.

"You will be mine, no one else's." He gritted out. When he lowered his head to her neck her fear increased. Kagome stilled when she felt his fangs touch the soft skin of her shoulder and neck. Her eyes widened in anger. She wouldn't be the victim ever again. She laid her glowing hands flat against his chest and allowed the blue light to flow into him. Right when he opened his mouth to bite her she screamed and Kouga was thrown back, leaving her with claw marks down the side of her cheek.. She could hear Rin crying, she had no idea where Sesshoumaru was and didn't really care. Kagome opened her eyes and saw Kouga laying with his back against a tree about a yard away from her. With her last ounce of strength she pulled herself over to him and raised a hand to his neck. He was still alive, just stunned. She concentrated on the jewel shard he had and used her powers to retrieve it from him. A wound was left on his leg but she knew that he would be alright. She just wish she knew what had gotten into him.

She reached up and allowed the shard to attach itself back to the almost completer jewel before looked around for Rin.

"Rin?" Kagome called weakly.

"H Hai lady Kagome?" Rin said whipping her tears away, even though she was still crying. Kagome just looked up into her face as she approached. She couldn't move otherwise.

"Are you ok Rin?" She asked struggling to stay conscious long enough to know that Rin was ok.

"Rin not hurt, but lady Kagome needs…"

"Good Rin, good." She whispered weakly cutting her off. The last thing she saw was Sesshoumaru's cold expression, but it was different, it held worry and…respect? With that everything went black.


	6. Can You Remember?

**Disclaimer: **I do get tired of saying this. I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters. I just wish I did.

**Recap: **Kagome opened her eyes and saw Kouga laying with his back against a tree about a yard away from her. . ."Are you ok Rin?" . . . Rin not hurt, but lady Kagome needs…" "Good Rin, good." The last thing she saw was Sesshoumaru's cold expression . . . It held worry and…Respect? With that everything went black.

**Chapter 6: **

**Can You Remember?**

~Back in Keade's village~

After Kagome had left, Sango explain to Shippou that Kagome went to look for Inuyasha. That had been a week ago and neither had came back yet.

"Where's Kagome?" Shippou whined from inside Kagome's sleeping bag. Sango had pulled it out for him a while back and he had been sleeping in it since.

"I don't know Shippou?" Sango answered from her spot against the wall of the hut. Where she sat she could see anyone that came in. Sango looked out the huts entrance worried.

_Inuyasha, if you have hurt my sister…I'm going to kill you. They should be back by now._

Her thoughts were disturbed when Shippou climbed into her lap along with Kirara. She looked down at them as Shippou curled up against Kirara and wrapped his tail around himself. Sango sighed as they let a much needed sleep claim them. With a sigh Sango let her head fall back against the huts wall. Right then Miroku came in and sat beside her. She didn't move as he started talking.

"There's no sign of Kagome nor is there any sign of Inuyasha." He sighed and looked at Sango. She turned slightly and leaned on his shoulder. He went to put an arm around her but paused at her voice.

"Miroku, please, just let me have a little peace. No playing around, ok? Be serious for once." she said weakly.

"No Sango, no playing." He said softly as he put his arm around her and pulled her to him. "no playing, I'm being totally serious Sango." Sango hesitantly put her arms around him as she silently cried. The only hint that she was crying was the wetness of her tears that sank through his robes. He let her cry as she hadn't done since her brother was buried. As he held her he laid his head on hers, softly running his hands through her hair. "Hmm . . . thank you, Miroku." In the few minutes that they had been sitting there, they had both fallen asleep.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Kagome woke up to darkness all around her. The first thing she realized was how much the pain had intensified. She tried to sit up but her multiple wounds stopped her from doing so. She hissed as she put strain on her legs, trying to move them under her. She gave up when the pain became unbearable. Lying her head down on the grass she became scared. The noises started to click in her mind, the tree leaves were flowing in the slight wind. In the distance there was a wolf howling at, from what she could tell, was the crescent moon.

_They left me._

Kagome thought with a pained laugh. She could hear nothing that would give away anyone near by. It wouldn't have been as bad if she was strong enough to actually hold up in a fight, lying here now she was sure that she wouldn't be able to defend herself much less move to get out of the way. Not even with her miko powers, she was way too weak to use any energy. Especially since her powers would be concentrated on healing her. As she thought about everything that had happened her tears came back to her. She had kept them in so she wouldn't be called weak, but what good was it doing now. There was no one to call her weak now, there was no one to help her. She cried with out a care, she cried not knowing that she wasn't alone. She curled in on herself and moved her arms so that she could cover her face with her hands. As she bent her legs up to her chest the pain from all her injuries added up. She almost couldn't stand the painful burning that it caused to her body, but she figured that anything that happened from now on was what she deserved. All she could do was make the best of it. Kagome whipped her tears away as she slowly sat up and leaned against the tree closest to her, it wasn't an easy feat, as she sat up she could feel her wounds stretching and pulling at the irritated skin. She put her hand to her face and instantly pulled it away at the burning sensation. As she pulled it away she found blood covering her hand. She looked at it a little confused at first but then instantly remembered what happened. Her eyes glazed as the memories came like a speeding arrow that was headed straight for her heart. They weren't scattered, they were all together exactly as it had happened.

~ _Flashback ~_

_Kouga's claws were digging into her sides, but all Kagome could concentrate on was his face. His eyes were angry and his fangs were extended. _

"_You will be mine, no one else's." He gritted out. When he lowered his head to her neck her fear increased. Kagome stilled when she felt his fangs touch the soft skin of her shoulder and neck. She laid her glowing hands flat against his chest and allowed the blue light to flow into him. Right when he opened his mouth to bite her she screamed and Kouga was thrown back, leaving her with claw marks down the side of her cheek.. She could hear Rin crying, she had no idea where Sesshoumaru was and didn't really care. Kagome opened her eyes and saw Kouga laying with his back against a tree about a yard away from her._

_~ End Flashback ~_

Kagome was brought back when a sound came to her ears. It was the soft sound of a crying child.

_RIN? _

Kagome looked around but couldn't see in the darkness that surrounded her.

"Rin! Where are you?" She asked, her voice cracking with the worry that flowed threw her.

"Kagome?" Came a weak voice that was barely a whisper through the sobs.

"Hai . . . Rin, I'm here. Where are you?" It went quiet for a second then she heard the sound of cloth moving over the grass. Kagome jumped when a hand grabbed her arm. She hadn't noticed that they were so close.

"Oh lady Kagome." Rin said whipping her tears away leaving only the wet tracks sparkling down her face.

"Rin thought you were . . . you were."

"Shhh . . . I'm ok now." Rin looked up at her with puffy red eyes.

"No your not, Sesshoumaru-sama said y . . .you . . .you were losing too…too much blood." Rin's voice cracked as she started to cry again.

"Oh Rin, I promise, I'll be ok. I'm just a little scratched up." Kagome lied as she hugged the young girl to her. Kagome, for a while had forgotten about her wounds. Just knowing that the girl thought she would lose her was unbearable. Then a thought hit her.

"Rin? Look at me? . . . Where is Sesshoumaru?" She asked, knowing if he had left Rin here alone she would surly kill him.

"He . . .he's . . ."

"Here." Came a cold voice from a few feet away. Kagome turned slightly and could see the glowing white cloth, and his gold eyes that shown through the darkness, his hair seemed to flow behind him as a slight breeze went by.

"Rin?" Kagome noticed that his voice picked up a gentle tone when talking to the girl. Rin looked up from her position in Kagome's lap.

"H . . .Hai . . . Sesshoumaru-sama?"

"Come here to me." It wasn't a command, but it wasn't a question either. Rin slowly got up. After giving Kagome a gentle hug she made her way over to him. Rin looked up at him with tear stained cheeks, her eyes were still clouded with sadness that made her already brown eyes look even darker. Sesshoumaru's expression didn't change from it's cold exterior as he gently picked her up and turned to leave. Tears came to Kagome's eyes as she watched them walk away.

_He really is going to leave me here. He's going to leave me here to die. _

She thought, then the whispered words came.

"Rin, you will go to Jaken. He will be waiting for you at the castle." Sesshoumaru said in a soft tone.

"Fluffy, what are you…?"

"I have things I need to take care of." He said shifting his gaze in the direction of Kagome, giving her his icy stare. That one look made Kagome's face turn pale. Tears fell once again at what she knew he could do to her. The worst thing was, she couldn't move to get away, she couldn't hardly even breath without some pain in her ribs. Rin had been her safety net, now that she was gone what would he do? He turned back to Rin, setting her down on a two headed dragon that Kagome realized to be Ah Un. "What about Lady Kagome?" Rin whispered weakly as she tried to stay awake. Sesshoumaru ignored the question as he stepped back.

"Go to sleep Rin." He said in a bored tone. She slowly leaned back and as soon as her head hit the dragons neck she was sleeping peacefully. Kagome watched as Ah Un flew off into the night with the sleeping girl on its back. She watched until it was out of sight. The whole time thinking

_Please come back, don't leave me here. Not with him. Not with Sesshoumaru. _

For the first time, she was truly scared. She didn't want to be alone but she didn't want the company that she was given. Suddenly, Sesshoumaru was standing in front of her. She hadn't even saw him move. She jumped, causing pain to run through her body. Sesshoumaru kneeled down in front of her so that they were eye level. She looked straight into his eyes, eyes mixed with emotions she couldn't decipher. There was a mixture of respect, curiosity, but above all though, was the honor that came with every living being. The fear in her eyes seemed to disintegrate as she saw the emotions that had been shown disappear back into a mask of indifference. Her eyes suddenly grew wide as he gently lifted her off the ground with his tail around her knees and only arm around her shoulders. She clenched at the cloth on his chest at the pain it caused. Sesshoumaru looked down at her when he felt her flinch. His eyes softened for a brief second before going back to normal. When the pain faded she hesitantly rested her head on his chest. Any lasting feelings of being scared seemed to pass as she pressed her ear to his chest. She could hear his heart beat.

_Hmm . . .he does have a heart._

She caught herself thinking. Some how after everything else she had ever thought about him she found that one thought to be the most guilty one. She was brought out of her thoughts by slight growling. Kagome slowly lifted her head to look into Sesshoumaru's face. His fangs weren't bared but it was obvious that something was wrong.

"Se…Sesshoumaru?" She asked, not quite sure if it was something that she had done. For a second she thought he wouldn't answer. Then he turned his head to look at her. His face showed nothing but his eyes, they showed, worry? His hand tightened on her shoulder as he growled.

"Your losing too much blood. Your wounds must be healed now or you wont live." For the first time since Sesshoumaru's cloud had took off she realized that she hadn't slept, hadn't eaten, in hours. She felt numb. Her whole body was numb and cold, and she was starting to feel the unconsciousness take over. Her eyes started to glaze over, the blurriness making it hard to see. Suddenly the cloud jerked downwards and she flinched as Sesshoumaru shook her.

Sesshoumaru jerked the cloud down as he sensed Kagome starting to lose consciousness. As the cloud dissolved under his feet he jumped to the ground gracefully, landing by a small hot spring with a view of the moon. The heat would ease her tense nerves and wash away the grunge. The smell of blood was overwhelming. He was tempted to just leave her to die.

_You cant do it, can you?_

_I could if I so wanted._

_Sesshoumaru, what makes you think that you, Lord of the Western Lands, could leave a girl to die. And when so many seem to love her. Your brother would be very unhappy with you._

_My __**Brother**__ has nothing to do with this. If I so wished I could dump her here and never give it a second thought. _

_You may be able to do so, but would Rin ever forgive you if you did?_

Sesshoumaru growled softly to himself as the thought of Rin went through his mind. He had saw Rin angry before. At Jaken. She hadn't spoken to him for months after that. The little toad acted as if it was a relief but inside it had torn him up, not having the cheerful voice that always seemed to be there when all was too quiet. Even Sesshoumaru couldn't lie about liking the cheerfulness throughout the day, at least not to himself. Even though he wouldn't admit it out loud.

_You are so arrogant Sesshoumaru, you can't see what the world gives you. Right in front of your face, under your very nose as it seems. It's a shame really. Lord Sesshoumaru, I am you, I know what you think and what you want. I know that you haven't had peace, with the exception of Rin, since you lost your mother. How long will the solitude go on? How long will you live as if your life was made to be perfect, a life of nothing but stern expressions, angry scowls, and slanted eyes that show nothing but seriousness._

Sesshoumaru's growls grew louder. The thought of his mother was a painful one to remember. He had pushed it to the back of his mind for so long that he had been sure the memory was gone. The thought was just a reminder that a memory never leaves.

_Think on it Sesshoumaru, when __**is**__ the last time you smiled or laughed. Can you remember the last time you smiled just to make someone else smile, or laughed just to laughed. Think on it, Mi'Lord._


	7. What Else Is There To Do Part One

**Recap: **_Think on it Sesshoumaru, when __**is**__ the last time you smiled or laughed. The last time you smiled just to make someone else smile, or laughed just to laugh. Think on it, Mi'Lord._

**Chapter 7: **

**What Else Is There To Do 'Part One'**

Sesshoumaru shook his head trying to clear it of the memories. Memories that didn't belong at the front of ones mind. Looking down at the woman in his care, he realized that he wouldn't leave her. Rin would be heartbroken but there was also something about her. She stood up for herself and showed that she was powerful enough to put up a fight. Throughout all there battles in the past she hadn't been afraid to stand up to him. And she obviously had won a fight recently. That's why he wouldn't leave her.

(But he's not going soft or anything, lol)

Leaving her here to die would be to dishonor ones self. That would not do.

Sesshoumaru nudged Kagome's shoulder when he felt her sinking into exhaustion once more. She groggily opened her eyes and stared up into his face. He stared back with a scowl. The scowl might as well have been a smile, for she couldn't see it. The blurriness had been nothing compared to how it looked now. Before she could make out people and things but now, everything seemed to run together, nothing made sense, all it did was make her dizzy.

"Sesshoumaru?" Kagome said the fear evident in her voice. "Sesshoumaru, I…I can't see. I can't see anything. Its all a blur." She said as her eyes watered up. "It hurts." Kagome said, silently the tears fell from her eyes. She wrapped her arms around herself. Sesshoumaru's eyes softened as he saw her stare where she thought his face was. He knew she wasn't lying when she said she couldn't see. The pain had blocked her senses. She had never been this scared, not even of himself. She was too proud to be afraid of something that wasn't serious. Sesshoumaru slowly walked to the pond in front of him. He had taken a few steps when he spoke.

"I presume that you won't be standing on your own." He looked down to see her reaction. He got none. She was cold and clammy. He was surprised that she was able to stay awake, she had lost too much blood for it not to have caused some kind of damage to her body. Besides the coolness to her skin she was awake and as able as any broken person could be. She was strong but it wouldn't last. She would pass back out soon enough. As he came to the hot spring he gently set her down.

"S . . .Sesshoumaru?" He kneeled in front of her and grasped her shoulder to keep her upright. She flinched when he touched her.

"Miko, I must ask you to trust me." She nodded and turned her head to the side. She paused before speaking.

"Do I have a choice?" She said weakly as she turned her head to stare up at him. Sesshoumaru stared into her eyes only to be met with emptiness. The cheerfulness that she used to hold there was gone. The pain that she felt had gotten to her. Her physical and mental wounds were ruining her.

_She's weak and she still talks back to me. _

Sesshoumaru thought with a scowl as he looked her over. It seemed as though the bruises and cuts had multiplied. As for as he could see, there wasn't a space of skin that hadn't been bruised.

_What has she been doing to damage herself so? She must have been walking around with some of them for days._

The claw marks on her face were still bleeding slightly. Sesshoumaru growled low in his throat when the wind changed directions and sent the smell of blood his way.

Thinking that she had done something wrong Kagome flinched and backed away from him as far as her body would let her.

"Miko!" The voice towered over her and she whimpered deep in her throat.

"Miko." the voice softened and she almost doubted that it was Sesshoumaru until his hand clenched her shoulder once again. Kagome hissed at the pain it caused.

When she hissed Sesshoumaru pulled his hand back.

"You have to be cleaned. If the blood stays any longer you may attract some unwanted attention" The thought hadn't really crossed her mind but thinking on it now she realized for fact that she wouldn't be safe if the blood wasn't washed away. The only problem was that she knew that she had no strength to do so. Kagome dropped her head so her face went into shadow.

"I . . . I can't" She said weakly. Even though Sesshoumaru had known the answer he had not wanted to have to help her. He thought it beneath him.

"You must" His voice carried an air of command.

"I CAN'T" Kagome jerked her head up and the tears that she had tried to hide were now evident. As her shoulder shook with the silent cries she talked in low, knowing tones. "I know that I can't stay like this, I know that if the blood isn't washed away other demons will come for me. But there is nothing I can do." She said as the words grew faint on her lips. The worry in her tone was hard to miss. Sesshoumaru knew this as he had already guessed that the wounds were too much. "I should never have run away." He heard her whisper under her breath.

_What will you do now Sesshoumaru. You going to leave her because you have too much pride. Or perhaps you have decided to put pride aside for once to help someone other than yourself._

The voice mocked him, and it irritated him to no end.

_This once I will have to put pride aside. If only for Rin to be happy when we return. _

'We' the word sounded so odd. It had never been **we** should go home, **we** need to do this, **we** have to get this done. It had always been **I**,** I **need, **I** have to, **I **should.

Sesshoumaru stood from his place in front of her and started to take off first his swords then his armor.

Kagome raised her head at the soft thud of something heavy hitting the ground. Her eyes had cleared slightly from when she had first woken. At least enough to let her know that the sound was made by Sesshoumaru's armor and swords being gently dropped to the ground. She turned her blurred vision up to Sesshoumaru in time to see him take off his outer garment then the under. He folded it then let the soft material drop to the ground. Kagome blushed and turned her head away as he disrobed completely. Even though she knew what had to be done she couldn't get the feeling of uncertainty to leave. From everything that he had ever done to her it seemed wrong to trust him with her body, but at the same time she felt that nothing would harm her as long as she was with him. For no demon would think twice about going up against a lord, would they.

Her thoughts were interrupted as she felt him untie the laces holding her top together. She would have fought him, pushed him away but she couldn't. She heard him growl when he saw the wound at her shoulder. She flinched away from him but he pulled her back. She shook her head when he reached for her leggings but he pulled them off and piled them with her shoes. A chill consumed her body and she shivered. She saw a green glow form only inches from her and recognized it as the glowing green of his poison whip. She screamed and tried to hit him with what little energy she had left but he easily halted her movements.

"Human!" He ground out. "You will halt this!" She struggled and he caught her wrists in his hand and forced them over her head. He came nose to nose with her. "Do you want to live?" Her head was turned away from him and he could make out tears on her cheeks.

"Please Sesshoumaru." She said softly. "Your hurting me." Her voice shook with her fear.

"If I release you will you be still." She nodded franticly. He let go of her wrists and saw the blood seep from the wound at her shoulder. He let his claws grow green once again and she flinched. He paused to look down at her. Then it dawned on him.

"I'm not trying to kill you Miko."

"Then what the hell are you doing!" She yelled.

"Trying to save you!" He shouted. That made them both pause. Never in his life had he lost his cool. Never in his many years had he raised his voice at anyone. His golden eyes glared down at her and he was surprised to see her turn her head to the side giving in to him. When his claws glowed green again she looked up at him with sad brown eyes but didn't move. She stayed completely still as he burned her wounds shut one by one. He was impressed that she managed to stay conscious. But he noticed that the more he closed her wounds the weaker she got. In answer to his mental question she opened her eyes slightly.

"Its your demon aura." She mumbled. "The more you use to heal me the weaker my own gets. I'm a Miko Sesshoumaru, I can be around you but too much of you aura in my veins will kill me." He should have known that. He hadn't considered the fact that she was Miko. He called her by title but it had escaped him. What was happening to him that he so easily let it slip his mind. She must have felt his inner turmoil because she lightly touched his arm.

"I'll be alright." He glowered down at her but she didn't seem to let it bother her.

_You admire her. _His inner Youkai commented.

"You have to be washed." He stated as he reached to remove her bra and panties.

"Sesshoumaru…please give me this much." He didn't know why he complied. The lord of the west never cared about how anyone felt he did what must be done and that was it. No questions asked. But something stopped him. His demon had been right, he did admire her. On some level he respected her. She grunted as he lifted her and carried her into the hot spring. The heat soaked into her skin and consumed her. She couldn't remember the last time she had bathed, much less in a hot spring. Against her better judgment she found herself leaning into Sesshoumaru's warmth as the heat of the water brushed against her closed wounds. She ground her teeth as the heat of the water tortured her burns. She hadn't realized she was crying until he nuzzled his nose against her cheek.

_Why is he acting like this?_

"Sesshoumaru?" She asked softly. He caught what he was doing and straightened. She watched as his stoic features returned as he lowered them farther into the water. She could feel his tail wrap gently around her legs and start rubbing away the dirt. She sighed and pulled away from him slightly to sink her shoulders into the water. She hissed at the burning in her shoulder but ignored it as warmth surrounded her. It made her sleepy, or was that the loss of blood, but she knew that until she was safe she couldn't allow herself to rest. She was weak and at any moment he could decide nuzzling wasn't his thing and kill her. She glanced up at him and was startled when golden eyes were focused on her. She realized that he was staring at the punctures on her neck. She turned her head away so he couldn't see the marks that were there. Sesshoumaru growled as he gently held her chin in his hand, turning it back he bent his head to her neck. She stiffened once again as she felt his tongue lick the wound there. As he licked away the blood that settled there his tail ran over a cut on her leg and Kagome tried to hold back a hiss. The rubbing stopped and she looked up to be met with gold.

" _Does he actually care if I'm hurt or not? Was that guilt that I just saw in his eyes?"_

Guilt didn't suit the lord of the west.

"How is your sight?"

"Still blurry." She said letting her attitude backtrack. It only made her realize the situation she was still in.

"Trust me." She eyed him. Was he asking or was he commanding her to trust him.

Kagome nodded her head at him as she watched him put his hand on her shoulder. If she had been in any other position at the moment she would have thought his words funny. 'Trust him', but hearing the words come from him now she realized that she did in fact trust him. He brought his mouth to her ear and whispered roughly.

"Hold your breath." In the next instant he had pushed her down beneath the water and after a few seconds pulled her back up. Kagome gasped as she was rushed to the surface of the water. When she got her composure she glared up at him. "Y you jerk, y you could h have killed m me." She sputtered forgetting about her position. He ignored her.

"Can you see?" He asked calmly.

"I" She calmed down and actually looked around. She could indeed see a little better.

"What did you do?" She asked as another shiver went through her body. Then she recognized the tingling sensation from before. Sesshoumaru had gently started to rub his tail against her legs again cleaning them. Once she got used to the feeling of his tail on her legs she was able to ignore it, well until he came to the wound on her leg. She clenched her jaw against the pain until he moved on..

She glanced up at him to see he was looking behind her into the forest.

"Sesshoumaru?" It had been silent for the past five minutes and the silence along with her slight nakedness was not helping to ease her nerves. She called his name again but got no answer. She sighed but then hissed as another cut had come into the path of his tail. After the pain subsided she glanced up at him. He had been staring out into the forest behind her but as she glanced up at him she was met with golden eyes.

"Sesshoumaru?" She stiffened when he suddenly started to run his clawed hand through her dark hair to fan it out into the water. She relaxed as he continued to comb out the tangles. The way he combed through her hair seemed to take her mind off of the multiple injuries that were spread over her body. She flinched when he rubbed his tail against the wound on her leg again and the rubbing on her legs stopped. Kagome looked up and then noticed that Sesshoumaru had stopped combing her hair and was staring at her. His eyes almost seemed to be asking whether or not she was ok. Kagome nodded her head and the rubbing continued.

She couldn't figure him out. He was gentle with her but he hated humans. He had at one point hated everything she had to do with. Why was he acting like this. She could handle Sesshoumaru, but not like this. The fact that he had closed her wounds meant that the blood was flowing normally through her system again, but it would be a while before she was back in shape.

She was brought from her thoughts as his tail went a little higher onto her thighs. Sesshoumaru brought his head up to her ear when she stilled.

"Are you scared?" He asked mockingly.

She glared up at him with unwavering anger.

"What makes you think that I would ever be afraid of you?" She said. Trying to sound angry was hard when you were at the other persons disposal. Kagome stepped as far away from him as possible without drowning. She was starting to realize how close they were and that she was still pretty much naked except for her underwear. Not a good combination. Sesshoumaru's tail ran over yet another deep cut as he cleaned over her arms and abdomen. She squeezed her eyes shut on instinct. When she opened them again he was looking at her with a slight worry that she couldn't understand.

_How does he do that. One minute he can act so uncaring but then his eyes will show something totally different. _

She realized she couldn't stay mad for long. Not only was it not of her nature but it was hard to do in the situation she was in. He was the only one helping her at the time. Kagome dropped her head to look at the ripples the played on the water.

"Sesshoumaru? Can we get out now." She asked as she thought about getting out and around a warm fire. She looked up at him with pleading eyes, her cheeks felt hot from embarrassment. Just then her head jerked to the left as her Miko powers picked up five demons scattered through out the forest. It was weak but she could still tell that something was there.

"Sesshoumaru . . ."

"I know" His voice was colder than it had been.

"What should we do?" She asked as she stared out into the forest. He unwrapped his tail from her legs to wrap around her waist. He pulled her to him as he lifted them from the water. She shivered as the cool air hit her. As they landed Kagome tried to pull from him but his arm tightened around her. She struggled against him until he snapped at her.

"When I let you go I want you to get my clothes." Sesshoumaru whispered then slowly let his arm drop from around her. Kagome hesitantly bent down, trying to keep her eyes on the dark forest ahead.

"Hurry up!" The sound of his voice had grown angry, whether at her or the demons she wasn't sure. She stood back up and instantly Sesshoumaru's tail was wrapped back around her. As he glared out into the forest he bent to get his swords and armor with his only hand. Before he even stood back up his cloud had started to form at his feet.

The five demons each came from a different direction as they flew out of reach. Feeling safe once again Kagome rested her head on Sesshoumaru's chest. Then they jolted forward and she tightened her arms around his neck.

"What were they after?" Kagome asked hesitantly, not knowing if she really wanted to know. She looked up at Sesshoumaru when there was no answer only to be met with knowing eyes.

"You."


	8. What Else Is There To Do Part Two

**Recap: **"What were they after?" Kagome asked hesitantly…."You."

**Chapter 8: **

**What Else Is There To Do 'Part Two'**

The one word meant so little but also meant so much.

"What? Me?" She sounded fearful. "Why?" She asked, not sure if she wanted to know the answer. It went silent until Sesshoumaru finally spoke.

"You've gone into heat." He stated simply, not looking at her. Kagome blushed and turned her head away remembering that he had yet to put back on any clothes.

"Why didn't you tell me before."

"You would have worried" He turned golden eyes on her as she grew even more worried.

_If I would have to worry about normal demons, will I have to worry about Sesshoumaru. Am I in danger right now?_

Kagome stiffened at the thought. She shivered just thinking about what would happed if anything ever got out of control. She tried to move away from Sesshoumaru's grip, even if just a little. She stilled once again as the arm around her waist tightened.

"Miko, I assure you that you are safe. I could have better than you if need be." Kagome's head lowered as she thought it through.

_He could have better than me. Why would I even think that he would go after me, even in heat. _

The words that were said finally got to her. Her head lowered further as the sentence replayed in her head. His words hurt, as she thought about it they really did.

_Why does what he said bother me so much. I know I'm ok looking, I'm smart. I . . . Maybe that's why Inu . . . No, I will not think about him. _

She straightened and was determined to hold her head high. As the view of a small meadow came into view everything seemed to disappear from her mind. As they came closer the cloud started to lower until it disappeared all together. The moon that hung overhead gave it just enough light to make out a few sleeping flowers. The arm around her let go and she stumbled to get her balance.

"Your still weak, we will rest here then be on our way tomorrow." Kagome jerked her head to look at him but instantly turned back around when he started pulling back on his pants.

"Who says I'm staying with you, I have better things to do than hang out with you" Her voice became calm as she turned and saw the look of aggravation of his face. "Can you blame me, put yourself in my place. Would you feel safe with you if you were me." A breeze blew by letting her know just how wet she was. The shiver that went through her was noticeable to anyone that cared to see.

"How far do you hope to make it human? You will attract every Youkai within three miles."

"I'll be fine."

_She's going to kill herself with that attitude._

"Remove those wet garments and put this on." Sesshoumaru said, ignoring her last comment. Without looking up she reached a shaky hand out and took his outer garb. She said nothing as she turned away from him. He started to walk toward the nearest tree but stopped when her whispered words came to his sensitive ears.

"Thank you, Sesshoumaru." He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. She had a sadness about her that made her seem solitary. Untouchable, but the fear that was mixed in deep down let the world know that she could get hurt just as easily as anyone else. Some of her strength was coming back because of her healing miko powers but it would take a while for her to be able to move swiftly again. He glanced at her face and saw nothing…she was blocked. She had sheltered herself.

_She hides her feelings well, even though hurt both physically and mentally she still goes on as if nothing has happened. _

Without looking to see if Sesshoumaru had turned she slowly started to remove her underwear knowing that if she remained in them while they were wet she would get sick. The wounds that marred her skin were everywhere, she hadn't realized that her week of traveling had scared her so badly.

She could feel eyes on her and it made her self conscious. She knew it was Sesshoumaru and for some reason she felt it made her feel so low. She couldn't bring herself to shed anymore clothing in front of him.

"I can't strip with you watching me." She turned to glare at him but he had already disappeared. She sighed as another breeze came making her shiver. She let herself slide to the ground and examined the wounds he had burned closed. They were sealed tight. She sighed with the knowledge that she wouldn't bleed to death but she hated that she wouldn't be able to travel for a while. She had no choice but to trust that he wouldn't leave her to be raped by some damn youkai. Nothing seemed to be going right anymore.

"When will it stop." She whispered as a single tear came to her eye without her knowing. She sat on her knees her hands pressed to the ground between them to keep her upright.

Sesshoumaru had come back as she fell to the ground, every inch of her body that was shown to him was marked with some kind of damage. All the fights that he had had with his brother he always saw her spirited and determined. She still had the determination but her spirit was no more. It had been broken.

_What has that half breed done. _

That was the only thought that went through his mind as he quietly dropped the firewood and walked up behind her. She went still and he stopped where he was.

"Miko, get up." Sesshoumaru said calmly. His cold tone gone for the moment, but she didn't move.

Kagome never felt him walk up behind her, so his voice made her sit still when it came from right behind. She couldn't make her body follow his command. It seemed useless to try.

"Sesshoumaru, it wont stop will it?" The sadness in her voice was undeniable. She turned to look him in the eye but before she could he had pulled her up by her arm. She ground her teeth together at the sudden movement. Sesshoumaru said nothing as he picked her up and carried her to sit near the fire. She watched as he kneeled down and started the fire with his glowing fingers. She had trouble picturing him acting so primitive. She found herself really looking at him. The purple stripes wound around his wrist and up the back of his arm, she could see how they wrapped around his torso and the ones on his cheeks stood out against his pale skin. His tail wasn't as long as she had originally thought. It barely reached his ankles and she found herself wondering what the thing was that wrapped around his shoulder and chest was because surely his tail wasn't long enough to do that.

Once the fire was started he stayed like that simply watching the flames. The glow played off his skin and she wondered if maybe he had done this more often than she realized. She pulled his shirt closed around her. The sleeves hung past her fingertips making her realize just how small she was in comparison. A thought occurred to her but watching him she didn't know if it was wise to interrupt his thoughts but it would disturb her if she didn't know.

"Sesshoumaru?" She whispered. He didn't acknowledge her but somehow she knew he was listening. She hesitated with what she wanted to say, having second thoughts about whether or not she really wanted to know.

"Spit it out miko." She focused on the twitch of the fire as she took a breath.

"How long have I been in heat?" He glanced over at her and she kept her gaze trained on the flames.

"A day perhaps."

"I guess that could explain Kouga's weirdness. Normally he wouldn't have been like that." She tightened her arms around herself. "How come it hasn't affected you?" She looked up at him when he stood. His gold eyes ran over her with an analyzing stare.

"I never said it didn't affect me." At his words she pulled her eyes away from him. She shivered as the cool wind sent a chill down her spine. He had seated himself against a tree close to the fire and she felt jealous at the fact that the coolness didn't seem to bother him. Her glare didn't last long as the wind picked up even more.

"Miko." He said calling her attention to him. "Come here." She shook her head at the though of moving any closer to him than she had to.

"Come to me human." His voice growing stern when she didn't comply.

"I'm not a child you can boss around Sesshoumaru." She said turning away from him completely. When he grabbed her and sat back down against the tree with her in his lap she struggled against him, but she was only hurting herself in the process. She finally gave up and went slack.

"Are you done." If she didn't know better she would think he was laughing at her. She was going to smart back until he wrapped his tail around them and she couldn't help but close her eyes to the softness of it. Realizing what she was doing and who she was with she pulled back. Feeling her unease Sesshoumaru gently started combing his fingers through her hair like he had at the spring. It calmed her slightly to know that his hand was in her hair away from her body.

She relaxed a little and set her head on his chest. His hand left her hair and lowered to pull his kimono down off her left shoulder. She jerked away from him but he tightened his hold.

"Let me see." She paused at hearing his voice so light. Looking up she hadn't expected to see respect flash in his eyes. Seeing that she slowly leaned into him and allowed him to examine her shoulder. He then moved to her damaged sides where Kouga has pierced her. She watched as he inspected them carefully before moving to her leg. Kagome almost couldn't believe this was Sesshoumaru, she hadn't thought he would be this gentle with her. He didn't touch her as he nodded in satisfaction.

"You can trust me miko."

"No I can't, at this point anything with a half decent nose can't be trusted." She shifted slight trying to make herself comfortable since he probably wasn't going to let her up. "I don't even know how this works." She whispered.

"The longer your in heat the stronger the scent will be. It will attract lesser youkai at first but after a while even the strongest will search you out. You're a miko which means taking you will increase their power while stripping you of yours. The longer they are around without having you will drive them to their youkai instincts. Females in heat have a scent that can drive the most stable to their most fierce." Every word out his mouth fired her fear. She could feel her own heart racing in her ears. She bowed her head hiding her face.

"So even with you I wont be safe."

"An Inu's instincts isn't to harm miko. Ever youkai is different."

"Bust most would rape me and toss me."

"Yes." She shivered at his bluntness.

"Your trying to tell me you wouldn't?"

"The Inu species' instinct is to find a mate worthy of them. Their intentions aren't to harm but to be extremely gentle and caring when in that state." She laughed at that. She couldn't see the Lord of the West being anything but cold.

"Like a little puppy." She held her hand over her mouth to swallow the giggle. "Seriously, you? Gentle? " His grip tightened on her good arm giving her a warning.

"I wont lie to you miko, if I fall into that instinct and you resist me the instinct to simply take you will override the instinct to be careful."

"Why are you telling me this?" She asked, her voice leveling. After a moment when he hadn't answered her she dared a glance up at him. The fire made his hair glow orange in the dark as he tore his eyes away from the fire to land on her.

"Because I respect you enough to warn you."

"So you would have me lay down and let you have your way." He could feel the anger rise in her voice.

"Would you rather be taken forcefully. It would pain you less to submit." She flinched away from the thought. She stared into the fire as she tried to picture just letting it happen. "Why didn't I ever have this problem before."

"Inuyasha was always around so his scent would claim you. Any low level Youkai would have been defeated easily by your group."

"But Inuyasha never…"

"He's a half breed. It wouldn't have affected him the same if at all. You've been running around alone for over a week and his scent has gone."

"Making me a free meal." He didn't say anything as she chewed her lower lip.

"I don't want it like this." A tear came to her eye and she brushed it away absently. "Not my first." She whispered under her breath. She felt him dip his head down near her neck and take a deep breath.

"Don't let that slip miko." He said roughly beside her ear. "It'll only make it worse for you." She stilled as he pulled her hair to cover her neck and leaned back against the tree.

"What do you mean."

"Innocence is rare."

"And there are those who would take me just to hear me scream." He looked down at her tense shoulders as she finished for him. "I'm not stupid Sesshoumaru. I realize here I'm the only one that treasures my innocence." She closed her eyes and let the heat from the fire warm her face. "I have been here for five years and I have noticed that no one here cares."

"Its not that youkai don't care. Some do. If a female can last till their mated then it shows how strong they are to have lasted that long. How valuable they are."

"Are you complimenting me." A soft growl vibrated through his chest and she couldn't help the calming affect it had over her.

"You are infuriating."

"Might as well be if I'm stuck with you."

He refused to gift that with a reply. Now she was just talking to keep her mind off hew own thoughts. He watched as she fell back into herself, her eyes going blank. He assumed she was considering the last week or so. Anger flickered across her eyes before settling into a lonely scared look that he only remembered seeing on Rin. She closed her eyes letting a few tears escape. He shouldn't be getting close to her. He should have left her by herself on the other side of the fire. But she reminded him of Rin when he had found her beaten and left for dead. He didn't know why she hadn't given up long ago. Surely her body couldn't take the beating. Glancing down at her face, he knew she would never just lay down. She was so different from the women that sat around in the villages. Even different from the youkai females. He could understand her physical wounds, but she had pain that went deeper than that, even he, the cold lord of the west, could see that.

_She has been through so much without giving in. She will survive these wounds, but the wounds that she suffers from the heart is something I never will know._

Her anxiousness leveled out until she allowed herself to rest easily against him. Unconsciously he set his hand on her shoulder and pulled her closer to him. She shivered as another breeze went by and he wrapped his tail tighter around her. A smell he hadn't noticed there before drifted him into sleep. The fragrance that was all Kagome was calming, but the smell mixed with it growing stronger would be trouble.

_The smell of her heat is barely there, but it will present a problem._

He thought this as he drifted into to sleep for the first time in ages.


	9. Fighting Temptation

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Inuyasha.

**Recap: **Her anxiousness leveled out until she allowed herself to rest easily against him. Unconsciously he set his hand on her shoulder and pulled her closer to him. She shivered as another breeze went by and he wrapped his tail tighter around her. A smell he hadn't noticed there before drifted him into sleep. The fragrance that was all Kagome was calming, but the smell mixed with it growing stronger would be trouble.

_The smell of her heat is barely there, but it will present a problem._

He thought this as he drifted into to sleep for the first time in ages.

**Chapter 9: **

**Fighting Temptation**

Miroku woke with a weight on his shoulder. He shifted not remembering that Sango was leaning against him. He heard her sigh and turned to her.

"My Sango, you finally give in to me." He said to himself not expecting an answer. "Don't even houshi."

_Not even while she's asleep can I claim her as mine." _

He sighed as she sat back up and yawned, stretching her arms over her head. Then she suddenly remembered why she was sleeping there in the first place.

"Did Inuyasha and Kagome come back yet?" She said looking around and when seeing neither her eyes turned back to him. "They didn't did they?" Miroku just shook his head as she slowly got up and made her way out the door. Miroku, followed behind making sure not to wake Shippou and Kirara.

Stepping out the hut Miroku came to stand beside a worried Sango.

"They'll be fine. Kagome is a strong girl and Inuyasha…well Inuyasha is just Inuyasha. They will be fine." He said putting an arm around her shoulders. For the first time his perverted thoughts far from his mind.

_Inuyasha, what have you done this time?_

Kagome woke with a start as she heard the calming sounds of the morning. The sun had not rose but a few minutes before casting oranges and yellows with a little red mixed in across the sky. Closing her eyes she yawned, her arms and legs stiff. The pain still lacing her body letting her know to take it easy. What she hadn't noticed was the softness underneath her that shouldn't have been there.

Suddenly realizing where she was and who she was still with she looked around. Then she felt something underneath her shift. She epped and tried to pull away but the firm arm that she hadn't noticed was there tightened it self around her waist. Not thinking she pulled her hand back and slapped the nearest thing to her…..Sesshoumaru. Hearing a muffled grunt Kagome turned toward the sound only to be met with angry golden orbs.

"Uh….Hi Sesshoumaru." She said giving an awkward smile. He didn't smile back, but she hadn't expected him to either. It seemed whatever had caused him to share the night before was gone, leaving her with the normally stoic Sesshoumaru she was used to. He looked down between them where his arm was still around her waist then pushed her up to her feet. She stumbled a bit then turned on him, pressing her fists to her hips.

"What was that for? You could have at least a warned me." Sesshoumaru just stood, pulled back on all of his clothes and attached his swords and armor before starting toward the west.

"Wait? You can't just walk away." She pushed herself up through the pain and gathered her damaged outfit. She could still feel the tingle from the slight poison Sesshoumaru had put into her to seal her wounds the night before. Ignoring it she pulled her bloodied clothes on and came up beside him. She went to grab his arm but before she had even touched him he had snatched her hand from the air.

"Don't touch me Miko." His grip was rough, she was sure that she would find a forming bruise there if she watched over the next few minutes. When he let go she just stared after him as he continued to walk on. She didn't move to follow but she did turn to go the opposite way. That is until she heard a growling noise from in the forest next to her.

"Ah, human…you will do." Came a rough voice.

_Stupid Sesshoumaru, leave me to my death will he. _

Before she even turned around she could feel the demon energy. She almost didn't want to turn around as she blinked as if to clear her eyes.

_What the hell is this thing?_

"Yes, you will do. Not what I would have chose but good enough." Kagome stiffened when the strange youkai moved toward her. All that was going through her mind was where Sesshoumaru was when she needed him and why he had chickened out on her.

Suddenly she turned shifting her aching body around the strange demon that she couldn't put a name to. It was some six feet taller than her and was steady looking down at her with lust. Her anger spiked and she dropped to the ground at the same time kicking her leg out to trip it to the best of her abilities which only caused pain to her own leg.

_He's right, if I keep this up anymore I will end up killing myself._

She didn't have time to think on it though as it fell to the ground with a thud. She lifted herself shifting her weight to her left leg. She didn't know where her arrows were, she must have lost them the night before and her Miko energy was too low to help her at this point and too much hand to hand fighting could hurt her further. He considered the daggers at her thighs but she would have to get too close for that and she didn't want a repeat of the dragon. While he was down she tried to run for the forest but before she could get too far she felt a slimy tail wrap around her causing her arms to be trapped against her. Using his tail he brought her up to his face and pushed her hair behind her ear.

"Ah, Miko, You have no chance of getting too far. You have no one here to protect you." The smile it gave made her shiver with what he could do to her. A tear slid down her face as she was thrown to the ground. She let a cry escape her as her shoulder took the full impact.

He was instantly kneeled over her to keep her from moving away. His tail now wrapped around her wrists keeping them above her head.

"Get off!" Kagome yelled. She tried moving as much as she could to make it harder for him. It seemed to have no affect. Her head was forced to the side and the demon slammed her head into the ground.

"I think it would be better for you if you keep your mouth shut. Don't you?" Its voice was sickeningly calm compared to the sound that she had been making for the last five seconds. She made herself stop, she wasn't going to be seen crying like a baby. She still had a little pride to keep no matter what happened. Her tears stopped, her features turned cold. Her expression turned to one of uncaring. At that the demon above her got frustrated.

"Aren't you afraid miko?" When he got no answer he went to slash his claws across her stomach but was stopped when she started to glow. The jewel she carried around her neck lifted slightly from her neck and her eyes turned a blue color as if something had taken her over. He lifted himself off of her as he started to feel heat burning him from the inside out.

Kagome must have been able to feel the energy for right when the demon went up into flames a scream erupted from her throat. Then everything went silent. Slowly all the bruises and wounds started to heal themselves. Kagome lifted one of her arms to her face as she lied there on the ground and watched the marks there disappear instantly.

When she knew that it was all over she lifted herself to a sitting position and looked herself over. Even lifting her top to reveal her now undamaged sides. She rolled her shoulder and was amazed when the lightest jostle didn't send pain surging through her.

"Everything has disappeared ." She spoke softly to herself. She jerked her head up when the sound of more leaves being moved came to her ears. She braced herself for what she thought was to come. This time she was ready. Then was relieved and angry when she saw Sesshoumaru come through the trees. His expression still unreadable.

"Where the hell were you at when I needed you?" The words left her mouth without her thinking.

"Miko? Do you think I would stick around when I knew that was coming?"

"Don't tell me you were afraid."

Sesshoumaru glared at her with irritation. He had come to stand right above her as she struggled to her feet.

"Your anger and pain has been building up since we first found you. If I had stayed you would have let all your energy out all at once incinerating any youkai within reach of you.. Whether or not that low demon had come or not, you would have been safe either way." Kagome just stared at him. "What is it Miko?" His eyes letting her know she was irritating him.

"You knew that I would do that? You knew that I would eventually build up so much energy that it would heal me all together? If you knew this why did you make me go through all of that other stuff?" Her voice had rose to an almost yell causing his ears to flinch back unconsciously. By now she had risen from the ground to stand right in front of him. Which did nothing but remind her how much smaller she was compared to him, but this didn't stop her from trying to make a stand.

"I see you have gotten your energy and spunk back." The statement was said so calmly that she didn't know if he was making fun of her or giving her a compliment. To keep from getting angry she told herself it was the second.

Without warning Sesshoumaru started walking leaving her once again in her thoughts. This time of course she followed not wanting to have the same thing as last time happen again. She didn't know where he was going but she had to admit even his company was better than none at all. Though she wasn't sure how much more company he would be.

_This is going to be a long trip. _She thought to herself as she looked ahead pass Sesshoumaru to see where they were. All she could see was mountains of hills and a lot of flat land and forests covering the path they were to travel.


	10. Scent Of Doom

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Inuyasha.

**Recap**: The jewel she carried around her neck lifted slightly from her neck and her eyes turned a blue color as if something had taken her over….If you knew this why did you make me go through all of that other stuff?" …._This is going to be a long trip. _

**Chapter 10:**

**Scent of doom**

Sango and Miroku glanced up from their soups as Inuyasha finally dragged himself through the door almost a week and a half later. Sango glowered in his direction before putting her bowl down to rush him.

"You! What have you done?" She poked him in his chest. "Do you even know that Kagome followed you?" She said shoving him back out the door. "Did you ignore her scent all together?" She went to shove him again but he caught her hands roughly.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Tears started to gather in her eyes but she pushed them back.

"Kagome followed you when you went after Kikyou, she hasn't been back. It's all your fault! Do you think before you act?" She said raising her hand to slap him. Miroku caught her hand and spun her around to face him.

"Sango." He said calmly. "Inuyasha was obviously busy…" Miroku frowned over her shoulder at him. "…but he's not responsible for Kagome running off, though he might have contributed, she wouldn't have ran off too far." Inuyasha looked dumbfounded.

"Kagome followed me?" His face paled. Sango glanced at his pale face and more tears built up. She pushed past him without saying another word. Inuyasha looked at Miroku.

"You have to believe me, I didn't mean for her to follow me, I didn't mean for her to see…" Miroku held up a hand to stop him.

"You never mean anything when your doing it. You don't think Inuyasha." Miroku moved to follow Sango but paused at the door.

"You mated with her didn't you? You marked her." Inuyasha stayed silent. Miroku nodded and his frown deepened.

"I hope she's worth everything you have destroyed." Inuyasha watched them leave into the forest. He snarled at himself and slammed his fist into the huts wall.

"Do you really think that is going to make things all better Inuyasha?" Keade(sp?) asked from her mat on the floor. She was still sipping tea with her eyes closed. Savoring the time she had. "Sit down Inuyasha." He looked over his shoulder hesitantly.

"They will be alright, they will wait for you before they search for her. They are angry, not stupid." She opened her eyes to stab him with a glare. "Now sit Inuyasha." He finally sat cross-legged in front of her and drooped his head.

"Keade, I never…"

"You hurt her, but you know that already." She sighed as she set down her tea to stir whatever was in the black pot in front of her. "Do me a favor Inuyasha, trace her down, help where you can if you are needed, but when the time comes let her go. You have marked Kikyo as yours, don't hold Kagome back from what she needs."

Inuyasha shook his head at her words.

"I don't understand a word out your mouth old woman." Her face wrinkled more than usual with her frown.

"You are older than me boy, just because you don't look it means nothing." He stood up and waved a hand to dismiss her.

"And you looking it doesn't mean you make any sense."

"You will know what I mean soon enough. Now go before I slay you myself." He smiled.

"You've already tried old woman." He said as he left her to her peace.

_Let her go Inuyasha, you can't keep them both._

Kagome sighed as they passed the five thousandth tree since that morning. What happened to the beauty of outdoors? It all disappears when you have to walk without conversation for hours on end. She sighed again drawing a growl from Sesshoumaru.

"Human!"

"Demon!" Kagome retorted.

"You will do well not to mock me girl." She glanced sideways at him. He had put back on his usual demeanor. His features stern and cold to look at. Not to mention with his armor and swords back on he looked dangerous. But she could remember how he was last night, without it all he didn't seem to tough, most of the bulk was armor though there was no mistaking his power. He had been almost nice to her before, he almost acted like he cared. She wanted to be angry at him, but though he could feel her energy, she did realize that there was no way for him to know that the energy building up would heal her. Well, mostly, she had realized not long after that, though it was healed, the mark he had left on her neck from his claws was still there. The skin that had healed was softer than the rest. She imagined that if she were to look in a mirror it would be paler too.

She looked up at him and remembered when he had seen that it was the only thing left. He had looked so guilty for a total of two seconds. Was it possible for one such as Sesshoumaru to feel anything at all? She wouldn't have thought so, but she had been thrown through a well into the past, what wasn't possible in her world?

"I'm sorry Sesshoumaru…I'm just on edge."

"You have no respect." She glared at the back of his head.

"Excuse me?"

"You will call me properly." She rolled her eyes but decided to give him what he wanted. Besides, what would it hurt to give him a little after taking his arm. She hadn't thought much of it before, but now traveling with him she realized the nuisance it must be.

"Ok Sesshoumaru." She said as she came to walk beside him. He lifted an eyebrow at her. She sighed.

"Sesshoumaru-sama" She said looking up at him. "Happy?"

"Extremely." He said evenly.

"Sesshoumaru-sama?" He looked down at her but kept silent.

"You will let me know when you…." She could feel the blush creeping up her cheeks as she thought about what they had discussed last night. "I mean, you'll give me warning to leave, right?" Ignoring her question he stopped and sniffed the air.

"We can rest here for now." She stopped and just watched as he took a seat beneath a tree.

"Sesshoumaru?" Her voice faltered giving her away. "Please, I'm scared enough as it is about this."

"You shouldn't be, I told you your safe." She put her hands on her hips and stared down at him.

"Well forgive me if I don't believe you after all the times you tried to kill us." He glared up at her.

"I've never touched you." She pointed to her neck and he instantly growled and pushed himself up off the ground toward her. She wanted to step back but she refused to back down. He stepped within inches of her and glared down at her menacingly.

"I haven't killed Inuyasha, and that is barely more than a scratch."

"A scratch? You suffocated me!" He growled from deep in his throat. She reached a hand up to push him back but he caught her wrist in his hand. He bent down with the intention of threatening her but as soon as he dipped his head her scent assailed him. She smelled nothing like the village women. She smelled of roses and sun, but worse…the smell of her heat was getting worse. He leaned down toward where her neck and shoulder met and took a deep breath. He could feel his eyes tinting red. His canines getting ready to bite down on her delicate skin. Her heartbeat was picking up speed with her every breath, the fear rolling off of her in waves. Squeezing his eyes shut he pushed her back and turned away from her in one swift move.

"Sess…"

"Stay here!" He forced out cutting her off. "Don't move from this spot or something far worse than I will pick up your scent."


	11. Mysterious Blue

******So a lot of the people who had been reading this story is going to be really mad with me because…well…I have been re-writing it. Yea I know that you were on chapter ten but I was reading through it and decided it needed an upgrade. So You might want to start back at chapter one…well, ok, chapter two is really when it starts changing….a LOT! I'm very sorry for changing it. I know its frustrating. I put this on chapter 11 because I know that anyone waiting on the next chapter will go straight here so I wanted ot make sure you knew that the whole story had changed. I'm sorry again.**

**Recap: **"I've never touched you." …"A scratch? You suffocated me!" …. He could feel his eyes tinting red. His canines getting ready to bite down on her delicate skin…

"Sess…"

"Stay here!" He forced out cutting her off. "Don't move from this spot or something far worse than I will pick up your scent."

**Chapter 11:**

**Mysterious Blue**

Inuyasha was still thinking about what Keade had said as he made his way across the field into the forest to find his friends. If they were still considering him a friend after what had happened. Kagome had run off before, there wasn't anything new about it. She got frustrated with him then came back a day later as if nothing had happened. But according to his friends it had been way longer than a day.

_She just went back down the well to her own time. She'll be back and then everything will be fine. As she says, she needs a little time to cool off. That's all. _

But as he drew closer to the well he knew she hadn't gone back home. Sango and Miroku were looking down the well when he came into the clearing but instantly looked up and crossed their arms when they saw him. Kirara was in her big form, she opened her mouth at him when Sango set a gentle hand at her neck.

"Shh Kirara, You can't bite him yet." Inuyasha should have been disturbed by that but he was now more worried about Kagome then he was about what they thought of him. He came up to the well and took in a huge breath of air. She had been crying. Guilt settled deep in his chest, then anger as he turned following her scent to the west.

"Stupid wench!" He growled drawing Sango and Miroku's attention.

"What is it?" Miroku asked.

"She didn't go home. She was here but her scent then leads off that way into the woods." He said pointing toward the west.

"But why would she go off on her own?" She paused to look off in that direction. "Where would she be going?"

Inuyasha shrugged nonchalantly but inside he was going crazy with frustration, guilt over what he had done. Sango's glare returned when she remembered why Kagome had run in the first place.

"This is all your fault Inuyasha, if you didn't feel the need to hang around that dead whore she would be here and we would be on one of your useless missions." She ground her teeth when Miroku wrapped an arm around her waist to keep her from pouncing Inuyasha.

"We'll find her Sango, she'll be alright." She tore away from him and mounted Kirara.

"Well don't just stand there, get on Miroku. Because I will leave you." Miroku turned to Inuyasha and spread his arms open.

"I'm going with her, but as much as Sango hates it we both know we won't find her without you." He said climbing up behind Sango. Inuyasha waited a few moments to let them get ahead before following after them. If there was any hope for him now he would be amazed. He had made yet another mistake concerning Kagome, he just hopped this time he wouldn't lose her forever.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Kagome moaned softly to herself as she paced the small area Sesshoumaru had left her in. He had been gone for hours. She had started planning a new path for her to start on

When she realized her inner compass was screwed up. She could just travel around without a true destination but now she believed herself to be so turned around she wouldn't know up if she started flying through clouds. Normally her miko powers were enough to show her the way these days but something had changed. She couldn't grasp anything. Kagome hadn't known how long they had been stopped but the shadows that started to fall over the forest wasn't just from the trees that formed a barrier above from the sky. It was growing darker.

After a while she heard music playing, which seemed funny since they were in the middle of the woods. But something inside pulled her, called to her. She walked for what seemed like only a few minutes before she came to a clearing with a sparkling pond. She could see the moon even though it wasn't completely dark yet. It cast a reflection on the water that drew her closer. The music was lighter now, she swore it had been getting louder as she neared. She went down on her knees to run just her fingertips across the waters surface sending ripples outwards from where they touched. Her fingertips growled a light blue where the water touched them.

_This has to be my imagination. _

The song faded to a dull tune in her head, it was like the pond was singing to her, only her. Kagome caught the reflection of the claw marks on her neck. She hadn't realized they were that bad. She had seen small holes in her minds eye, but his nails had punctured and sliced downward slightly leaving five, inch long scars marring her neck. She reached her right hand, with the still glowing fingers, up to surround her neck to fall into position with his claw marks. A twig snapped behind her and she instantly dropped her hand, the blue glow was gone as was the music that had been playing in her head. She sighed and turned with Sesshoumaru's name on her lips, but as soon as she turned and stared up into bright green eyes her throat tightened around her words.

"Well, your sure not Sesshoumaru." Kagome said trying to force the tremble out of her voice.

_Why can't I seem to get a break?_

The demon was a good hundred yards away from her at the line of the surrounding trees behind her. It hissed at her making her wonder exactly what it was supposed to be. Mother had always told her that if she couldn't say anything nice she shouldn't say anything at all but it was torture to keep it in. He looked like a slimy gator that had just trudged up from the swamp but his eyes were slanted and dark, its tongue forked at the ends like a snake.

"What, can't decide what you want to be for Halloween?" She knew she would regret her words but it was just torture to have a good comment and not to use it. Apparently he didn't get the joke. When he, if it was a he, more like it. When it started slowly toward her she rose to her feet and back as far as the pond would let her. When she thought of gators she thought of the Okefenokee Swamp, where all the little gators were sure to be kept away from the visitors, but this was not Okefenokee, this was the past where the word alligator was meaning a demon and Zoo's meant nothing at all. The world was the Zoo and she was the tasty looking handler.

"You would be smart to keep that pretty mouth shut, I would hate to tear it off before I get the chance to make use of it." She wanted to puke.

"If that is your idea of a pick up line you seriously need some lessons." She said taking a step back into the pond. The demon in front of her twisted its head to the side in a way she knew would have broke her own neck. It smiled and took another step closer.

"You expect water to stop me? Do you know what kind of demon I am?"

"An ugly one." Its smile faded replaced with pure anger. One day she would learn to keep her big mouth shut. But it was her curse, forever to have a smart mouth and no one to enjoy her comebacks.

As soon as it started running at her she turned and dove into the crystal clear water. Everywhere the water touched glowed a light blue and she wondered momentarily if she were the only one that noticed it. She looked over her shoulder as she swam out toward the middle and it was the worst thing she could have done. Once it hit the water it was like the slowness its stubby legs had on solid ground evaporated, its was like a motor pushing it forward faster than her arms could carry her.

Kagome groaned and turned around and dug her feet into the bottom of the pond to keep her steady. Raising her glowing hands she shot her miko powers straight at it three times. A huge explosion of water rushed up to where she couldn't see if she had made contact. The water rained down around her plastering her hair to her face and shoulders. Drops of water ran into her eyes as she searched the area. Her hands were still raised in front of her when white caught her eye from the shore. She lowered her hands slightly and sighed in relief.

"Sess…"The rest of his name fell away when he raised his hand, his clawed fingers glowing green with his poison. Fear settled in the pit of her stomach. Red had seeped into his eyes, or had it already been there when she first saw him? A splash came from behind her.

"Move Miko!" She barely had time to dodge out of the way before his poisonous whips rushed by her to stick at the ugly swamp demon behind her. Everywhere the whip touch skin the poison was burning holes through the demon, his skin was melting before her eyes. A few seconds later the stench hit her and she had to cover her mouth and nose with her wet shirt. When she finally got the nerve to look back at the unidentifiable creature she couldn't even recognize what it once had been. Sesshoumaru called her and it took her a while to realize that he had done so. She slowly made her way back to the edge and looked up to see his hand there. The same hand that just moments ago had held poisonous green claws. Now all she saw were the purple stripes that colored his pale wrist.

_Would he ever get angry enough to do that to me?_

She couldn't help asking herself as she finally took his offered hand. Once on the soft grass she just laid there. Neither her nor Sesshoumaru said a word, even the forest behind them was silent. She hadn't realized how hard her heart was beating until there was nothing to interfere with the sound of it thudding in her ears. Her chest rose and fell fiercely with her ragged breathing. A growl interrupted her peace.

"Sesshoumaru-sam…a…" Kagome paused when she looked up at him and still saw the tint of red coloring the rim of his eyes and fading into the gold. She stood and took a step back.

"What were you thinking!" He growled out at her past his elongated canines.

"That I was bored of waiting around for you." She smarted ringing the water out of her hair. All the while keeping an eye on him. His eyes were steady at the moment, the red had ceased to color the rest of the gold but she could tell he was angry and fighting some inner battle. She took a hesitant step back away from him and too late she realized it was a bad idea for right then he looked up at her.

"Sesshoumaru, you said you could handle this. You said I didn't have to worry." He took a menacing step toward her then stopped in his tracks and shook his head. It was so out of character for him. He never showed emotion, he never moved unless it was smooth and calculated. Stern and controlled. There was nothing controlled about the way he was forcing himself to stay put. Nothing unemotional about the way he watched her.

_No! No no no… He was her safe ticket. She could not lose him to something so below him as lust. Even he would be disgusted if he were thinking straight. This is NOT going to happen. _

Before she could stop herself she stomped up to him and slapped him hard across his cheek. He started growling deep in his throat but his eyes were still dark and haunted. She bit her lip and slapped him again.

"Come on Sesshoumaru! Remember me? Human, yucky! Your stronger than this." She gripped his front and moved to shake him but before she could he had had tightened his hand around her neck.

She couldn't explain what happened after that, it happened so fast. As soon as his hand closed around the marks on her neck they burned blue and sent him flying back against the nearest tree. Kagome couldn't believe what she saw. Her jaw fell slightly when she saw him collapsed, his armor had indented the tree leaving a huge hole. She kneeled down beside him worried that she might have hurt him. (Killing him most likely impossible, plus I wouldn't have a good story then)

He was breathing evenly but he didn't move or open his eyes. She noticed only a second before it disappeared the light blue light glowing off his fingers from where he had touched her.

By now the sun was already set and she sure couldn't hope to move him. She settled for removing his armor and swords but didn't move them far out of his reach in case he woke and was back to his normal self. All she needed was him angry that she moved his swords out of reach of his hand. Leaning back against the tree on the opposite side of him she held her knees to her chest.

_Just how long can a Demon like Sesshoumaru be put out? Surely not more than a few hours, right?_

She bit her lip as she looked around the tree at him.

_What have I done?_

**Inuyasha: "**Yea, What have you done it the right question." He said as the entire group turned to stare at me. I fliped through the pages of my book casually trying to ignore them.

"What the hell Jess?"

**Me: **sighing I put the book away. "I got the urg to read my own story and I thought a change would be good."

**Inuyasha:** "Its been four years. You deserted us!"

**Kagome: **"SIT BOY!" He growled as he crashed to the ground. "I happen to like the change. I'm tough and getting tougher no thanks to you Inuyasha."

**Me: **"See, problem solved, all is well."

**Sango: "**Though you managed to take our Kagome away."

**Me: **sighs..."Ok, so who here actually likes the change." Inuyasha grumbled from his eating dirt positon and sango glared at miroku as he decided. Kagome instantly raised her hand.

**Sango: **"Don't you dare."

**Miroku: **"But love." He said grabbing her hands. "This way we will have time to be together instead of chasing after Kagome."

**Kagome: "**Hey!"

**Miroku: **"You have proven that you can take care of yourself."

**Kagome: **"But you can't seriously just give up and leave me with Sesshoumaru. He might lose it soon. You know..." She twirled her finger in circles by her head. "Go crazy."

**Me: **"Speaking of Sesshoumaru where is his evilness?"

**The whole group stares at me again: "**You left him unconscious by that river."

**Me: **"Ah, yes...well then, guess we will have to fix that...Just hope he doesn't kill the writer for it..."


	12. Changing Fragrance

******JUST IN CASE PEOPLE SKIPPED CHAPTER 11 BECAUSE IT HAD THE SAME TITLE AS CHAPTER TEN HAD BEFORE:**

******So a lot of the people who had been reading this story is going to be really mad with me because…well…I have been re-writing it. Yea I know that you were on chapter ten but I was reading through it and decided it needed an upgrade. So You might want to start back at chapter one…well, ok, chapter two is really when it starts changing….a LOT! I'm very sorry for changing it. I know its frustrating. I put this on chapter 11 because I know that anyone waiting on the next chapter will go straight here so I wanted ot make sure you knew that the whole story had changed. I'm sorry again.**

**Recap: **As soon as his hand closed around the marks on her neck they burned blue and sent him flying back against the nearest tree. ….._Just how long can a Demon like Sesshoumaru be put out? Surely not more than a few hours, right?….._She bit her lip as she looked around the tree at him.

_What have I done?_

**Chapter 12:**

**Changing Fragrance **

Kagome woke to the sun shining right on her face. Opening her eyes she saw how the morning sun played across the water making it shimmer with oranges and yellows. Remembering where she was and how she had gotten there she crawled around the tree to see that Sesshoumaru was still asleep. Moving to sit in front of him she took in his facial features.

_He looks no older than me. _She thought as she looked down into his face. He was so peaceful when he slept. It was like all that pent up anger was washed away to leave a young childlike appearance. But she knew better than that, he was anything but a child. She raised a hand to her neck.

_This is why he's out. All he did was grab my neck and he was thrown away like he was nothing. What kind of power could cause such a powerful youkai to go unconscious for such a long period of time?_

She glanced around to make sure that his swords and armor were still where she had sat them. She knew he would kill her for sure if they were gone. Turning her glance back to him she leaned forward to wake him. He would be pissed when he woke up, but they needed to get out of here. She stopped her hand midair as she thought. He would blame her miko powers, but she had to face it, as much as she didn't particularly care for him, he was the only thing helping her keep the youkai off her. She still didn't know why he was helping her. She would have figured he would have let her die. She knew the only reason he had saved her at all was because of Rin. He loved that little girl, but he had no reason to stick around now. Sure she had been following him but he hadn't told her to take a hike yet.

Sitting back on her knees she considered just leaving. He was just as dangerous to her as any other youkai but she had to admit at least with him he was the only one she had to worry about. Out on her own there would be thousands. Being in the Lord of the West's company paid off to a point. So she would be protected with him, but who was going to save her from him whenever his inner youkai took control. She sure wouldn't be able to save herself and she refused to use her miko powers to simply disintegrate him. He didn't really deserve that, no one did.

A light breeze caught his empty sleeve drawing her attention. She reached out to run her fingers over the soft material before catching herself and pulling her hand back. She had done this to him. Yet, he didn't seem angry toward her for it, he was just….normal. Like he could care less either way. She knew it wasn't true, surely it bothered him. A guilt suddenly settled in the pit of her stomach. As mean and hateful as people could be she had never thought herself one of them. She had never taken anything from anyone but she had taken his arm. She hated that, she didn't even want to think how she would get around with only one arm.

A flock of birds took on in the distance and she bit her lip.

_Come on Kagome, just shake him. Do something…I don't have all day. _

For that matter she was surprised that every youkai in the area hadn't found her yet. She reached her hand out again to shake him but withdrew.

_Yea right, and get my head bitten off in the process._

"Sesshoumaru?" She whispered knowing that he would be able to hear her. When his ears didn't so much as twitch she knew that he was still in dream world.

_Sure, just my luck. Normally I can't keep a youkai down but when I actually want one awake? Nooo, nothing I want is ever that easy is it._

She frowned down at him with a glare. She just couldn't win. She touched a light hand to his shoulder and firmly called his name. As soon as her hand had settled on his arm his eyes flew open startling her. Falling back on her butt she stared up into his eyes. She was relieve to see that any red that had been there before was gone.

"Sesshoumaru?" She asked cautiously. He glared at her letting a growl escape his lips.

"Miko, I would appreciate you getting off my tail." It was then that she felt something snaking around her leg a moment before she was pushed backwards. After regaining her balance she moved to his side to stare into his face half expecting his eyes to start bleeding red again.

"Miko, you best move out of this Sesshoumaru's space."

"You feel ok right? No urge to turn all evil youkai on me?" She asked ignoring his comment.

"No, but I may decide that your company is unwelcome."

She smiled at his blasé tone.

"My company was never welcome in the first place." Sitting back she let what happened wash over her. "What happened? I thought you said you could handle it." He glared down at her as he stood to place his armor back over him.

"I was handling it." He said shifting his arm around to tie the armor back into place. Watching him pained her and she didn't want to feel sympathy for him now. Standing she shoved his hand away and let her frustration out on the straps. She was amazed that he allowed her to do so in the first place.

"That was not handling it. The only reason I didn't leave your ass was because I'm safer with you than out in the open." She caught his hair in the knot and flinched waiting for the sting of his claws but they never came. He didn't so much as look at her. Feeling bad she slowly pulled the hair from the knot and retied it. "What happened to 'trust me'!" At that he pushed her back but it wasn't nearly as rough as she knew he could be.

"I told you to wait for one moment! Your so foolish you can't even do what your told." He finished knotting the straps one handed before glaring up at her. But it was something in his eyes that shook her.

"The fact that it got to you so fast disturbs you….Doesn't it?" Without a word he turned to leave, but when she called him he stopped without turning to look at her.

"It caught me off guard, it will not happen again." She stomped up to him.

"Make sure it doesn't, because I will not submit and be someone's play thing." He caught her arm in a firm hold as she tried to walk ahead of him.

"You will do well to remember who your speaking to." Without even a flinch she looked down at her arm.

"Let me go Sesshoumaru." When he only tightened his hold she calmly looked up at him through her bangs. "Your hurting me." At that he let her go. Right then she realized that, though he was cold and could be unemotional, he didn't actually want to harm her. It made her think that maybe he had been truthful when he said that it wasn't an Inu's instinct to harm. Thinking back on it he hadn't ever really harmed any of them. Inuyasha maybe but Inuyasha was a trouble starter, he started things he couldn't win. As much as she hated to admit it, she trusted Sesshoumaru.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Inuyasha had trailed her to the village right outside of the forest but no one remembered seeing a girl in strange clothing. Sango had yet to say anything to him other than to remind him how irresponsibly stupid he was. As far as he could tell Miroku wasn't happy but he hadn't cursed him to live his life in hell yet. They had searched the whole village and the longer it took the angrier Sango got.

"Where the hell is she Inuyasha?"

"She has been here, I swear it!"

"If Kagome so much as…"

"Your looking for Kagome?" Sango paused in mid swing of her boomerang as a middle aged woman came up to them with a stack of kimonos over her arm. "That poor strange girl. She was so kind."

"You've seen her?" Miroku asked. She woman nodded her head as she glanced at Inuyasha.

"She looked like she had been through a lot. The poor dear had bruises all over her."

"Where is she now?"

"She has been gone for over a week now. She only stayed two days. She threw her clothes in the fire and made her a new outfit. She looked like she was made to fight. That look in her eye, she was so determined. I told her she could stay, that I would pay her but she wasn't interested. She said she couldn't stay, that she had to move on." Sango glanced up at Miroku.

"That doesn't sound like Kagome."

"She was kind of out of sorts when she stumbled by my shop. She bought her some boots and two daggers and left."

"So she was alright when she left?"

"She was bumped up a little but she had a strong spirit. She wanted to go home, but said she had something she had to take care of first."

"That stupid wench! She's went after the jewel shards on her own." Inuyasha growled. Worry crossed Sango's face.

"Its alright Sango. I'm sure Kagome will be fine, she's a smart girl." Miroku said turning back to the lady. "Do you know which direction she went?"

"She moved in the direction of the west."

"Why would she go that way?" Sango asked.

"Because, it's the only place we haven't looked for the shards yet. We were attempting to stay clear of your brother but it seems she's willing to step into the lair in order to get home."

"If your friends of Kagome I'll offer you a place to stay for the night." Miroku smiled charmingly at her.

"Your too kind, but we best be on our way." He bowed his thanks and turned back to his friends.

"We have a direction, lead us Inuyasha." He didn't need to be told twice. He instantly lifted his head to the sky searching for her scent. They followed him at full speed for days until he came to a hot spring and skidded to a halt. Sango and Miroku could hear him growling before they even touched the ground.

"What is it Inuyasha?"

"Sesshoumaru has her."

Turning his head he tried to catch her scent again, he moved to follow her but hesitated.

"Her scent has changed. Only a small portion of it is what it used to be."

"Is it altered or changed?"

"Its changed completely."

"What would make that happen." Sango asked.

"The only time I have ever heard of this was if the persons aura or energy had been changed. But for that to happen…" Miroku paused when Inuyasha interrupted him.

"She would have to have taken someone else's aura into her."

"Damn it!"

"But she's still alright right?"

"She was still alive but…she's in heat." Confusion clouded them.

"You've never mentioned that before."

"I've never had reason to." He snarled. "She was always safe with our group."

Without anymore hesitation he took off leaving them to follow behind. If he didn't find her they would never forgive him, he would never forgive himself.

**Kagome: **"Whoa whoa whoa...hold up! What is this about my aura being changed?" She says throwing her hands to her hips.

**Inuyasha: **"Forget that, my brother is going soft!" Sesshoumaru glares up at Inuyasha on the branch up in a tree.

**Sesshoumaru: **"This Sesshoumaru is not going soft."

**Inuyasha: **"Looks like you were to me." He relaxes back against the tree and crosses his arms. Suddenly the tree shivers and he falls right out onto the ground near Sesshoumaru's feet. "You Bastard!"

**Sesshoumaru: **"I have no clue what your ranting about." Says calmy moveing to join the laughing group.

**Me: **"You two seriously need to stop fighting." They both turned growls her way. "Whatever" I say waving them off. "You will see soon. I have evilness planned for you two. Muahahahahaha!"


	13. Unexpected Trust

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters.

**Recap: **Turning his head he tried to catch her scent again, he moved to follow her but hesitated.

"Her scent has changed."…"The only time I have ever heard of this was if the persons aura or energy had been changed. But for that to happen…" Miroku paused when Inuyasha interrupted him.

"She would have to have taken someone else's aura into her."

**Chapter 13: **

**Unexpected Trust**

As another day fell to night Kagome watched her companion from across the fire. He had kept her downwind ever since the day before. She couldn't blame him, he had thought he was so above such menial indulgences but it seemed that even a lord could be wrong. Breaking a branch from a nearby tree she poked at the fire from her spot on the ground all the time keeping a watchful eye on Sesshoumaru just in case. She found herself getting lost in the flames more often than not since she had wondered off on her own. Thinking about what she would do once everything was said and done. What would happen to her powers? Turning her hand over to stare at her palm she could feel her own energy surging through her fingers. But it had gotten stronger as of late. She couldn't explain it but something was different. Furrowing her brows she tightened her hand into a fist. When had things become so trivial? When had this whole mission become so unnecessary. It felt more and more like she was doing it for nothing. Naraku was dead, that had been their whole goal in the first place right? So why was she still risking her life to find the last few shards? Just to say it was complete, just to say she had accomplished something. Is that really what she wanted anymore?

Dropping the stick she stood up. Looking down at herself she sighed. She needed to make some repairs. Her only outfit was dirty and hole ridden, but she hadn't had that many options. She could feel Sesshoumaru watching her out of the corner of his eye as she made her way to the edge of the area they were in. They hadn't spoke much, not that he really held up much of a conversation anyway, but she missed having someone to talk to. Though he was around and she didn't feel quite as lonely she still felt…alone.

"What bothers you so Miko?" She turned her head slightly toward his voice so that the glow from the flames illuminated half of her face. She desperately wanted to be able to tell him her thoughts. If only to get them out in the open, but she knew that he wouldn't understand. He would see her as weak, just as all humans were to him. So, instead of spilling her heart and soul to him she closed her eyes against her thoughts.

"Nothing." She said moving out of range of the fire. "Nothing at all."

Sesshoumaru watched her leave. He had a pressing urge to keep her from doing so but he growled and pushed it down. He'd be damned if he let something so small control him. But it wasn't small, he knew all too well what it would do to him to go against his instincts. Just as he had told her to simply submit to keep from being hurt, he could very easily suppress his instinct to have her long enough for it to be a danger to her anyway. To be honest with himself, he didn't know why he was even still with her. He could have left anytime in the last twenty-four hours but he found her curious. All those years he had pushed her out of the way and thought of her as nothing more than a dirty human his half breed brother had claimed, but he realized now that she had been held back. There was much more to the girl than her miko powers. He roamed his memory of her but she had always been on the sidelines. A clumsy girl with inappropriate clothing. Now she was more rational, solemn. Something had happened to take away the joy that once consumed her. For some reason that disturbed him. Growling at himself for such feelings he stood up to follow her when she hadn't returned after a few moments. He could easily find her scent and follow it. He wasn't worried about her, but his youkai was drawn to her. It soothed him to at least see her. Though it didn't help much to keep him in control. He had never struggled with his inner self so much over a female in heat. He could easily sweep it aside as nothing more than an annoyance but this was infuriating. He couldn't concentrate.

He stopped when he caught site of her sitting on a small bank of a stream. She had pulled off her top and was fixing the holes that had been made over the days of her travels. Her legs were crossed in front of her with her fingers swiftly mending the material. She had learned a lot with her time here. After a moment she paused in her movements and looked up at the stream in front of her as if waiting for something.

"If your going to watch me you might as well come sit down." She finally said. His eyebrows lifted at that. Without a word he came to stand a few feet behind her. When he didn't move to sit down she went back to her clothes. She slanted her eyes his way when he shifted behind her as her fingers continued to sew the material closed. A smirk curved her lips when he finally took a seat beside her. After he had settled she glanced up at him.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"You just did." She frowned momentarily but relaxed her shoulders.

"Why do you hate humans so much?" He was silent so long she didn't think he would answer her. She had given up when he finally spoke.

"I don't." He said softly. If she didn't know better she would think him sad. At his light tone she stopped what she was doing to look at him, really look at him. He was watching the ripples form in the stream. She couldn't see it but she knew he could.

"But you think them below you."

"I think a lot of creatures are below me." He said shifting his gaze toward her. "Just happens most humans aren't worth the respect." She didn't comment as she tore her eyes away from his to study her mended clothing.

"Miko?" She couldn't help but look back up at him at his questioning tone but he was back to looking elsewhere. "Why have you run away from my brother?" She was going to brush his question off like she had before but he wasn't commanding it of her like he had when they first were thrown together. His tone was light, conversational. It was a side of him she had never thought to see. Never even knew he had. Against her better judgment, she pulled the top back on over her head and sighed as she got ready to tell him everything.

"I thought I knew better by now…I thought it would have turned out differently but so many things have changed since I came through the well." She paused to look over at him. "I assume you know I come through the well to this time." He only nodded. "I knew I was only here to complete the jewel again. I am obligated since I'm the reason it broke in the first place. I guess…I just thought I would find a way to make it work for me and Inuyasha but…he loves Kikyou. I was stupid to think I could compete with her." She turned her gaze toward the stars wondering if her family was seeing them from her time. She closed her eyes at the thought of going back. "After…seeing them together so many times it plays on a person. After a while you grow cold to it and….now? I guess I just want to go home. So…I left. I've grown since that first day. I know how to take care of myself for the most part. Still might get killed in the process but I'm just done. I have nothing left here to stay for. I just want it over. And I can do that better alone." She ran her hand into the altered kimono top she wore and pulled out the almost completed shikon no tama. "Its supposed to make my wish come true." She laughed bitterly at the thought. "I only have three shards left. Then….well, then I really don't know what will happen. If I get sent back home I will miss it here, but if I get caught here I don't know where I would go." Brown eyes caught gold and tears gathered in her eyes but she refused to let them fall. "I wasn't meant for this world. I wouldn't know where to start, how to live. I have no one left here to turn to Sesshoumaru. I love Inuyasha and our group, but they don't realize that I've grown more powerful. Inuyasha doesn't realize that I could purify him with one touch. They don't realize that I have killed three youkai since I left. They will never know the pain I have went through to get this far."

"Why not give up?"

"I wont ever give up. This is my responsibility. Even if I don't know what I'm fighting for anymore I still have an obligation to the jewel. I wont return to them until its finished. If even then."

The more she spoke the greater his respect grew for her. She was so much more than her friends seemed to think she was. But she had been damaged in more ways than one.

"Why are you so interested in me?" She asked switching the topic over to him.

"That's my business alone Miko." She ground her teeth at his answer.

"And I'm the infuriating one." She said moving to her feet. Up until that moment the air had been still, calm. But as she stood the light breeze carried her scent to him. He squeezed his eyes shut but couldn't get a good grasp on himself. Before he knew what he was doing he was up off the ground.

She knew the moment he started slipping by the way the aura around him changed. When his youkai started trying to take over it altered his energy, it grew in size until she thought it would take her breath. This was for every youkai, but she had forgotten just how powerful Sesshoumaru was. Turning she came face to face with the red rimmed eyes of Sesshoumaru. She noticed how the red had bled a little farther than it had the last time and she figured it would only get worse every time he was struck. She took a fearful step back but he followed her step for step. When he grabbed her arm she let a whimper escape through her lips and to her surprise his grip loosened. His cheek brushed against hers and a sound something like a purr vibrated against her neck tickling the skin there. She raised her hands up against his chest to push him away but a light growl against her ear stopped her.

"Sesshoumaru." She whispered as he took a strand of her hair and lifted it to his nose. She forced herself to remain completely still as he ran his clawed fingers through her hair and across her cheek. Her whole being told her to run but a small, tiny part of her wanted to see just what would happen. As long as she stayed calm he wouldn't hurt her on purpose. She trusted his word. He had told her that his instincts were to be gentle and she trusted that he was telling her the truth. Maybe if she stayed he would pull himself out of it and she wouldn't have to use her miko powers.

She shivered as his fingers traced over her lips and down the column of her throat. When his fingers traced over the marks on her neck this time they didn't throw him back but his movements faltered. Another second later he pulled his hand back and she watched as his eyes slowly cleared right in front of her until they were completely gold again. They stood like that for a moment until he took a step back away from her.

"Thank you miko." He said his voice low. Confusion racked her. She shook her head trying to comprehend why he would be thanking her.

"For what?" She asked as he turned to leave back toward the fire. He stopped to look sideways at her, his golden orbs holding hers.

"For trusting me."


	14. Teach Me How

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters.

**Recap: **"Thank you miko."… She shook her head trying to comprehend why he would be thanking her. "For what?" …"For trusting me."

**Chapter 14:**

**Teach Me How**

The events of that night faded into the past as the next day started and they once again set to their path. Kagome wasn't foolish, she knew they were still in the west. From there she wasn't sure where he was going. He just seemed to wonder around watching out for his land. Following him was actually interesting in itself. While she was with him she could lose herself in the sights around her without worrying about what monster was around the next tree. Between her powers and his they would sense anything coming up on them so for the first time she could relax. That night had been a turning point. Up until the moment his eyes turned back to normal she hadn't been sure that he would pull himself back out. She would have beat herself if he hadn't, but as it was that small part of her had been right to trust in him. She still didn't know why she had, but he had thanked her for it. The Lord of the West, Sesshoumaru, had thanked her for trusting him. She never in a hundred years would have seen it coming. It made her wonder just how often it happened. He made it seem like she had been the first to trust him in a long time. Though she could believe that since he didn't let people in all that often. Technically he hadn't let her in either but he had been more conversational than she had ever seen him. He was still hard to read but it was the nights when he was watching her as she did small menial things that she would catch that look of respect in his eyes. Like somehow she had managed to get into his good graces and she had yet to figure out how she had done it.

Lately she had the feeling she was being watched. She knew it wasn't the gang but she did know that by now Inuyasha and the gang would have been looking for her. But there was no way what she felt was them, they would have made themselves known. Sesshoumaru felt it too. She would catch him looking behind them. But if he knew who it was he never said anything. She knew he could feel Inuyasha getting closer as well. After she had told him her ideas on why she left he hadn't mentioned Inuyasha again. It had been a silent agreement to not bring it up and she was perfectly happy that way. But she knew sooner or later she would have to face them because though they were moving, they were leisurely about it. Though she wasn't complaining, she knew Inuyasha would easily catch up with them in another day or so. She would need to start thinking of what she would tell them. How she would go about explaining how she had ended up here. Inuyasha would surely try and get her to come back. He would assume Sesshoumaru had taken her against her will.

Looking ahead of her at Sesshoumaru's back she thought about how much of a hassle that would be. Things had changed and she didn't want them to fight over something so stupid as Inuyasha mouth. At least not with his arm missing. Lately she had been feeling bad for him.

"Sesshoumaru?" His answer was a slight tilt of his head in her direction as he walked. No one but her would have noticed it. When she had nothing better to do than watch and analyze she learned the slightest movements, the simplest nods mean something different to him. "Can I ask a favor of you?" He didn't answer but she knew he was still paying attention by the way his pointed ear twitched. "I want you to teach me how to fight." At that he suddenly stopped in his tracks.

"Why?"

"What do you mean why?" She asked resting her hands on her hips.

"Why should I teach you?" He was looking for a reason. She really didn't have one. There was no reason that she could think of for him to help her. She didn't have anything he wanted, she didn't have anything to give him. Looking at his face she knew he was waiting for her answer so she did the only thing she could. She told the truth.

"There is no good reason for you to help me. I have nothing to give you in return. And I know there is nothing I could say to persuade you." She bowed her head slightly in respect. "Even if there was something I could give you we both know it wouldn't matter." He lifted his head higher at her answer.

"Look at me miko." Glancing up at him she saw his eyes scan her face. By now she knew this was more for show, he had already made up his mind the moment she asked the question. "We will start in the afternoons." A smile lit up her face as he turned to continue walking. She had no idea what she was getting into until they stopped early and he looked her up and down.

"I suggest you go alter your attire to train. You don't need any extra material floating around." She quirked an eyebrow up at him as she looked over his own choice of clothing.

"Don't argue with me miko. Until you are trained well enough to work around the flow I want nothing in your way."

"I've already altered this kimono enough. I'm not ruining it by…hey!" She yelled as he came up to her and tore the whole bottom half of her top away leaving her abdomen exposed. She watched the light blue material fall to the ground before turning a glare on him.

"Was that really necessary?"

"You are on my time, do you want to be taught or not?" If she weren't too old to throw a tantrum she would have. Right there in the middle of the forest. He shed his armor, which alone showed her his respect for her. Who had she ever known him to shed his armor for? He surprised her when he unsheathed his youkai sword Tokijin and offered it to her. She hesitantly took it from him as he lifted Tenseiga.

"This way I wont be able to kill you." She sneered at his words.

"Lucky me your so thoughtful." She lifted the sword in her right hand testing its weight. It was lighter than she thought it would be. She twisted it around her letting herself get the feel of it. She wasn't an expert with swords but she knew a little from watching Inuyasha, like what not to do.

"What now?" She asked cutting the sword through the air. She paused in her movements when she caught him studying her. As if making a decision he stepped back into a defensive position.

"Come at me miko." She grasped the sword with both hands. She hesitated thinking about how hard it would be to fight with just one arm.

"What are you waiting for? You would have been dead by now."

"I know. I just…"

"Stop wasting my time miko and come at me." He growled. Taking a deep breath she settled herself and rotated the sword in her hand. She charged at him with all her strength and before she could get a few feet he had knocked her sword to the side. A thin line formed on her cheek and disappeared instantly. She raised her hand and wiped the drop of blood that had escaped off with her fingers. Glaring up at him he stepped back to retake his position.

"The pain may not stay but you will feel every cut." Now frustrated, she retrieved the sword and tried a different approach. So she wasn't going to feel bad about his arm anymore, he could obviously get around well enough without it. At this rate she would only end up with bruises and very little to show for it. She watched him but he just stared at her, daring her to attack him again. She wouldn't let him get the best of her. So she was thinking too much like Inuyasha, she didn't have very many role models where the sword was concerned. Taking a deep breath she gripped the sword in front of her with both hands. She charged him again, this time feigning right as his sword move to throw her again. For an instant she thought she had done something right, that is until she was flat on her back in the dirt with his blade tapping the side of her neck.

"What the hell Sesshoumaru!" She exclaimed. She tried to reach for her sword but her fingers barely brushed the handle as Tenseiga pressed farther into her collarbone.

"Your not concentrating." Giving up on retrieving her sword she glared up at him.

"I can't win against you and you know it. Your always going to be faster and stronger than me." He tapped the cold metal against her neck again before stepping back and sheathing his sword.

"It matters not miko how strong or fast your opponent is if you can see their next move. You must concentrate. Think before you act." He said firmly like a mother scolding her child.

"I thought I was thinking." She mumbled pushing herself up off the ground.

"You need basic training."

"No shit." She said snidely forgetting who she was talking to. Lucky for her he ignored her. "Why did you even give me the sword, you knew I didn't know how to use it."

"I wanted to see what you would do. Test you to find your weakness. Now your real training will start."

True to his word, the rest of the afternoon was spent with him constantly pushing her limbs into the right positions. He showed her the proper way to hold the sword and how to position her feet so she wouldn't easily be knocked back. She went through the movements a million times as she attacked thin air. By the time the sun had fallen below the trees her body ached and sweat soaked her skin. She fell to the ground and rested Tokijin over her leg.

"I'm going to hurt tomorrow." She said absently running her fingers down the side of the blade.

"You did well miko." She looked up at him and smiled. She had never been so proud of herself. Finally someone was willing to teach her to fight and he actually appraised her. She held onto that smile as she wiped her hand across her forehead to push her bangs out of her eyes.

"Guess I'm not completely useless like everyone thinks I am." He didn't reply as he took the sword from her and sheathed it at his hip with Tenseiga. Looking down at herself she cringed. Dirt caked her skin and clothes, or what little was left of her clothes anyway.

"You owe me a shirt, you know that right." She said getting to her feet. "Is there a hot spring around here?"

He tilted his head slightly to point her in the right direction. Brushing off what dirt she could from her arms she started in that direction.

"I know you will end up following me, so at least let me know your there when you decide to check on me. She called over her shoulder as she disappeared.

He narrowed his gaze in her direction. She was too perceptive for a human. She saw things about himself that he didn't wish for anyone to see. For instance how he had been keeping an eye on her when he thought her otherwise occupied. Growling he just couldn't wrap his head around why she had just stood there. Even after his warning he hadn't actually expected her to just take it. She had even made it perfectly clear that she didn't like that idea. He didn't know what to think with her trusting him. No one had ever trusted his word except for Rin. The foolish child. But this girl, she hadn't flinched. Though her trusting him is what saved her she couldn't think it would pass as easily the next time. For now though, his youkai seemed to be content as long as she were right in front of him. Which was odd to him. It wasn't the usual feeling of a female in heat. Slanting his eyes, he growled at the way he had been acting. What was it about this girl that disturbed him so? She was just a retched human. As much as he told himself that and called her that he knew it wasn't true. Something about her had changed over the years. He hadn't remembered her scent drawing him to her in those years she was traveling with his brother. Not even her heat should have been as tempting as this.

He would have no choice but to keep himself on edge and keep her downwind until the week was up. But he was starting to get the feeling that it was something different that drew his youkai. The fact that no woman had ever caused such a disarray within him only drove his frustration. He just couldn't figure out what had changed about her. His eyes trailed in the direction she had left in. Without his say his feet had started carrying him in that direction. He should have left her to her own defenses already, but his youkai wouldn't let him. The more he thought about it the angrier he got. He was struggling just to contain his youkai though she wouldn't realize that. His inner youkai fought him just to see her. She was out of his reach and it was destroying his senses.

He had finally reached the hot spring when his inner struggles came to an instant halt. His thoughts were clear and calm. Looking toward the spring her back was turned to him. At the slight turn of her head he knew she could sense him there.

"Its getting worse isn't it?" She asked softly her voice just a light trail on the wind. He watched as she let herself fall farther into the water.

"Aren't you scared?" He asked curiously. Did she know she was opening herself up for danger. She was too trusting with this world. She leaned over the stones surrounding the spring to pull her dirty clothes into the heated water to scrub them.

"Should I be?"

"It would be the obvious reaction."

"I don't always follow the rules." She whispered.

Both went silent letting the creatures of the night play in their absence.

In the silence she felt surprisingly calm. Even though she knew he was behind her watching her she didn't think he was really seeing her. Not as she was right now anyway. He constantly analyzed her and himself. He had to have answers to everything but she knew that it was impossible. The more he searched the less he would find. She glanced over her shoulder at him as she wrung the water from her clothes. He seemed peaceful for the moment. Lately she had seen more emotion on his face than she ever had in the past years. She should have been scared, she knew that. He knew that too, its why he couldn't figure her out. She didn't have an answer to why she wasn't. All she knew was that he could have killed her any time in the last few days and he hadn't. She frowned as she rested her clothes along the stony edge to let them dry. Wrapping her arms around herself she wondered what she was supposed to do now. Her question was answered by white cloth floating down in front of her. Glancing up she realized once again he had offered her his outer kimono. When he turned away from her she got out and tightened it around her.

"Why have you be protecting me?" She asked softly coming up behind him close enough to touch him if she wished.

"Don't ask questions miko, just accept what is offered to you." At the change in his tone she simply nodded. She wouldn't pry this time, she wouldn't get anything better from him anyway. She watched him walk back into the darkness of the trees leaving her wondering what to do about her clothes.


	15. Disturbing News Comes In Two's

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters.

**Recap: **Glancing up she realized once again he had offered her his outer kimono… "Why have you be protecting me?" …"Don't ask questions miko, just accept what is offered to you."…She watched him walk back into the darkness of the trees leaving her wondering what to do about her clothes.

**Chapter 15:**

**Disturbing News Comes In Two's**

It was late when her clothes were finally dry enough for her to alter them with the sewing kit she had stuffed in her bag from Mira's village. After a while she held them up in the fire's glow to inspect her work. She smiled in satisfaction. "Perfect." She whispered into the night. The sound of rustling material drew her attention to the opposite side of the fire where her companion rested. It was that ominous empty sleeve again floating in the light night breeze. Setting down her clothes on her bag, she made her way to his side to get a closer look. His eyes were closed but it was hard for her to tell if he was really sleeping. Kneeling down beside him she pushed her sleeves up to her elbows as she took in his face. When he didn't give any sign of noticing that she was there she reached for the empty sleeve but a firm hand on her arm stopped her. She instantly tried to pull it out of his grasp but his hold only tightened.

"What do you think your doing miko." She didn't know what to say. When she didn't answer right away he growled his impatience as he pulled her down to him. She struggled with him to release her.

"Sesshoumaru what the hell is wrong with…you." She trailed off as she reared back to see the red in his eyes. What had she done. His growls flooded her ears and her whole body stilled. She was kneeled in front of him with his claws digging into her arm. Remaining completely still she stared him in the eye. When she didn't make a move to get away from him he lightened his hold and lifted her wrist for his inspection. To her surprise her licked over the small spots where his nails had pierced her. He glanced up at her and cocked his head to the side.

"Sesshoumaru?" She whispered. He pulled her around into his lap and pulled her hair to one side. His warm breath against her neck sent shivers down her spine. His claws skimming down her neck gave her goose bumps as he trailed them over her collarbone. She froze when his fingers followed her collarbone inside the kimono he gave her. She squeezed her eyes shut hoping her would step out of it soon but the farther the kimono skimmed down her shoulder the more her fear grew. She tried to pull away from him slowly but he only pulled her back. This was not going to happen. It couldn't. She struggled against him though she knew she shouldn't and within seconds she found herself on her back with him over her. His growls had grown harsh and she turned her head to the side as she fought to hold her tears off.

"Please Sesshoumaru." She whispered. His growls ceased as they were replaced by what sounded like purrs as he nuzzled his nose against her neck. When he pulled back she looked up at him to catch the red fade to pink then to gold again as he came back to himself. She swore she saw remorse in his eyes as he looked down at her. She didn't know she had let her tears fall freely until the pad of his thumb brushed her cheek.

"Just get off me." She said softly. When he went to say something she glared up at him and pushed against his chest. "Just let me up!" He backed off her and she instantly got to her feet and pushed him farther back. She turned as if to stomp off but then came back at him. He caught her hand as it aimed for his chest and pulled her back against his chest and held her arms tight. She went limp against him as her shoulders shook.

"I warned you not to struggle."

"You were stripping me Sesshoumaru! What did you expect me to do!" He growled her yelling hurting his ears. He closed his eyes and took a breath before sitting back on the ground with her in his lap. He could feel her go still. This time she relaxed when he pulled his kimono tight around her. Unconsciously he started running his fingers through her hair to calm her nerves.

"You shouldn't have bothered me in my sleep. Its easier to succumb to my inner youkai when I'm first woken." He said feeling the need to explain it to her.

"Remind me not to wake you again then. I just wanted to look at your arm." Glancing down at his missing arm he glanced back at her.

"Why?"

"I was just curious." She went silent for a long time before speaking again.

"How much longer?" He pulled a strand of her hair near his nose letting the scent invade his senses.

" A few more days, three or four." She stayed silent for a long time just watching the flames dance against the darkness. She moved to get up and this time she was relieved to find that he let her go. She moved closer to the fire to stare down into it.

"Inuyasha will be coming for me soon."

"Rest miko." Pulling away from the fire's heat she moved to lay down on the other side. She knew he was right, he hadn't really been able to do anything about what happened but she had been scared. More scared than she had been when he first showed up after Inuyasha when she had initially came from the well. She would be alright, just make a mental note to never wake him from his sleep again and it would be all good. She would laugh at it later, right now she just wanted to go to sleep and pray that Inuyasha and the others got lost for a little while.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

The next morning Kagome woke to a sword tapping her arm.

"I thought you said afternoons." She grumbled turning over.

"Get dressed miko, you have nothing better to do." She just laid there thinking that if she didn't move he would go away. That was of course too good to be true. When he didn't leave she sighed and pushed herself to her feet. She slid on her black slacks and pulled on her light blue top that now only covered her chest leaving her abdomen bare except for the straps that crisscrossed over her stomach and hooked onto the back of her slacks that she had made from the excess material Sesshoumaru had ripped from her. She strapped her daggers into their sheaths at her thighs so that her fingers brushed their hilts when she walked. Tying her hair up into a ponytail she looked forward to their training. She loved being taught, learning how to fight. Once she was done she moved to join him. He moved around her studying her posture. Once back in front of her he glanced down at her sheathed daggers before moving back.

"Use your daggers, they are your weapon of choice and you must learn to use them." This time he unsheathed Tokijin and positioned himself. Eyeing the demon sword she took a step back with caution.

"Your weapon is an attachment of yourself. Use them as such." He said right before attacking her. She automatically brought her daggers up to cross them above her to catch his blade. It took all she had to hold it off the whole time knowing he could easily kill her if he chose. Her arms shook as she tried to push him back. That was the first time she had seen anything resembling a smile curve his lips. She ground her teeth and pushed the blade away from her face.

"Good miko, at least you can defend yourself." He said retracting his sword to step back. For hours they practiced. In that time she had learned how to use her daggers in ways she had never known. She knew he wasn't anywhere near using his full power but he was wearing her down. At any minute his power would spike just a fraction and leave her in the dirt. But that was ok with her, it kept her head grounded, it reminded her where he place was.

His sword came down again and she rolled out of the way instantly coming to her feet as he swung it around to clash against one of her daggers. He never stopped though, as soon as she blocked one swing he was throwing another one. His blade stopped a fraction of an inch from her face. She could feel the heat from the aura he had put into it on her cheek. She knitted her brows together in frustration.

"Pay attention!" She pushed his blade away with one dagger while swinging at him with the other. He easily sidestepped her to swing his sword around at her. Capturing his blade between her daggers she flipped over it. In the blink of an eye he tore it from between her blade with a hiss of metal and drew it down toward her. On her back now she brought her blades up to protect her face. When their blades met she could tell he had increased his strength to end their match but she wasn't going to give in so easily this time. Her blades started glowing blue with her determination and shock flooded her. Sesshoumaru faltered only a second before his own blade glowed green. She could feel his youkai in his sword. Their auras consumed their weapons until it became too much. Their powers exploded pushing Sesshoumaru back and shoving her farther into the dirt. The blue and green glow faded from both of their weapons as she sat up and looked from one dagger to the other.

"Wow" She exclaimed. Sheathing her daggers she stood and could feel where the rocky surface had cut into her back. Rolling her shoulders she looked up at Sesshoumaru to see he looked just as surprised as he sheathed his Tokijin. That alone scared her more than his youkai. He never showed emotion and she didn't think anything could surprise the Lord of the West. She was about to ask him about it when a roar carried from over the trees. She could feel Sesshoumaru walk up beside her. He had donned all his armor.

"They are coming for you." He stated evenly. He could see the tension set in her shoulders. Her frustration and unease at seeing her friends rising to the surface. She was thankful that he stayed silent at her side as they approached. Her hands clenched at her sides as she thought about seeing Inuyasha. She could almost imagine him coming through those trees and acting stupid. Picking a fight with Sesshoumaru that was pointless. By not his scent was all over her and he would no doubt think she had been kidnapped. She had hoped that she would have had a little more time but they had finally caught up to her. She closed her eyes momentarily to take a breath of the fresh air. When she opened them again Inuyasha was bursting through the trees followed by Sango and Miroku riding Kirara. She could see the growl form on Inuyasha face baring his teeth at the sight of Sesshoumaru. She dared a glance up at him but he was just as calm as he had been the whole trip. So it really was just Inuyasha with the grudge after all. She knew Inuyasha was just itching to pull his sword and she knew it wouldn't take much for him to do it. Sango jumped from Kirara and the action pulled her attention toward her. She smiled as her friend ran toward her. Kagome met her halfway and wrapped her in a tight hug.

"Where have you been? I've been worried sick!" Sango said tightening her grip. Kagome laughed nervously and patted her back.

"I'm fine Sango, I swear. But your squishing me." Sango let go and took her in.

"What are you wearing?" Kagome just laughed not wanting to get into it when Sango's attention fell behind her. Looking back Sesshoumaru still hadn't moved from his spot, which was probably why Inuyasha still hadn't pulled his sword.

"Has he hurt you Kagome?" Inuyasha yelled from across the clearing. Sango took a step back when Sesshoumaru shifted behind her. Kagome ignored his movements as she leveled her glare toward Inuyasha. She didn't bother to answer him, she didn't want to look at him. Seeing her expression Sango gave her a sympathetic look.

"Your ok though?" Sango asked. Kagome nodded with a bright smile. She had missed her friend desperately.

"I've been fine, just…" She never finished her sentence as another roar from the west stopped her. Moments later Ah Un landed in the clearing and Jaken climbed down to run up to Sesshoumaru to take a deep bow.

"I'm sorry Mi'Lord. This Jaken couldn't stop them. I tried Mi'Lord, I tried. Please spare me." He was speaking so fast it was making her dizzy. At Sesshoumaru's growl she moved toward them.

"What has happened?"

"I will not speak with you human!" He said snidely. Sesshoumaru picked him up by the collar and shook him. "What are you ranting toad?" He said his eyes slanting to slits.

"R…Rin Mi'Lord. Th…They took her." His face didn't show it but she could feel his anger. It washed over her in waves as his eyes started turning pink. She shocked everyone by taking hold of his arm that was still wrapped around the toads collar.

"Sesshoumaru, this is not the time nor the place." She said softly. Looking up into his eyes she thought she had just made the worst mistake of her life until he dropped Jaken to the ground.

"Who?" He asked forcing his calm.

"Kyra Mi'Lord. She said she was tired of you refusing her your lands."

"She dare!"

"Please Mi'Lord, I'm but a servant. She just said that you rejected her one too many times and now to get your ward back you will deliver to her the miko."

Sesshoumaru turned to her then. She stared up into his eyes and shook her head slightly.

At that moment she heard the whoosh of Inuyasha pulling his blade.

"I wont let you take her for your own use Sesshoumaru!" He yelled raising his sword. "Come on Kagome we'll take you back home!" She turned to look up at Sesshoumaru, his voice so low she knew it was meant only for her ears.

"I have to get her back." He said. Only she saw the sympathy play across his golden eyes.

"I know." She whispered taking a step toward him.

"Kagome!" Inuyasha yelled but she ignored him. She had to do this on her own.

"I wont let you take her!" He said rushing Sesshoumaru. Sesshoumaru reached for Tokijin but before he could Kagome positioned herself in front of him and caught Inuyasha's blade. Shock was written on all over his face as her daggers glowed blue.

"Kagome. What are you doing?" He growled. She looked up at him with frustration, anger, and every other emotion she had ever felt for him.

"Back down Inuyasha. This isn't your business." She said evenly.

"You are my business." He growled. Her power flared at her irritation.

"I haven't been your business for years Inuyasha. Not since Kikyo has been around." She had hurt him, she could see it in his eyes. She was starting to realize that the eyes never lied but she couldn't let that stop her from doing what was right. "I have to do this. I need to do this. And I can no longer do it with you with me." She said pushing his sword back. He stepped back away from her and she straightened in front of Sesshoumaru.

"Don't you realize he'll sacrifice you for her." Without so much as a flinch she stared him straight in the eye.

"I do realize that. If I die saving her I will have no regrets."

"I bet he didn't tell you that your in heat. You don't understand the danger you are in just being near him."

"And you never gave me nor him enough credit. Everything you said about your brother has been wrong! He told me Inuyasha, I understand the danger." Anger settled over Inuyasha's features.

"You would choose him over your friends."

"You know that's not it. But this needs to end." He growled and focused his attention over her shoulder.

"I should have killed you when I had the chance!" Kagome lifted her blades and

positioned herself for defense.

"Move Kagome! I wont fight you."

"Then you're a coward! You never thought I could take care of myself." She sheathed her daggers.

"Please, just go home Inuyasha." Her voice had saddened a degree giving him pause. "This is my choice, not yours." She could tell he wanted to saw something else but Miroku set a hand on his shoulder.

"Please Kagome, will you not come back with us." Miroku pleaded. Her eyes softened as she looked upon him. She moved forward and gave him a hug and a light kiss to his cheek. "I have to do this Miroku. I have to do this alone." She whispered.

"Are you sure?" Pulling back she smiled.

"I'll be alright. I promise." Miroku nodded his head to give her his blessing. She turned and Sango was standing there. She had tears in her eyes.

"Are you sure we can't come with you. We could help." Shaking her head she gave Sango a tight hug.

"I love you Sango, you are the best friend I have ever had. All of you are. But this is just something I have to do. I have learned so much from you, but I know that you protecting me isn't doing me any favors. Inuyasha would never teach me to fight, but Sesshoumaru will. He has been. And now Rin is in trouble and I can't run away from this when he needs me." She could hear growling behind her and though the others hesitated she shrugged it off. "And he will need me sooner or later."

"Your crazy." She smiled at Sango.

"I know, what's new."


	16. Who Knew Happiness Could Be So Complicat

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters, though sometimes I wish I did.

**Recap: **"I wont let you take her!"…Kagome positioned herself in front of him and caught Inuyasha's blade... "Back down Inuyasha. This isn't your business." …"Please, just go home Inuyasha." …"Your crazy." She smiled at Sango.

"I know, what's new."

**Chapter 16:**

**Who Knew Happiness Could Be So Complicated?**

Stepping back away from Sango, Kagome moved back to Sesshoumaru's side. Looking at her group one last time she smiled. A sad smile that showed just how much she would miss them.

"Ok Sesshoumaru, let's go." Without hesitation he wrapped his arm around her waist as his cloud formed around their feet.

"Kagome!" She turned at Sango's call and gave her a smile.

"Don't worry Sango. I'll be back. I always come back don't I?" Kagome could see her friends shoulders slump and she knew that she didn't believe her words, but she played the part well.

"Yes, you do. I know you will." Kagome dared a glance at Inuyasha but instantly pulled her glance away to look up at Sesshoumaru to find his golden eyes watching her. She gave a slight nod and he lifted them off the ground leaving the others to stare after them. The whole time thinking how she regretted lying to Sango. The whole time wondering if she was really doing the right thing. Glancing up at Sesshoumaru she doubted he would have left her. He loved Rin more than he ever would love anyone else. She knew that even though he denied it even to himself. In the end she made the choice before it could have been made for her.

As they traveled through the afternoon sky she watched the trees pass by under them. She had realized a while back that as long as he wanted her with him she could step freely on the cloud and it would support her. Knowing this she had positioned herself on the edge so she could look below as the land passed them by. She had started off meditating and taking those calming breaths her mother always talked about when she and Sota were working her last nerve, but they didn't seem to ease her mind any. Her calm had been lost with the news of Rin and the meeting with her friends.

She had run from her friends, Rin had been taken, and who knew what was in store for her. She glanced over her shoulder to see Sesshoumaru staring ahead out toward their destination. He hadn't said a word, hadn't moved. She wanted to ask him where they were going but decided against it. Though he didn't show it, she knew he was upset. How could he not be. Rin had been with him for five years, that was a long time to be around someone nonstop. The girl obviously meant something to him.

"You have nothing to worry about Miko." She leaned back on her hands and turned her gaze to the sky. By his voice he had resorted back to the same stoic youkai. Any progress she had made with him had dissolved with the news of Rin. "I won't hand you over to Kyra."

"I wouldn't blame you if you did though." As the words past her lips she could feel his eyes burn her. "I would be stupid to believe you would risk her life for mine. I would willingly give myself for her, otherwise I wouldn't have came with you." When she couldn't stand the heat of his eyes any longer she looked back at him. He was staring at her in that intent way he did when he was trying to figure something out.

"You have changed." She lifted her head at that.

"So have you." She said combing her hand through the cloud to watch it evaporate through her fingers. "Then again…its really all about perception isn't it. We never really knew each other. You were always fighting us." When he turned his head out overlooking the land without saying a word she decided to change the subject.

"Where are we headed?"

"Kyra is the Lady of the East. A panther youkai with an obsession with gaining my land as her own. We will be going to her."

"So we are doing exactly what she wants us to?" When he didn't reply she sighed when she realized that glaring at him would solve nothing. "Why does she want me?"

"The closer the jewel comes to completion the more youkai and humans alike with want it for their own wishes." She wanted to groan at her luck. This was just dandy. What else could possibly go wrong? She ran away from her friends to finish the jewel shards on her own and almost died, then Mr. ice over there breaks the news that she's in heat and every youkai within miles of her will be after her for days, and now to add salt to the wound she will have people coming after her because of their own greed for a wish on the jewel.

"Why don't I just die already." She said softly. Pulling out one of her daggers she glanced over the blade. So she knew it was possible to let her energy flow through objects but she didn't exactly know how it worked. Yea she had done it twice so far but she hadn't exactly asked it to happen. It just sort of….did. But this she could do. This she could figure out without worrying about the consequences. Wrapping her fingers around the hilt she held it out in front of her.

_Concentrate Kagome, concentrate on the blade. Make it happen._

Peeking at the blade through her closed eyes she sighed when nothing happened.

"It won't work like that Miko."

"What do you mean?"

"Its like demon aura, its not just concentrating on the object. Its not like wielding your blades or I wielding a simple whip. Its putting a piece of yourself into your weapon. You must have a goal miko. For instance when you protected yourself, or when you were stupid enough to risk your life for me. You had a better goal than curiosity for how it works." Her jaw almost dropped. She swore that was the most he had ever said in one sitting. Finally gaining her composure she shook herself.

"How am I supposed to practice it if I have to be in danger."

"You don't listen human. I never said you had to be in danger. Simply picture yourself holding that power, picture your aura flowing through your palm and out the tips of your fingers into the dagger." He made it sound so simple. Of course everything was simple for him. He was the high and mighty Lord of the West. When did he ever practice or have to concentrate so hard to do one little thing right. She was almost a hundred percent certain that he never did.

This time when she closed her eyes she did just what he told her to. She pictured her aura rushing through her veins and running through her hands to run the length of the blade. She let all her tension go, letting the flow of her aura settle a calmness over her. Expecting the same effect as before she peeked through her lashes and was overjoyed when the blade glowed a light blue. That was it, he was right. All it took was her calm mind and an evenness within herself. She had pictured the blade as a part of her own arm and lengthened her aura out toward it. She was so excited that she jumped up without thinking and nearly lost her dagger over the edge of his cloud. A firm hand over her shoulder pulled her back.

"Did you see that!" She asked excitedly as she turned to face him. She held the blade out like it was her most prized treasure, her smile growing the longer the blade glowed. "Are you seeing this!"

"Yes Miko…" For the first time he paused in shock as she wrapped her arms around him in a hug before pulling back to stare at her dagger.

"Thank you Sesshoumaru. You are awesome!" He quirked an eyebrow at her choice of words as she calmed slightly to sit back down along the edge though that smile was still plastered across her face. He watched her continue her practicing, leaving him to ponder her.

He couldn't remember the last time anyone had hugged him. Thinking back he could only remember his mothers cool touch. She had been the only one who had ever shown him kindness. He could barely remember her after so many years. Inuyasha had taken all his fathers time and he had been left to find his own way. Until Rin he hadn't remembered how valuable company was, and until this girl he hadn't realized just how much he missed the kindness that had been taken from him.

He shifted his gaze over to Kagome just then realizing how alike humans were. They got excited over the simplest things. They got so enthused when they finally accomplished something. He knew being proud, he knew the feeling of accomplishment, but he had never been overjoyed at the thought of being able to do something. In his world if he couldn't do something it was a weakness. To them, it was a sign to simply try something new. His accomplishments meant nothing for he was expected to be able to do them in the first place. To them, it received excitement and joy. A happiness consumed them that he had never understood. Letting his curiosity guide him for once he turned his eyes down toward her.

"Miko?"

"Hmm?" She answered absently not really paying him any attention. That would have bothered him if the smile on her face hadn't made his insides ache to know how that felt.

"What does happiness feel like?" Sheathing the dagger at her side she turned to look up at him from her spot on the cloud. She was going to mess with him but when she saw his expression it gave her pause. She didn't know he could even show emotion but there was no denying the sadness in his gaze.

"You're serious?" At the slight tilt of his head she found herself searching the stars for answers. How could she explain happiness in a way that he would understand.

"Its hard to explain." She started. "When I'm happy it makes me feel warm, like how you feel sitting beside a fire on a cold night. I can't stop smiling at times like that. Its like how you feel after seeing someone you haven't seen in a while. Or replaying a happy memory through you mind over and over again like a broken record." She knew he had no clue what a record was but he didn't say anything about it as she continued. "Its being so calm and peaceful that nothing can bother you. Happiness feels like the sun shining across your face after a storm. Its dancing in the rain with a rainbow overhead. Its…" Her voice faltered. Her next words came out so soft and filled with such care he couldn't understand where it came from. "It's a single moment in time when the world around you stands still and all your troubles and responsibilities disappear for that one moment. Its could be an object, a place, or a person." She looked up at him then but he was studying something in the distance.

"When's the last time you were happy?" She asked softly. After a long moment he closed his eyes. She had never seen him do that. For him to have to physically steady himself meant something major.

"Before my mother died." Her stomach clenched at his words. That must have been decades ago. How must it feel to think you were so alone that you didn't know what happiness was anymore, if he had ever known it at all.

There was nothing she could say to that. What did you tell a youkai, no, a Lord, when he admits something to you that had to have been buried so deep. What did you say, how did you go about something like that?

Suddenly she found herself on her feet. If she had been as smart as her mother thought she was she would have stayed down. She would have stayed silent and kept her hands to herself but as it was…she wasn't that smart. His attention was else ware when she wrapped her arms around his waist but at her touch she could feel his tension. She lingered hoping that she would live through it. He hadn't moved and she was beginning to think that she was just making herself look foolish when she felt his arm press against her shoulder blades. Sighing in relief she leaned into him and lingered a moment more before pulling away. His arm fell away easily and she got the impression that he didn't really know how to give nor receive a hug. It saddened her to think he had went so long without knowing peace. He must have been walking around all this time letting his frustration and pain build.

He was watching her now and she smiled nervously. Now that her moment of concern was over his gold eyes burned her.

"Stop looking at me like I just stole something from you." She said teasingly trying to lighten the atmosphere. His gold eyes never left her. She slumped her shoulders and took a good look at him.

"No one should go so long without being happy. Its bad for you." With the way he was looking at her she would have thought his youkai had taken over again except there was no trace of red in his eyes, but she couldn't help seeing the reverence and conviction that had settled there. Somehow, something had changed. From the moment Rin had pulled her into their group up until the moment she chose him over Inuyasha something had happened. Her priorities had changed, and his cool stoic collectedness had dissolved from a brick wall to a thin bubble that could be popped with just the right amount of pressure.

The only thing left to consider was,

How had this happened?

**Inuyasha: **"Of yea, look at you getting all comfy cozy with the enemy."

**Kagome: **"Get a grip Inuyasha, have you not been following along. He's obviously not

the bad guy this time." She said crossing her arms over her chest.

**Me: **"OOO I can't wait to see what happens."

**Whole group**: Stares at me like I'm insane.

**Inuyasha**: "You do realize you write the damn thing."

**Me: **"Of course, but I know about as much as any reader. I just type type type away until it start falling together. I know the ending about as well as you do."

**Kagome: **Which isn't saying much since he knows absolutely nothing anyway."

**Inuyasha: **" I outta…"

**Kagome:** "SIT BOY!"

…Crash…

**Me: **flinch…"ouch…looks like it hurt."

…Faded growls…

**Kagome**: "Please continue your random typing Jess." …Sits still and waits…

**Me: **…mumbles…"Is it just me or is she a little too eager?"


	17. Just A Song Not Part of Story

This isn't a chapter to the story, this is simply something thaqt has been running through my head ever since I started writing. You can read it like a poem or read it like a song. I think of it as a song but I guess it doesn't really matter. It goes with the story pretty well so I thought I would add it in instead of letting it sit on my laptop taking up space. Might as well share it right? Let me know what you think.

The next chapter will be up soon, PROMISE!

If something were to happen

And I run away from home

Would you search for me

Or leave me alone

One of these days….

I will have no choice

but to leave

I just want you to know

You should let me go

I promise to find my way back to you

If only I had knew…

If something were to happen

And I were to lose my way

I hope to find someone

To brighten my day

To teach me something new

Show me what I had lost

By believing in you

I never thought

I would end up here

In hands ending in claws

Camping under stars

With you

Never did I think

You would save my life

I guess I never knew

That about you…

If something were to happen

And I lost my place

I hope you would show me the way

And if I make a mistake

I hope you would save my life

And show me some faith

Never once did I suspect

That all those years before

Something hid in the dark

Pushed back by memories

Of a painful past

And I have to know…

If Something were to happen

And you show my your past

Would you let me in

And trust me with the rest

They say I can learn from you

They said you can learn from me

If this is so

Would you let it be?

Show me your soul

I know something has changed

Its up to you

To make the change

Make your move

Before its way too late

If something were to happen

And your feelings changed

Would you fight them off

Of keep them in range

When it comes to

The final curtain

Will you let it all go

Or will you know for certain

Will I have to leave?

Will I get to stay?

The real choice I fear

Is if you really want me here…


	18. It's A LoveHate Companionship

**Here is chapter 17! I am on a roll. How many chapters has that been in the last week or so? lol Lets hope I can stay interested long enough this time to finish it. **

**Disclaimer: **Nope, don't own any of them, but the words are all mine!

should be putting disclaimers on their pages for receiving our hard work on their site. How fair is that?

**Recap: **"When's the last time you were happy?"…"Before my mother died." …"No one should go so long without being happy. Its bad for you." …Somehow, something had changed…The only thing left to consider was,

How had this happened?

**Chapter 17:**

**It's A Love/Hate Companionship**

It never ceased to surprise her how she kept managing to get away with things with Sesshoumaru. She swore that he would have killed her for what she had done. Somehow they had gotten to a point where she could do and say things to him and he didn't seem to mind. Almost like how he treated Rin but he looked at her differently. Somehow, in the last few days she had learned to see pass his façade and was partially able to read him. For some reason, all those years she had seen him as a monster. Seen him as an even bigger threat than Naraku had been but he was neither.

She looked back over her shoulder at him. Looking at him now she didn't see a monster. Now he was no more a monster to her than Inuyasha was. Sure she was afraid for when his youkai instincts would take over but that wasn't completely his fault. In a few more days even that wouldn't worry her anymore.

The cloud jerked down pulling her from her thoughts. Though after hours she was glad to see solid ground rushing toward them she didn't understand why he was stopping when Rin was in trouble.

"Why are we stopping?"

"To rest before going to see Kyra."

"But Rin…"

"Will be fine. Kyra won't let anything happen to her. She only wants two things and harming Rin isn't one of them at this time." She only nodded at his reason. Rin had been his ward all this time and she trusted that he knew what he was doing. He was the Lord of the West after all.

They spent the rest of the afternoon practicing, giving her a chance to work on her new trick. Fighting with him made her forget everything that had happened since she had initially left. She was free from everything, everyone.

But it was when they had settled down around the fire for the night when that loose sleeve tormented her once again. She sighed and glanced over the flames at him.

If she was going to do something she might as well do it before he fell asleep and mauled her again. But just to make sure…

"Sesshoumaru? Are you awake?" She asked.

"What is it Miko?" Without replying she got up and moved to kneel by his side. His eyes scorched her but she was trying to concentrate on what she had set out to do.

"I want to do something for you." At his quirked eyebrow she could feel a light blush cover her cheeks. "I mean, you have helped me this far and have been willing to train with me. I just…something has been bothering me and I feel like I owe it to you. I wont be settled until I do this."

When he didn't speak she took a deep breath and lifted her eyes to meet his intense stare. At his slight nod she rolled back the empty sleeve until she could reach her fingers up to the stub that was left of his arm. Closing her eyes she treated his arm like she did her daggers. It was a part of herself, her aura would flow down her arms and out her fingers into his skin, into his very veins. She could imaging it in her mind. Her power coursing through his arm as it slowly regenerated itself. It seemed like hours before she felt the nudge in her aura telling her to stop. Sitting back she gave a soft smile at her work. He lifted his hand in front of his face and tested his fingers.

After reassuring herself that his arm was in perfect condition she rolled to her feet and turned to leave back to her side of the fire when he gripped her wrist gently.

"Why would you do this?"

"Don't question me demon, just accept what is offered to you." She said repeating the very words he had not long ago told her. At his light growl that she had deemed more playful than threatening she glanced back at him and laughed. "Don't dish it if you can't take it." Releasing her wrist he bowed his head before looking back up at her. That was the first obvious show of respect she had ever received from him.

"Thank you Miko." She gave a light smile and tilted her head down to return his nod.

"Your welcome Sesshoumaru-Sama." His eyes narrowed on her as she added the title to his name. Noticing the look she smiled. "I owe it to you."

"You owe me nothing."

"Then we are even then?" He gave her a tilt of his head and she tisked.

"Nuh uh, You have to say it." She was ready for the growl that erupted from his mouth but she held her ground. For a minute she pictured him rolling his eyes at her and had to hold back the laugh that tickled her throat.

"We are even Miko." He finally said.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

The next morning Kagome woke earlier than she had in the past. She knew this because the sun was just starting to peek over the tops of the trees as she rose up from the ground. The fire they had made was ash now with a thin trail of smoke floating from the center. Stretching she realized she was completely alone. Though Sesshoumaru couldn't have gone far without his swords. They were leaned up against the tree she had been resting against. He obviously trusted her enough to leave them in her care. The action lightened her spirits. Dusting off her slacks she lifted the swords and tightened them at her waist. The extra weight was a bother and they clung against her dagger as she walked, not to mention she hadn't realized just how long the two blades were until she felt them dragging the ground. Or maybe she was just that short but she preferred to think of them as just extremely long. Rearranging them so they wouldn't drag in the dirt she looked around. She didn't really know where they were, much less where to start looking for him.

"Ok, so come out come out where ever you are Sesshoumaru." She said under her breath. Suddenly Tokijin vibrated at her hip pulling her forward. Finally getting over her surprise that the sword had a mind of its own she allowed it to lead her. When she walked into a small clearing the sword abruptly stopped.

_Seriously? I must be losing my mind. A sword just bossed me around._

Glancing around she caught Sesshoumaru toward the middle of the clearing wielding his poisonous whip with the hand she had just replaced. She had never seen him practice before. Sure he trained with her but she had gotten the impression that it was strictly for her own improvement, not his. He was nothing like Inuyasha. Every move seemed calculated and clean. He didn't falter or fumble.

In the glow of the early morning light she could make out that they were standing in a meadow of flowers and yet is whip didn't seem to touch any of their beauty. Though the whip tore at the tree trunks it didn't melt anything in the area. His most dangerous weapon and been downgraded. Slowly, as not to disturb him and have her head torn off, she made her way toward him. At the slight turn of his head in her direction she knew he felt her there.

"Why isn't it melting the trees?" She asked curiously as his whip disappeared.

"I control the poison. Rin hated for me to kill the flowers. Its become a habit."

"So you really are just a big softy." She teased ignoring his growl.

"How did you find me?" As if just remembering she untied his swords and handed them over.

"Actually Tokijin lead me to you. Is that normal?" For a moment as he looked at her she saw a glimpse of something she couldn't determine flash across his eyes.

"Its normal for me."

"What does that mean then? She asked. "Why would it work for me?"

"Because you have my aura inside you from when I healed you." She cocked her head to the side. There was truth there but there was more to it. His eyes said it all, and in that one moment he had look….startled? Surprised?

"Is that why I feel stronger?"

"Possibly, but you have grown stronger on your own but it explains the difference in your scent." At her confused look he growled in annoyance. "When you take a part of a deomons energy into you it changes your own aura and scent."

"I didn't know that was even possible."

"A lot of humans don't, some youkai don't either. Its not something that happens often." She wouldn't have thought so. How often had she seen a human and youkai in the same company much less the youkai saving the humans life to even transfer the energy. She would have thought that Sesshoumaru would have been the least likely but here she was traveling with him. And actually enjoying the company for the most part.

She could now recognize the differences between the two brothers clearly. Inuyasha had never trained with her, wouldn't have even if she begged. He had always been brash and never really had a plan. He was all over the place and couldn't ever say what he really meant.

She glanced up at Sesshoumaru as he smoothed the wrinkles out of his kimono before replacing his armor. Sesshoumaru was the complete opposite of his brother. Yes, he was stoic and blunt but he didn't lie to her. Underneath it all what really got her was that Inuyasha would never have cared about whether he was ruining the flowers or not. He had always been in it to win it and though she had never seen Sesshoumaru lose, he didn't win to prove himself, he won because he was just that good. He did what he needed to and took back up where he left off. A battle wasn't a prize to him. And for someone of his high stature to alter his practice to suit the ideals of a child? That said a lot for his character.

"So I guess we will be headed to Kyra now." She said somberly not really ready to lose herself in a real battle again.

"We have somewhere we need to stop first."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

When he had said that they had a stop to make it was only right for her to assume the last place they would end up was a human village. So when they started walking through the entrance with the village people staring at them she couldn't help wonder exactly what his intentions were. Villagers scattered as they caught eye of Sesshoumaru though a few would peek around corners to see who she was. It wasn't normal for a human to travel with a youkai and she was sure she was getting just as many stares at he was.

"What are we doing here?" She asked looking around.

"Getting you a new outfit. I believe you said I owed you a shirt." She held back a laugh as the foreign word left his mouth. She kept forgetting that they didn't call clothes by shirt or pants. She had gotten so use to being with her group since they knew all her words and their meanings by now. She would have to re-teach them to Sesshoumaru now. Though the idea of teaching him something was actually quite amusing.

"There is a man in this village that sells kimonos. I'm sure you will find something of use here." She sighed at his blah tone. Why did he have to be so….serious. All the freaking time….She noticed how regally he walked. Though she didn't think he did it for any other reason than it was how he was raised. To anyone else he looked the part of the Ice prince, but she knew better.

A child ran out in front of them running smack into Sesshoumaru's leg, his ball rolling between her feet. Sesshoumaru simply looked down at the boy like he was a foreign object. Knitting her brows together at his dismissal of the child she bent down and helped him to his feet.

"There now. You should watch where you are going." He fidgeted in Sesshoumaru's shadow but he did stay put as she reached over to grab his ball.

"How old are you?" She asked giving him a soft smile. Taking his eyes from Sesshoumaru he held up three of his fingers. The whole while his feet kicking dirt into the air.

"Really now? I thought you were at least 6 or 7." She had learned from Sota that kids, especially boys, liked to think they looked older. They liked being treated as such. He boy smiled wide at her showing that his front tooth was missing. Her smile only widened at the cuteness of it. Handing the ball back to him she ruffled his hair. "Make sure to watch where your going from now on ok?" He nodded and ran off back to his mother, the whole while smiling.

Sesshoumaru passed her and she glared at his back. Rolling her eyes she grabbed his sleeve.

"And you wonder why humans fear you." She whispered knowing he would hear it.

A woman at a food stand caught her attention right as her stomach rumbled, reminding her that she hadn't had anything solid to eat in a while.

"Hey, Sesshoumaru, can you eat human food?"

"I do not…"

"I didn't asked what you would eat I asked if you could." She said sternly earning herself a glare of her own. She had found out that this was a love hate relationship. They loved to hate each other. By this point if he hadn't killed her yet she figured he wasn't going to. Which was the reason she felt she could boss him around a little. Though she did know the limit.

Without him giving an answer she moved closer to the woman and gave her a smile to calm her nerves. Letting her eyes roam over the tasty treats she finally found what she was looking for and paid the lady with what money she had. She saw how her eyes would glance toward Sesshoumaru before hurriedly returning to what she was doing. Everyone was so tense around Sesshoumaru. She imagined she had once been that way too.

Turning to walk beside him she motioned for him to take a piece from her. Like the snob she knew he could be he turned his nose up at it.

"Oh come on Sesshoumaru. Its good, I promise."

"Miko, you have confused me with a mere human."

"That's bullshit Sesshoumaru, I know perfectly well who you are your Highness." She said mockingly. "But you need to loosen up. I know somewhere deep down under all that ice there is a wild demon just waiting to let loose." The glare that received only made her laugh. Just thinking of him letting it all go and having fun was hilarious. But when his stare hardened she stifled the laugh.

"Just placate me for a second and try it." She said positioning herself in his immediate path. She could see the annoyance place across his golden eyes as he stared down at her. She lifted the food up toward his mouth and took it grudgingly to study it.

"For gods sakes its not poisoned, just eat it." When he finally put it in his mouth she watched until he had swallowed it.

"So? It was good right?" His silence said it all as he brushed past her.

"Admit it, it was good for being human food."

"I will admit no such thing." She rolled her eyes and went about eating her own food the whole time smiling knowingly as she walked after him.


	19. Change Is Gonna Come

**Chapter 18! Woot! Woot! So here it is, I think I should be proud of myself. This is the most I have updated in like forever. But I realize that I would be mad if the story I was reading had never been finished, so here I am. Trying to finish it as soon as possible. So I hope you enjoy it!**

**Recap: **"Just placate me for a second and try it." She said positioning herself in his immediate path…"So? It was good right?"…"Admit it, it was good for being human food."

"I will admit no such thing." She rolled her eyes…smiling knowingly as she walked after him.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha**

**C****hapter 18:**

**Change Is Gonna Come**

A hut came into view over the next hill. Her first reaction was how quaint it looked. It wasn't small but it was homey on the outside. There was grass around the whole area which was odd considering no where in the village had any greenery until you hit closer to the trees. This particular hut was built better, it was covered with metal sidings to better protect it from the elements and keep cool or hot air inside. Someone had been around a long time to construct such a home. Looking back, the actual town part of the village seemed so far apart from it. Like it was isolated. As they stopped in front of the door she couldn't help wonder why anyone would isolate themselves in such a time where isolation was too much too often.

"Should we knock?" She asked when he didn't make any other move to go forward.

"He already knows we are here." So he was a psychic too? Prophet maybe. She would soon find out because true to his word the door slide open to a young man just a little older than she with light brown hair falling against his neck. She couldn't imagine a human being much use to Sesshoumaru, though he had shown quite a few times that he didn't particularly hate them as a whole.

"Lord Sesshoumaru." The boy said with a slight annoyance in his voice. "I thought I had put an end to my duties with you." A light growl formed at Sesshoumaru's throat and she moved forward to intervene. At first glance she saw a human, but once she had sent out her senses she pressed against that familiar barrier that was clearly demon. Who was this guy?

"He told me you had some Kimono's for me to look at." When his green eyes settled on her they brightened and she could make out the slight catlike appearance of his pupil. Shrugging it off she smiled.

"Ah, you have graced me with a lady, and what a beauty she is." He said motioning them in. "Yes dear, I have plenty to go around." He led them to a back room the whole while she took in the huts insides. Unlike most village huts this one actually had furniture. Though it paled in comparison to her own time's, it was a rare thing for this world to have chairs and something that resembled couches and beds in their homes. Her thoughts scattered as she stepped into the back room. She had to blink a few times at the color in the room. There were colors that she didn't even know existed decorating the multitude of kimono's. Her jaw would have dropped if she hadn't caught herself. She could feel their eyes on her as she ran her fingers over the silkiness. The material was cool to the touch and felt soft against her skin. Coming out of the trance she pulled her hand back.

"Do you have any with pants?"

"Its not traditional for a woman, but I'll see what I can find for you." Moments later after she had a chance to look around at the different styles of the kimono's she realized how talented he was.

"Here you go, I hope this will be alright." He said walking back into the room.

"These must cost a fortune." She said taking the kimono from him to hold it up in front of her. It was a beautiful black trimmed in blue with white petals falling across the front.

"They don't cost as much as you think." He said watching her intently as she examined the outfit. "What do you think?"

It was beautiful, but the sleeves were still too long and baggy.

"Do you mind if I alter it a bit?" He looked puzzled by her question. She didn't expect that many people turned down his kimono's often.

"Do you not like it?"

" No, its lovely, but I'm not used to the clothes here."

"She says that like she's from another world." He said speaking to Sesshoumaru who had moved back against the far corner. One glance at the two of them and he realized the truth behind his words.

"Your that miko, the one from a different time searching for the shards." At the realization he seemed overjoyed to be in her presence. "There's no need for you to alter anything, I can do it for you if you tell me what it is your looking for." She appreciated the offer but she really would rather fix her own clothes. That way she would know how to fix it if anything were to happen. So she smiled and thanked him for his offer."I appreciate it I really do, but I can handle it." He didn't push, he tilted his head in respect that she wasn't used to. She had never been shown so much respect wondering around with Inuyasha, but ever since traveling by herself and with Sesshoumaru she seemed to be a little more appreciated.

"Can I at least watch?" He asked with the curiosity of a small child. She hadn't seen any harm in it at first but after sitting down and having him look over her shoulder for hours it was becoming annoying. She had ignored it for a while because of the glint in his eyes. He was genuinely glad to have her around and be able to watch her work with his kimono but there was only so much she could stand. She could tell he was wondering about the way she had decided to alter the kimono, well she was pretty much destroying it, but she was glad that he kept his opinions to himself, whatever they may have been.

Finally tired of him leaning over her shoulder she sighed and stopped what she was doing.

"You are driving me crazy, please sit down somewhere. Your smothering me." He laughed and took a seat against the wall to where he could still see what she was doing.

"Sorry, its interesting is all." Eying him to be sure he would stay where he was she picked back up where she left off. He remained quiet as her thoughts consumed her. She couldn't get what she had felt earlier out of her head. Was he demon or human? Shifting her gaze to glace at him out of the corner of her eye she couldn't see anything youkai about him besides the slight point to his ears and the tilt of his pupil. But those were small characteristics. Most youkai had tails or scales or horns or something abnormal about them to show that they were youkai. He didn't seem to have any of that. But what she sensed was completely and distinctly demon. There was no ifs ands or buts about it, but it was possible that he had done something to make his scent that way. She didn't really know the ins and outs of this world well enough to know what they could and couldn't do. Her head hurt from the run around she was giving it and before she knew what she was doing she had spoken aloud the one question that kept coming back to her.

"Are you human or demon?" Hearing the words come out her mouth she paused momentarily to see what he would say before continuing. "I mean, you look human, but you have the aura of a demon." She could feel him shift beside her but didn't turn to look at him.

"Would it surprise you if I said I was born human."

"A little, there's a but there though."

"Your very perceptive." She got the impression he didn't talk about this often. Or maybe no one ever questioned him much about it. Glancing at him she saw that he had leaned forward to rest his elbows against his knees. "I was born human, but I am now a demon yes." She was so surprised that the needle she had been using slipped pricking her finger. He smirked as she stuck her finger in her mouth. "And no, your heat doesn't effect me in the least." She hadn't even considered that. All she could think about was why, how, and what the freak!

"How is that possible?" She asked.

"There's a few ways actually. Of course you know one of them. By wishing on the jewel. The other two aren't quite as easy. One being that a human mates with a youkai. There energy gets transferred that way and effects the both of them. Allowing each the same amount of each others energy to be transferred so that they are both equal. The other, being that one slowly changing over time by taking in a youkai's aura. Which is what has been done to you and I."

She completely dropped the material in her hands at his words.

"Excuse me?"

"Its faint on you, nothing like what you would sense on me, but I can tell that there is demon aura inside you." She knitted her eyebrows together and turned her back on him to stiffly pick back up the material and start working. He knew instantly that he had just told her something he shouldn't have.

"I thought you knew…I thought…." Noticing the way her spine tensed and her shoulders set he knew he should just leave her be. He had obviously just made her aware of something that she should have been told about a long time ago. She would need the time to sort it out. Getting up and backing out the door he left her to herself to go find himself a youkai lord.

He didn't have to search far since Sesshoumaru had taken up the spot outside his home in the front so he could look down on the villagers. He didn't think he noticed the way he watched them, but Sesshoumaru was learning. He watched them to understand them, what he didn't understand was that he would never be able to do that if he never actually socialized with them. Looking from a distance was one thing, but being out in the middle of it was how you really learned.

"Why didn't you tell her?" He said bitterly.

"Ayro, have you forgotten your place." Ayro ground his teeth to keep his voice calm.

"You no longer own me Sesshoumaru. You may not like it but I can speak to you how ever I like." Sighing he an a hand over his face. "Why did you tell her?"

"Told her what?" As if he didn't already know Ayro thought.

"You know damn well what I'm talking about. Its not like you to act the fool." He automatically took a step back when his golden eyes landed on him. Old habits died hard.

"There was no point. She will not gather enough to be changed completely." He frowned at his blasé tone.

"I highly doubt that's the point." He watched as Sesshoumaru followed the path of a little girl picking flowers with his eyes. "You realize she will be angry with you." He didn't give any indication that he had heard him. He acted like he didn't care but he knew that he wouldn't have went through the trouble to bring her here for a new outfit if he didn't care at least a little about what the girl thought. He had seen the look before only once, with Rin. If only he would admit that he had a soft spot. It would be so much easier for him then. He was about to say something else when a movement at the entrance caught his eye. Feeling Kagome's presence he turned to catch her tightening the blue obi around her waist. He couldn't believe what she had done to his kimono. Thought she had left the pants mostly as they were he couldn't even start to identify the top. She had the loose pants tucked into her boots, the top hugged her chest and waist to fall in length down her front and rear. Her shoulders were bare except for the multiple thin straps that hung around her shoulders and upper arms to spiral down her arms to her hands. In her mind it was as close to fishnet as she was going to get. She smoothed her hands down the front and paused when she caught him watching her.

"Why lady Kagome you look just divine." She smiled as he lifted her hand to his lips. She could feel that Sesshoumaru had finally turned to look at her. She lifted her eyes to his and her smile instantly disappeared. She remembered what Ayro had told her. She couldn't understand why Sesshoumaru hadn't warned her, why he hadn't told her what the consequences could be if she took in too much of his aura, or any demon's aura for that matter. She had thought that they had gotten to a point where she could at least expect truth from him, but obviously she had been wrong.

"Where are your daggers?" Those words only dropping her mood another octave.

"Wouldn't you like to know." She said brushing past the two of them.

As soon as she stepped away from the hut Ayro noticed how children and adult alike seemed to migrate toward her. Though they kept there distance they seemed to flow around her in a way that he had never seen. Almost like they could sense her heart and soul. The boy from before walked up and tugged on her leg instantly bringing a smile to her face, replacing all her anger with a peaceful happiness.

Ayro shoved an elbow into Sesshoumaru's side earning himself a low warning growl.

"Would it kill you to be nice to the girl?" He said harshly not caring that Sesshoumaru could kill him. "Look at her. I wouldn't think anything could wipe a smile like that off her face, and yet, somehow you manage to do it. Why do you think that is?" When he didn't get a reply he continued. "Don't you see how much she respected you? She trusted you to be honest with her and you just screwed yourself over by doing just the opposite."

"It didn't concern her."

"Oh, so I guess the fact that her aura is running through you right now isn't any of your concern either huh?" Sesshoumaru's heated gaze landed on him then. "Don't tell me that Lord Sesshoumaru didn't know that it worked both ways. That new arm of yours carries her aura through your veins. In a way its why having her near you makes you feel somewhat at peace. Guess you wish someone would have told you that don't you?" The growl he received let him know that he had proven his point. Though he would never get an apology. "She will always be a part of you and you always a part of her."

The little boy handed her the ball to throw back to him and she raised her eyes up to where they were standing. Her smile faded slightly as she took them in but he smiled back renewing her own smile.

"Learn to see what you have right in front of you Sesshoumaru. Some people are worth chancing a part of yourself for. One day you will wish you had let your ambitions go so you could have enjoyed your life more. Don't wait so long that its impossible for you to have what you always knew you wanted." He left Sesshoumaru to ponder his words as he left to join in on the game Kagome had started with the little boy.

Sesshoumaru felt a growl form in his throat as she smiled seeing Ayro coming toward her. The sight pulled at something within him. It frustrated him to not know what he was feeling. To not understand what could make him feel so perturbed.

He looked down at his arm remembering what Ayro had said. He had thought it peculiar that his youkai hadn't just taken her already with her heat. He hadn't lied to her about his instincts but she had gotten away with a lot where his youkai was concerned. When he had said for her to submit he had meant it completely. As of now she had yet to really submit and still his youkai had remained calm with her for the most part. It had been another thing concerning him but now it made sense. With his aura inside her his youkai would have been more interested in keeping her safe and at peace than taking her as a mate. And with her aura running through him now his youkai would start considering her a part of him. If she were to receive any more of his aura his youkai would think them already mated and only worry with her protection, her heat would soon mean little to him compared to his own instinct to keep what his youkai claimed as his own safe.

Looking back at the three of them playing he growled. The scene only made him feel more frustrated. The aura ordeal cleared up a lot but there was still no reason for him to feel so…he couldn't even name the emotion. Showing how often he felt any emotion at all. This had nothing to do with her heat or his youkai instincts. This was the part of himself his father had always spoken of. He had always told him that even full youkai carried a part of humanity within them. That as hard as a youkai tried to distance themselves from the human world there would always be that part of them that would care for something, someone, when they thought it would never happen. He hadn't believe his father then. But with Rin he had started to believe, and with this girl? He could believe that he carried a humans weakness for anger. Though somehow he didn't think that's what it was that he felt. He knew anger well and this was not it. True anger was blinding and would have turned him instantly into his true form. No, this wasn't anger. But for the life of him, as a Lord he couldn't comprehend this emotion, this feeling.

Not being able to watch them play any longer, he turned on his heal and left back into the hut. His only concern should be getting Rin back safely, but if that was so then why had he felt it necessary to detour? For now he was able to remain in his normal state but she had started to be able to read him. That was something he was not used to. Things had started to change, but he knew that it was only the beginning.


	20. Getting To Know You

**Chapter 19! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Inuyasha.

**Recap: **No, this wasn't anger. But for the life of him, as a Lord he couldn't comprehend this emotion, this feeling….Things had started to change, but he knew that it was only the beginning.

**Chapter 19: **

**Getting To Know You**

It was later in the afternoon when the boys mother finally called him back to get ready for bed leaving Ayro and her with little to do besides head back home. She couldn't remember that last time she had just played and let it all go. It had always been find this shard, word harder to make it a few more miles. Improve, improve, improve so she could fight this or that demon. Kids didn't know responsibility, they didn't see evil or think about what tomorrow would bring. She wanted that again.

Ayro patted her shoulder and gave her a huge smile as they walked back toward his hut. She couldn't help return his smile. He was so energetic and free spirited. She didn't know how long he had lived, but he hadn't let his life get him down. It was obvious he had been through a lot but she respected that he could still appreciate child's play. If only Sesshoumaru could see the joy in the simple things.

Coming closer to the entrance she saw that Sesshoumaru was leaned back against the huts wall. Letting Ayro pass to leave them out front alone she looked over at him. She couldn't stay mad at him forever if they were going to save Rin, though he probably thought he could do it alone she liked to think that she would be of some use. They needed to talk, even if she did the talking and he pretended not to care she had to speak with him. It was the only way she would be able to look at him and not think about how frustrated she should be with him.

Once Ayro had left them with hesitation, she turned to look up at Sesshoumaru to see that he was already watching her. She thought she had plenty to say to him but once her eyes locked with his…she really didn't know what to say to him. Slumping her shoulders and throwing her hands out to her sides she sighed.

"I don't know what to say. I don't know what you expect from me or why I'm even still here. You apparently don't find me worthy of the truth and you treat me like a child that would lose her head if it weren't attached." She crossed her arms and looked down at the dirt that had gathered on her shoes from their play. "Just tell me Sesshoumaru, tell me what you want from me. I gave you back your arm. I'm trying to help you save Rin and find the shards all at once. I just wish you would have told me what consequences I was going to deal with." He shifted away from the wall toward her as she continued. "At times you can be so pigheaded and so self absorbed that you don't actually take the time to look around you at the world you live in."

"This is not my world."

"This is as much your world as it is theirs! Why can't you see that!" He spun her around, his clawed hands holding her tight.

"Because I don't understand it!" He said raising his voice. The emotion behind his words shocked her. "You wish for me to see it as mine when I've never lived in it. I've barely lived in this world at all. Do you have any clue what its like day after day of responsibility. You may have time to play child's games but I do not." She stumbled back as he let her go abruptly. She took a step back and his features automatically dissolved back into his calm exterior. "I'm sorry."

She had the urge to clean her ears out to make sure she had heard him right. She reversed her retreat to take a few steps toward him.

"Did you just apologize to me?" She asked but he wouldn't look at her.

"It would seem so." She stepped up to him to pull at a strand of his hair. This couldn't possibly be Sesshoumaru. It had to be some kind of imposter. His golden eyes narrowed on her and she let his hair go.

"Miko, you would do well to stop assaulting my person." Yep, that was him alright. A million questions ran through her head but only one single word replayed through her mind and stuck to the tip of her tongue.

"Why?" He turned toward her making her tilt her head back to look into his face.

"Take a walk with me Miko." She wanted to decline but her curiosity wanted to know what he had to say.

"On one condition." She said sizing him up.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

She didn't know how she had did it, but somehow she had gotten the great Lord of the West to put on commoner clothing and release his swords and armor to Ayro. He hadn't complained once and it surprised her that he had been so compliant, but the villagers were hesitant enough around him as it was and changing his clothes and downplaying him a little would make their walk a little less public. Of course the villagers would know who he was, it was impossible not to, but it was getting later and the few that were roaming around wouldn't find him as threatening. He had proved to her by changing that he was at least capable of fitting in.

They walked side by side for a long time allowing her to just take in the scenery along the rivers edge that flowed through the village. Looking back at him she noticed how even though his royal clothes had been taken away from him he still held his head high. His movements were still smooth and planned. She pulled him to a stop.

"You walk like a robot." He lifted an eyebrow at that and she had to remind herself that he wouldn't know what that was. "Your movements, the way you walk is stiff. You never just flow." She moved to stand in front of him and lifted her arms. "Here, do this." She said waving her arms around. He just watched her with that same expression with his hands tucked into his sleeves. Sighing she took hold of his wrists.

"Come one Sesshoumaru, loosen up. It won't kill you." He felt ridiculous as she pulled his arms around.

"What is the purpose of this miko?" She giggled and let his arms drop back to his sides.

"To make you look silly of course." She said with a wide smile as she moved swiftly down the path away from him. She heard the growl float on the wind to her ears but she didn't see the slight tilt that lifted the corner of his mouth.

After a while she finally slowed to a stop to wait for him. Once he was beside her she fell back into step with him. Looking sideways at him she couldn't help wondering why he would go through so much to simply take a walk with her. More so she couldn't figure out why he had apologized. She should have took it and let it go, but it was so unlike him.

"Why are you doing this?" She asked motioning to his clothes. "And apologizing?" He didn't say anything but as soon as her head was turned she could feel his eyes slide toward her.

"My reasons are my own." She sighed at his answer. She had hoped he would be honest instead of hiding behind that ego of his. Her smile faltered and he instantly felt a pinch of dread consume him. He realized that he wanted her to smile. Never in his life had he wanted to see someone smile so badly.

"To learn you." He found himself saying. She looked up at him then with a smile playing on her lips.

"You mean to get to know me." She said with amusement flashing across her brown eyes. "Why?" She asked curiously. She saw the tension settle into his jaw and her amusement wavered. She knew that look well. The confusion…

"Its alright not to know why. Sometimes there isn't a reason behind why we do or feel things." He glanced down at her and caught the hint of a smile there.

"You find something amusing." She gave a light laugh and shook her head.

"You try so hard to be what everyone sees you as. I think somewhere alone the way you forgot how to do the simple things. For instance how to hug or care, or just have fun. Being Lord of the West has iced over your heart Sesshoumaru." She glanced up at him and came to a stop. "When did you become Lord?" She asked at his solemn expression.

He stopped with his back to her. The sky had darkened with the upcoming storm but as the sun fell she could still make out the oranges of the sunset, but the dark clouds were slowly consuming even that, giving the area the calm before the storm.

"When my mother died, I had to take over her responsibilities. My father had taken to spending time with Inuyasha's mother. I was running his lands long before he died and left them to me. My childhood was lost the moment my mother died." She came up beside him and rested a hand over his arm. He looked down at her hand at the gentleness of her caress. A peace settled over him as his shared aura reacted to her touch.

"Don't you think its about time for you to have a little fun?" She said smiling up at him. He narrowed his eyes and turned his gaze to the river.

"My time for fun has passed. I have responsibilities to tend to." She squeezed his arm gently before pulling away.

"Even a lord needs a break to just be himself. And I get the feeling you haven't been yourself in a long time." She looked up as the rain started in light sprinkles then slowly turned into waves. As it slowly stuck her hair and clothes to her body she glanced up into his golden eyes. For such a huge figure in this world he seemed so small. She walked up to him and brushed the white strands from his face to rest her palms over his cheeks. It surprised her how easy it had become for her to be in his presence, it had become so easy to touch him like he was just another person even though he constantly reminded her that he wasn't.

"You live too long a life to spend it unhappy." She dropped her hands away from him when he brought a hand close to her face. He traced his finger down the line of her jaw and she saw the longing flash across his eyes. She couldn't imagine how much he had missed out on as a kid. She closed her eyes as he brushed the pad of his thumb over her cheek. Somewhere in the back of her mind she was telling herself she should be fighting him like she did his youkai, but this wasn't his youkai. He didn't had any red bleeding into his eyes and knowing that changed things. She didn't know why it would have made a difference, but it did. Knowing he was himself meant that it wasn't just his instincts that was leading him. It wasn't her heat that caused this. And that made all the difference. It startled her when his other hand combed her hair over her shoulder. She had forgotten that he had both of his arms again. He traced his fingers over the mark that had been left on her shoulder and it glowed under his touch as if reacting to him. She was going to take a step back as lightning snapped overhead.

"I'm sorry Sesshoumaru. I shouldn't have intruded on your space" Bowing her head slightly she turned to head back toward the hut when his hand on her shoulder pulled her back around. If she thought she was surprised by his new show of emotions she was shocked when he pulled her tight against him. She never thought the moment possible but her she was, receiving the strangest hug of her life. Though she really could have laughed at the sight, she felt that he needed this. He had been on his own with only Jaken and Rin so long that she doubted that he got any real companionship. She wasn't sure that she wanted to be the one to give it to him but a part of her was happy that she was the only one that had been able to put a crack in his armor. Not wanting to give up the rare moment, she sighed. He obviously meant well but his grip was tight and his claws were digging into her shoulders. He had been so gentle and this just proved that he really didn't know how to hug.

"Your hurting me Sesshoumaru." She said gently. He let her go so fast it left her feeling awkward.

"I wasn't pushing you away. Your grip was just, a little tight." She said absently rubbing her shoulder. "You didn't hug much as a child did you?" He turned toward the hut without a reply but she did catch the fact that he waited for her. She smiled and took his arm. A little care went a long way. Kids were the same way, they didn't understand until you showed them, but she would never let him know that she was comparing him to a child.

He looked down at her and she smiled back at him. This time she didn't miss the slight curve of his mouth or the way his eyes lightened with satisfaction. She was thrown by the pride that her smile gave him.

"Come on" She said softly. "Lets get back to Ayro's before this rain melts you." She teased. Of course he didn't get it, but she was laughing on the inside as they made their way back.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

On their return Sesshoumaru and Ayro left to the back room where they had been for thirty minutes now. Leaving her to stare out at the pouring rain. As she watched it fall she wondered if they had really taken this detour for her new clothes. She would have assumed that nothing meant more to him than Rin and his lands. Though she was sure that he knew exactly what he was doing, she had the feeling that Ayro was helping him with more than just a new wardrobe. Something was going on but she was under no illusion that they would tell her what they spoke of.

Looking around the hut it reminded her of how much she missed having clocks. She missed real beds and heaters and a/c. She missed home. Over the years she had started to consider this her home but nothing could ever compare. And though she loved it here, after all was said and done she didn't really belong here. Not in this time, not with these people.

She pulled the jewel out from under her shirt and rolled it between her fingers. This tiny pink jewel had caused so much pain and suffering. It was supposed to be so good, and yet, so much evil followed it.

It started to glow a light blue mixed with pink as she let her aura surround it. She had done it on occasion during her travels to feel the energy that flowed through it and to remind herself that it was something good that she was working toward. But the fact that it was glowing blue now instead of pink like it always had done even with her aura disturbed her. She pulled it from her neck so she could get a better look at it. Rolling it against her palm she saw how the last of the pink glow was replaced by her blue. She sat shocked still when blue veins scattered throughout the pink jewel. She would have thought it cracked except the surface was smooth against her fingers.

"Um…guys?" She called gently afraid that raising her voice would break it. Pulling her aura back into herself to remove the glow her worry only grew when the blue web like veins remained.

"Guys?" She called a little louder not taking her eyes from the jewel in her hand.

"Sesshoumaru!" She finally screamed when no one answered her. This time they were instantly in the doorway. The look Sesshoumaru gave her would have had her running if she weren't already distracted.

"Miko! This better be important."

"Like hell its important!" She said freaking out. All she could do was stare at the deformed jewel. "Something happened to it!" They both cam forward to look at the almost completed jewel in her hand. Ayro lifted it from her hand to look at it.

"That's never happened before. Why is its color changing?"

Ayro just shook his head as he studied it. Watching their faces she realized one thing. That neither of them really knew what was going on but with one look at Sesshoumaru's face she knew something was happening. For one thing she had learned was that concern on this particular youkai lords face was not a good sign.


	21. Sazue

**Disclaimer: **This is me, not owning.

**Recap: **"Miko! This better be important."…"Something happened to it!" They both cam forward to look at the almost completed jewel in her hand…"That's never happened before. Why is its color changing?" …one thing she had learned was that concern on this particular youkai lords face was not a good sign.

**Chapter 20:**

**Sazue **

**Pronunciation: **(Sa-zoo-ay)

Sesshoumaru took the jewel from Ayro to hold it between his claws.

"Its aura seems to have changed along with your own."

"But why? What will happen when the aura of the jewel completely changes? What are the consequences for this?" She said coming out of her seat. Ayro pushed her back down gently.

"Youkai may use the jewel in order to strengthen themselves but we don't really know the specifics of it that well. We don't know how it works, we just know that it does." He paused to give her a charming smile. "Luckily for you, I was once human. Though I don't know personally how to help you, I know someone who can." She looked up at him hopefully as Sesshoumaru set the jewel back into her hand.

"Who?" She asked looking down at the jewel.

"Sazue, she was a miko over 3,000 years ago. And before you think I'm crazy, there is a way for the miko's of the present to speak with the miko's of the past."

"How would you even know of her?"

"That, Lady Kagome, is my secret." He said shaking a finger at her like she was a nosey toddler. She rolled her eyes as she snatched his finger out of the air.

"This is a serious matter and your waving fingers in my face. What is wrong with you." When he only laughed at her she puffed and crossed her arms.

"Lady Kagome, there is nothing you can do at the moment right? Then why not try and relax. There is no reason stressing yourself out when you don't even know what is going to happen."

"Ayro is right miko. We should continue on our way and deal with your problem when it arises."

"I think the fact that my jewel has blue cracks in it is problem enough. Dumb demons with their cool collected attitudes." She mumbled under her breath. She looked up only to find eyes on her. She had forgotten that they would be able to hear her. She just couldn't win these days.

"How will I be able to summon this Sazue?" She asked chaining the jewel back around her neck, her hair tangling in the chain. The tug pinched her scalp only frustrating her farther. Ignoring her inner tantrum Ayro answered her.

"The easy part is finding a place to summon her. You have to be near water, a river or a pond will do fine. Then you simply call to her."

"Just speak her name?"

"Yes, now the part you have no control over. She has to choose to see you. She has to find you worthy enough for her to come to you. If your lucky she will find you first. There are cases when the miko's of the past will search out the ones of the future if they feel their distress. But like I said, she could just as easily ignore you." Kagome nodded in understanding. She had dealt with hardheaded miko's before, that was nothing new. But she had never summoned one. Things like that usually just found her. Getting to her feet she strapped the daggers to her thighs and bound her wrists and forearms. As she leaned over to lace her boots her hair kept falling over her shoulder getting in the way. She kept brushing her hair aside and it continued to get tangled in her boots laces. Finally having had enough she ground her teeth and unsheathed one of her daggers.

"What are you doing?" Ayro asked.

"What I should have done years ago." She said gripping her hair. Five years and her hair had only gotten longer. She had hated to cut it but it had been getting in her way more often than not lately. Cutting through her hair with her blade her head felt lighter, clearer almost. She put her blade back in its sheath and stared down at the wad of hair in her hand. Her hair fell down just barely brushing the tops of her shoulders. She hadn't realized how long it had gotten. She dropped it into the fire and squeezed her eyes shut. Now she would really be starting over. Everything really had changed. She pushed her bangs back behind her ears but a few still escaped but she didn't care. At least now it wouldn't get in the way of her blades or get stuck in the knots of her obi.

"Why would you do that?" Ayro looked more offended than she felt. She smiled at the way he was looking at her hair.

"You were right Ayro. I shouldn't worry about the things I can't change. It was time to let it go. Its time that I let a lot of things go and start thinking about what's going on right now." She looked up to where Sesshoumaru stood watching her. "Like getting Rin to safety. I will handle my problems as they come to me. For now the jewel will hold up." She ran her fingers over the jewel one last time before stuffing it underneath her shirt.

"I think its time that we leave." Sesshoumaru said from the door. She nodded absently as she stepped up to Ayro.

"You know you will miss me." He said with a wry smile. She only shook her head and gave him a hug with the promise of returning to visit in the future. She swore that he stood there in front of his hut for a long time watching them leave. It seemed like no matter how far they walked when she turned she could still see him. She got the idea that he knew something they didn't. Like he could see something they couldn't.

She finally shrugged it off once they were back in the woods. They weren't that far away from the eastern castle now but she didn't really understand why he had them walking at all when he had that cloud. If she didn't know better she would think he was stalling with the casual way they were walking. But why would he do that?

"Sesshoumaru?" He didn't give any indication that he had heard her at all. She really didn't know how long they had been walking. After years of traveling her legs could handle a lot more than they once could and she easily lost sense of time out in the middle of no where. What she did know was that the closer they came to Kyra's land the darker the forests seem to get. Looking around you wouldn't know that it was morning. Though it had been raining she could still make out the sun earlier. Now she only saw shadows. She had unconsciously moved closer to Sesshoumaru as they continued forward. She felt weird, like she was missing something. Something important. Something she was supposed to be doing.

"_Kagome…"_

"Sesshoumaru?" She whispered. "We need to stop for a minute." She looked around trying to figure out what was calling to her.

"_Kagome…you must come to me….see me before you continue further…"_

She stopped in the middle of the path. The forest gave her the creeps but that voice….it didn't belong in a place like this. It was so pure and sweet. Kindness, it coated her soul with kindness. This had to be her imagination but she couldn't stop her feet from moving off the path. Sesshoumaru had finally stopped and was glaring at her but she couldn't hear what he was saying. All she could hear was…music? Was that music? Her eyes widened as she remembered where she had heard it before. Back at the pond where that weird light had been. She instantly reached up to her neck. Her fingers and neck started to glow as she came to a clearing with a shallow stream running through it. The music grew soft when she kneeled down before the water. Here the rain got through and drops would send ripples through the water. A white glow started in the center lighting up the area around it.

_Kagome…I have been waiting for you._

The glow spread up over the bank to cover her arms and face. She suddenly felt warm. A calmness soothed her relaxing her tense muscles. Without asking she automatically knew who she was.

_Yes, my name is Sazue. And you dear child have been through quite an ordeal. Tell my why your soul has become so restless._

Kagome couldn't do much more than stare at the figure that had rose from the white circle in the center of the stream. She was transparent but it was the only thing she saw. It was like time had stopped around her. The woman in front of her had dark hair that fell in waves down her back and wore a white and blue kimono. Her eyes were filled with kindness and understanding.

"I worry that I have done something to the jewel." Sazue smiled and floated toward her. Kagome sat still as she moved around her. She could feel the heat from where she sat her hand on her shoulder but she felt no pressure from it.

_Kagome, you have nothing to worry about. You have done nothing wrong. I have been watching over you for some time and I am very impressed with you. You alone, have done what others before you couldn't. The jewel has not just one purpose as so many miko's have thought. The jewel has infinite power, if used correctly._ _Since the beginning of time miko's have used the jewel with only one purpose in mind. To protect their own from the youkai who would kill them. And because the miko's that come after them are told of this, they too use the jewel in this way. For you see, Kagome, the jewels purpose is that of the miko that carries it. The jewel only reacts to the miko who protects it, if that miko's intent changes, then so does that of the jewel. _

"Why hasn't it changed before now?"

_Even while you traveled with Inuyasha your purpose was only to collect the shards and set things straight. You never intended to grant him his wish. Even after years you never were planning to make him a full youkai. You proved this by leaving them behind to collect the shards on your own. It wasn't until traveling with Sesshoumaru that your impression of youkai changed. By this happening, the purpose you once had for collecting the shards is no more. _

"Then what will happen? What is the jewel's purpose now?" She came around and pressed a finger against her chest. The warmth floating through her_._

_For that answer you must search within. You must ask yourself, what is your purpose for moving forward now? Why would you continue to collect the shards when you no longer have reason for doing so?_

"To go home." Kagome said quietly. Sazue only smiled.

_Are you so sure? I don't think that's really what your purpose has ever been. Once you can answer the question of what your purpose has become, you will know. Your purpose is the jewels purpose. But you are confused, torn…Which is partly why the jewel is still pink in color. _

"How will the demon aura inside me effect it?"

_The demon aura coursing through your veins has a little to do with it as well. The more demon aura you poses the more your own aura will change and the jewel will constantly be trying to keep up. Though every miko is different a miko's aura is basically the same, but yours has been altered therefore altering the jewel._

_A demon may use the jewel to strengthen themselves, but they are not capable of changing the jewels purpose. Nor can they wish upon it. Only the miko is able to do such. _

_Even though your blood has been altered you will always be a miko so you shouldn't worry. _

Kagome noticed that the figure of Sazue looked up over her shoulder and smiled.

_Lord Sesshoumaru, it is an honor._

Kagome turned to look back at him. She hadn't even felt him there. In Sazue's presence she had forgotten everything but the two of them.

_Come Mi'Lord, join us._

She could feel him come up behind her but he remained standing.

_You have changed as well. As hard as you try to deny it, you can't run from yourself. _

She motioned for Kagome to stand.

_This was not a mistake or a mere coincidence._

She said motioning her hand to the both of them as a whole.

_This has been coming for a long time. For a miko and youkai to work together was unheard of, but it's the best way to win. You learn together and start understanding the other's mindset. Traveling together has changed your attitudes. You can't comprehend one another unless you are able to walk in their footsteps. _

She walked around them until she came to Sesshoumaru's side. Kagome could feel him tense as she ran her translucent fingers down his newly created arm.

_She is within you. Do you know why her power hasn't eaten you up from the inside out Lord Sesshoumaru?_

Without pause to let him answer she continued.

_Because of the aura you used to save her. It has mixed with her own allowing you to use it to regenerate. That and the fact that genuinely cared about what she had done to you. She looked at you as her equal and considered you a person. Do you think just anyone would feel such remorse. You can feel it can't you? The sudden need to protect and stay close even though you try to retain your stoicism. _

She eyed him with a warm smile.

_You know what it is I speak of Sesshoumaru. That rare feeling of peace and ease. The feeling that you have found a type of serenity that you never thought possible. Your kind rarely find that type of familiarity. _

Kagome glanced up at him confused but his expression didn't belie anything to her.

_Think about what I say Lord Sesshoumaru. _

She gave him a respectful nod before turning back to Kagome.

_Remember that I am always with you. I am a part of the jewel and will always be watch over you. Call me and I shall hear you. _

She walked back toward the white glow that was slowly fading in the center of the stream. As she entered the glow engulfed her.

_And Kagome, know that I am very proud of you. And tell Ayro that I miss him dearly._

Her words flowed over Kagome even after her figure was gone. Sazue's words warmed her and she felt like all her worry had been washed away. And apparently Ayro had quite a secret. Kagome smiled to herself. She had needed this. She felt Sesshoumaru's claws brush against her back and along her shoulder. When she turned he had already started back toward the path leading to Kyra. She smiled at his effort at comforting her. With one last look back at the stream she followed after him. Now that her head was mostly clear she could concentrate on what needed to be done. In the next few hours they would arrive at the eastern castle. There they would get Rin back. That was her only concern for now. Nothing else would matter until they had her back. She didn't know when she and Sesshoumaru had become 'they' but his comforting actmeant that Sazue's words had touched a part of him. And though she wanted to ask him what she had meant she wouldn't bother him with it now. Not when they had so many other things to consider.


	22. Winning Only To Lose

**Chapter 21! I post so often I have nothing else to say. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: **Nope, don't own.

**Recap: **_And Kagome, know that I am very proud of you…._Her words flowed over Kagome even after her figure was gone…. . In the next few hours they would arrive at the eastern castle….And though she wanted to ask him what she had meant she wouldn't bother him with it now. Not when they had so many other things to consider.

**Chapter 21: **

**Winning Only To Lose**

It was huge! She thought she would fall over in shock just looking up at it. Kyra's castle was taller than any of the buildings she had ever seen even in her own time. She was sure now was not the time to act so surprised but what was a girl to do when faced with such a magnificent place.

She followed closely behind Sesshoumaru as they entered the gate that surrounded the castle. It was barren and shadows played off of every wall. The outside might have been grand but the inside was nothing like she thought a castle should have looked like. What was wrong with these youkai? Didn't knew know they were supposed to appreciate such nice things. There weren't any flowers or trees to give the place color and it made her feel depressed looking at it. Something was off though, shouldn't there have been guards lining the place. She would have thought so.

"This feels too easy." She mumbled afraid to speak up. Sesshoumaru glanced at her from the corner of his eye.

"She wanted to trade you for Rin, she wants us here. Otherwise we wouldn't have gotten within a yard of the gate." She glanced around the inside. She couldn't see anything on the other side. It was like a stone cage. She couldn't imagine living in such a place.

She was itching to pull her daggers but she didn't know what the consequence for doing so would be. She had to remember that he was supposed to hand her over in return for Rin. She had known from the beginning that this would be how it turned out but could she really just let herself walk into enemy hands.

Glancing up she noticed how Sesshoumaru still had his hands tucked into his sleeves, but she could see the slight tension in his shoulders. He was aware of something that she wasn't. Stretching her aura outward she couldn't feel anything, at least not until they stepped up to the large door. She narrowed her eyes as the door slowly opened to reveal a room full of panther youkai. They lined the walls each of them gripping a whip in their hand. A few were in their panther forms stalking around the room eyeing them like they were their next meal. She was easily able to make out who Kyra was. Obviously she was the one on the thrown with the giant whip twisted around her hand like she owned the place. Of course she did own the place but that wasn't the point. But her over confidence wasn't what caught her attention. She instantly stopped in her tracks and tugged lightly on Sesshoumaru's sleeve. He didn't pay her any attention. And in her frustration she pulled his arm roughly down toward her. Growling he lowered his head to her.

"She has two of the Jewel shards." She whispered.

"Telling secrets are we? That is very rude Lord Sesshoumaru. I expected it from such a dirty human but from you? Such a shame."

"Where is Rin?" He growled out ignoring her comments. Kyra came to her feet anger settling over her face when he didn't react to her words.

"I believe you owe me something in return. You remember our deal." Her eyebrow cocked in her arrogance. Kagome looked over at him readying herself for when he shoved her forward, but he never did. He held his ground and never shifted from his spot. His golden eyes settled on Kyra never leaving her as she walked around the room.

"You have no more use for her than I do Kyra."

'There you are wrong. She possesses something that I want dearly. The jewel, I will have it."

Kagome looked around in hopes of there being some way out of this but there were too many youkai in the room for her to fight them all. Sesshoumaru could maybe but he wouldn't risk it until he saw Rin. Someone came up on her right but she tried to ignore it. There were too many auras in the room clashing. She had to remain clear headed, she had to keep her eyes on Kyra. She was so intent to do just that that she missed the movement behind her. Before she could move an arm was wrapped around her waist holding her arms tight against her while a sword was placed at her neck. Sesshoumaru turned toward them and for the first time he had shifted to where his hand was hovering over his sword.

"Touch it and she will be dead within seconds." Kagome ground her teeth and clenched her hands into fists. "You can't protect them both Sesshoumaru." She laughed at his growl. "You thought I hadn't noticed? You don't give me enough credit. Now be a good dog and back away from her. He reluctantly took a few steps back and folded his arms back into his sleeves. No one else caught the sinister look that crossed his features but she did. They had just pissed off the devil.

Kyra turned to look her over, her eyes trailing over her body.

"What a pathetic creature you are."

Kagome's laugh rang through the room. She knew it wasn't the smartest move but were they serious. They didn't know her and were already assuming things.

"You shouldn't underestimate me." She said earning herself a glare.

"Control your bitch Sesshoumaru!"

"She is your now, isn't that right Kyra."

Scowling at him unconcern she turned to Kagome. "You're a foolish girl. You should just stay quiet, you embarrass yourself when you speak."

"I embarrass myself? Your nothing but a fake. You beg for things you don't deserve!" Kyra let her whip fly toward her. Kagome braced herself for the hit she knew was coming, but it would be worth it. She would be able to deal with the pain because it would give her the leeway she needed to move. The whip tightened around her neck cutting into her skin. Taking a breath she threw her head back into the youkai holding her at the same time pulling the whip from Kyra's hands. As she gripped the end her energy automatically flowed into it making it glow blue with her aura. Her skin sizzled as it unleashed her neck so she slashed it halfway across the room making the youkai scatter away from it. The youkai caught in the line of fire fell in halves to the floor. Fury coated her brown eyes as she stared up at Kyra. Saying that Kyra was surprised was an understatement.

"If you fight Sesshoumaru will never have his ward. Are you willing to risk her life miko?" Her hand tightened around the whip. Chancing a look over at Sesshoumaru she couldn't see any change in him. Squeezing her hand momentarily she let the whip fall to the floor. She closed her eyes and lowered her head in surrender.

"Good." Kyra said with a grin she wished she could slap off her face. She didn't have time to consider it because right then two youkai came forward to throw Rin to the floor. She was covered in dirt and tears were running down her face. Even so, her eyes brightened at the sight of them.

"Sesshoumaru-sama! Lady Kagome!" Rin cried. Sesshoumaru moved toward her but Kyra lifted Rin's chin with the end of her whip.

"I would stay put if I were you." Kagome noticed how her black tail flicked back and forth behind her as she spoke. She would have to find a way to fix that attitude of hers.

"Give yourself to me miko, and I will let her walk." One look at Rin and she knew she could do nothing else. "Strip yourself of your blades and come to me." Holding her head high she tossed her daggers aside. Without looking back at Sesshoumaru she moved forward up the steps. Once she reached the top Kyra walked around her like the predator she was. A youkai pushed Rin forward and she fell to her knees at Kagome's feet. She knelt down to help the girl up patting her down to make sure she was ok. A whip wrapped itself around her wrist pulling her to her back.

"Get runt. Go back to your master." Rin looked up at Kagome. An ache settled in her chest at the way she looked at her.

"Go Rin." She said softly right before Kyra back handed her.

"Did I give you permission to speak?" She watched Rin run to Sesshoumaru and wrap her arms around his leg. The ache in her heart only increased as he set his hand on her head as her tears fell.

"How does it feel miko to be used for such a worthless girl. We both know that you are worth more than she." Kagome's eyes darkened at her words. She knew what she was doing when she decided to go with Sesshoumaru. She didn't think that it would magically work out. She had known what she would have to do. There had been no doubt in her mind that it would come to this.

"Your wrong. I am worthless, the jewel is the only reason I am of worth to you. She is worth more than I will ever be." Kyra laughed as she pushed her down on her knees.

"She is nothing but a human child. A worthless excuse for a life. But you are right, I am only after that damned jewel!" She growled using her whip to slash through the back of her shirt to cut across her spine. She refused to cry out and give her the satisfaction. Kyra lifted her by her neck and ripped her shirt down her chest to reveal that the jewel no longer rested against her breast.

"Where is it!" She bit into her lip as the whip landed across her back again. Now on her hands and knees she fisted her hands against the stone beneath her.

"You wont find it." Her whip tore through her pants and tightened around her leg pulling her back across the floor.

"That's enough Kyra!" Sesshoumaru's voice roared through the room. Kagome glanced up to see him push Rin behind him.

"No…Sesshoumaru go." He pulled his sword as he moved forward.

"You're foolish miko if you think I will let her just take what is mine without punishment."

"Just leave me! You have what you wanted!" Kagome urged. "I'm not your concern."

"You have always been my concern." Kyra smiled at their display.

"What has become of you Sesshoumaru. Don't tell me you are your fathers child after all." Panther youkai attacked him as he moved forward and he easily tore them down.

"Take the girl! He goes back on his word!" As youkai came forward to gather Rin Kagome pushed to her feet only to be held back by two whips wrapping around her wrists. She could feel the blood falling down her back. She pushed the sting to the back of her mind and pulled against her bondages. Panther youkai surrounded Sesshoumaru blocking him from getting to Kyra. She didn't know where they had all come from. There looked to be thousands of them but she swore the room wasn't big enough to carry them all. Kyra's green eyes came into her view with that confident air. She turned her head away only for her to rip it back.

"Come now miko. Stop playing games. Where is the jewel?" She asked sweetly.

When she refused to say anything Kyra growled and backed away to unravel her whip. Kagome pulled against the ties at her wrists but they wouldn't budge.

"I will find it." She said letting the whip lash out to strike her shredding her clothes and leaving welts over her flesh.

"I don't have it!" Kagome screamed the lashings finally getting to her.

"Then where is it miko!" It was then that Kagome did the worst possible thing she could have ever done. She found her eyes wondering toward Rin against her will. Kyra instantly realized what she had done. The anger turned her eyes red, her claws extending to an unnatural length.

"Capture the child! She carries the jewel!"

She spun her head around toward Rin to see that one of the youkai had grabbed her. He had tossed her down and was raising his whip.

"NO!" A blue glow surrounded her pushing anyone within a few feet away from her including Kyra. Fiery settled into her eyes as the bondages holding her wrists disintegrated. She had one thing on her side that the youkai seemed to forget. That they were afraid of her. They so easily forgot that she could purify them with one touch. Even with the wounds they had given her she was capable of fighting them. She had done it before…though she had almost died then.

Hearing Kagome's outraged cry Sesshoumaru spun on his heal to see Rin. He swiped through youkai after youkai to reach her.

Kagome pushed herself forward and tore a whip out of a youkai's hand and whorled it around like she had done it all her life. The glow filled the room as she snapped it at anyone who got in her way. Kagome was almost to Rin when Kyra called her from behind. She was balancing one of her daggers on the edge of her finger. Flipping it around she set it flying for Rin. Not even stopping to think she slide to her knees to wrap her arms around Rin. She screamed as the blade planted itself in her shoulder. She could feel Rin shaking against her. This had gotten way out of hand. This wasn't what she wanted. This wasn't what she had been sent here for. How had she found herself here, at this very moment. The other blade shot toward them and a blue barrier rose up to surround them. She didn't know how she had done it but she was glad she did, until the blade hit the barrier and pain lacerated her abdomen. Whatever hit the barrier would harm her. She looked down at Rin in her arms. It might hurt her but it wouldn't hurt Rin. Besides a few scrapes Rin looked fine and that was all that mattered. Slumping slightly she turned Rin so she could look into her face.

"Rin" She whispered. "No matter what happens I want you to run. That jewel I gave you? You must not let anyone reach it."

"But that's Lady Kagome's job."

"Listen to me Rin, you must do as I say. If something happens give the jewel to Sesshoumaru, tell him to take it to Inuyasha." Rin only shook her head. "Promise me Rin!" With tears still falling over her cheeks she slowly nodded.

"Rin promises." Kagome looked up around them and ground her teeth as another wound formed over her leg. She couldn't take much more of this. The barrier was draining her power and her body hurt so bad she wanted to just pass out and sleep this nightmare off. Glancing around there was only one thing she could think to do. She didn't know if it would work but she had to try it. Closing her eyes she slammed her hands against the floor as she pushed the barrier toward the door with Rin inside leaving her out in the open.

"Run Rin! It will let you through, just go! Sesshoumaru will find you." She said pushing the barrier as far as it would go. Once Rin had ditched the barrier and ran for the gate to hide she released the barrier and fell forward to the ground letting her hands hold her. She couldn't stay like this though, she had to get up.

_Come on Kagome. You can do this. Just a little longer. You can rest after you have the jewels. Get up! Move your ass!_

Yea, talking to herself was really going to help. Something lashed out against her drawing a hiss through her teeth. Pushing herself up she forced herself to her feet. She didn't see Sesshoumaru in the mass but she knew who her target was. She wouldn't stop until she had reached it. And her sights were set on Kyra.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Sensing Kagome he glanced toward her to see that she was on the ground. He couldn't sense Rin in the room he assumed she had hidden her. He watched as she pushed her battered body up from the floor. He could tell that her energy was waning. She had used it up saving Rin. Why hadn't she acted like the human she was and just stayed down. Another youkai came at him and he pushed them back. He was growing tired of Kyra's games. One went down and two more rose in its place, but he expected no less from Kyra. Kagome came to her feet but something was off. Her eyes had grown pale and lifeless like that time they had found her.

"Kyra!" She called. Her voice was low with her hate. This wasn't the same as before. Last time her wounds had left her down for the count. She had pushed through them for a time but nothing like this. The small amount of aura he had put into her had changed her more than they realized. It had started changing her reactions. It was his reaction to fight harder and never give up until he had what he came for. Only then would he let himself feel the pain. She had taken on a part of that from him. She would get herself killed that way. Growling he sheathed his sword to let his poisonous whip fly.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Her body ached but she would not let the jewels go another minute inside that woman's body. She had shattered the jewel and she would finish it if it was the last thing she did. She refused to give up until she had them.

Step after step she took toward Kyra. She barely saw the fighting around her anymore. As she drew near Kyra raised her whip and sent it toward her. It slid pass her cheek leaving a thin line just under her eyes but she didn't stop. She drug herself forward refusing to give in just yet. Kyra growled as she moved closer. Kyra went to throw her whip again and the whole place went quiet when Kagome gripped her neck. Her fingers glowed blue around her neck keeping her from fighting.

"You have something that belongs to me." Her tone was ominous. She had never thought she could have spoken so sternly. Her tone gave away just how angry she was. "And I want them back!" She said. Her voice raising as Kyra's flesh was torn apart as the two shards were ripped from her body. Kyra's eyes widened as Kagome threw her back into the wall. Kyra snarled as she landed on the ground. Looking back at Kagome the two the shards floated above her open palm, the blue cracks instantly forming alone their surfaces. Looking at the jewels Kagome too a deep breath.

"This isn't what I wanted." She said softly. "I wont do this anymore." She said glancing up as Kyra got to her feet. All fighting had stopped to watch them.

"You wanted me, so take me. But you will never get the jewel." Kyra hissed.

"Your worthless without the jewel. Your not even fit to make a good bedmate of my men now that your body has been torn."

She was torn she realized. Every inch of her felt beaten and broken. Now that the jewels were safe in her hand she was starting to feel every wound, every cut. She gripped the shards tight in her hand as Kyra began to change. She knew before it happened that it was coming. She had almost planned on it. In an instant Kyra had transformed into her panther form and leaped toward her. She reached her hand up but it was too late. She could feel her claws ripping through her as her back hit the floor. The shards were thrown from her hand and the sound of them hitting the ground was the most deafening. Her mind was screaming for her to catch them, to reach for them, but she couldn't. All she saw was a flash of light and the surprise flash across Kyra's face as she transformed back into her human form.

Then there was darkness…A darkness so deep that she thought she would drown in it. A darkness worse than when Sesshoumaru had saved her. She kept expecting her life to flash before her eyes but it never did. She didn't see her mother or brother, she didn't see Inuyasha or her friends. But what she did see was Rin. She thought of the life she had saved and how happy she was when around Sesshoumaru. Her thoughts floated to the Youkai Lord and how his eyes seemed to brighten at seeing Rin again. In that moment she knew that he understood the happiness of seeing someone he missed. Somehow, she had spent five years gathering shards and fighting off Sesshoumaru to end up risking her life to save not only Rin but him as well. She couldn't help wonder who had fated their meeting. Who had been so cruel as to pair them together after so long of being enemies. How could someone be so cruel as to let her die when she was finally seeing him for something other than a demon.

The jewel she had tucked into Rin's kimono crossed her mind then. What had Sazue said?

'Ask yourself Kagome, what is your purpose and there lies the jewels purpose.'

She had thought here in the darkness the answer would finally come to her but to her disappointment it didn't. Closing her eyes she let the darkness take her. She was too tired to fight it any longer. She was just glad that she had finally done something right.


	23. Destined

**ENJOY!**

**Disclaimer: **Disclaimed

**Recap: **"Your worthless without the jewel. Your not even fit to make a good bedmate of my men now that your body has been torn."…'Ask yourself Kagome, what is your purpose and there lies the jewels purpose.'…She had thought here in the darkness the answer would finally come to her but to her disappointment it didn't.

**Chapter 22:**

**Destined**

Over her weeks of travels she never thought it would end like this. Never in her 20 years did she think she would be the person she had turned into. She opened her eyes and darkness surrounded her. You would think the otherworld would have found a better color. After so many people had died you would think death would have put a little color into their dreadful existences. Then again, if this was the otherworld then why was she so thirsty? Why was that annoying headache still rattling her brain? And since when had death become so comfortable? Coming awake she realized that her darkness had turned into a dark room with white walls. The softness she felt was that of the bed she had been tucked into. Thinking she was dreaming she blinked her eyes only to come back to this room, this bed, and that damned headache. Shifting under the covers her body still hurt. Had she thought it would have magically disappeared? She couldn't make out much in the room and she guessed it was late into the night. The first thing she did notice was that she was tucked into one of the comfiest beds she had every been lucky enough to lay in, which surprised her since she hadn't slept in a bed since she didn't know how long. The second thing she realized was that everything except her underwear and bra had been stripped from her. That realization should have disturbed her but her mind was foggy and she didn't want to think right then.

Something shifted to her left drawing her attention. Rolling her head to the side a pair of gold eyes were watching her.

"I sure hope that's you Sesshoumaru or else I'm screwed." He stepped forward to where she could finally see his face. His expression was one of the sourest she had ever seen from him.

"You are very foolish." He said sternly but his voice lacked his usual harshness. "Do you realize what could have happened."

"Yea." She said past her dry throat. "I could have died."

"You almost did." He growled out. There was that harshness she missed so dearly. She smiled as she looked up at him.

"Oh how I have missed that growl." He snarled baring his teeth.

"Do you know what you have done?" She raised a hand to her aching head as his words slammed into her. "You were at deaths door! I had to heal you. Do you understand what that means?" It was then she noticed that his frustration wasn't toward her at all. He was mad at himself. She had made such a big deal before about the whole aura thing that he was worried. Worried! Sesshoumaru!

She smiled lightly as he glowered down at her.

"I was never mad about the aura Sesshoumaru." She whispered letting her tone take on a sympathetic note. "I was mad because you didn't tell me what would happen because of it." He stepped back to take a seat near the glass door that lead to the balcony. The only reason she knew it was a balcony was because she could see the stars through the door. He sat with his back straight and his hands in his sleeves. He glanced up out the glass to look at the stars.

"You were worried about me." She said in disbelief. When those gold eyes turned back to land on her the frustration and stoic passivism that usually settled there was gone. Replaced by that same sadness and longing that she had seen when they had been back at the village.

"You don't understand."

"Then explain it to me." She pled. "This has to do with what Sazue said doesn't it?"

"Do you know what Destined Mate's are miko?" He asked serenely. She only shook her head as he watched her for a reaction.

"A youkai mates simply to have an heir or to have someone to help them rule. This is done…"

"I really don't want to have a sex talk with you Sesshoumaru." His soft growl filled the room.

"Quiet miko and listen." She instantly clamped her mouth shut to let him continue. "This is done by sharing their auras equally with each other. This ensures that the two will be equal and that other youkai will realize who they belong to. Take in consideration that the two don't have to care for one another or feel any need to be with or near them." He paused to make sure she was still listening. At the slight tilt of her head he continued.

"A Destined Mate is quite different. This kind of attraction and affection is very rare for youkai but it is irreversible and is a permanent life alteration once a youkai comes into contact with it. The youkai doesn't have to know them or like them, but after being in their company and having been around them for any length of time the urgent need to protect them and be near them is impossible to ignore. To have a Destined Mate is to have a part of yourself forever attached to someone else. It means that the youkai can have no one else."

"What are you saying?" She asked. But she already knew. She knew the instant he started looking at her like it would kill him to lose her.

"This doesn't affect humans like it does youkai. Miko…you could walk away in a few days and never feel a thing. My aura inside of you isn't enough for you to feel what I feel. If you left I would willingly let you go, but if you were to walk away from me now it would torture my soul. To have a Destined Mate walk away after being together would tear the youkai apart." She couldn't do anything but stare at him. She had just stepped into the twilight zone. She had to have because this was….impossible. But one look at him told her that it was the truth.

"This has something to do with our transfer of auras…" The shake of his head stopped her in the middle of her sentence.

"No miko, our transfer is what kept you from being raped. You're a stubborn girl and didn't submit well. Didn't you ever wonder how you got away without submitting."

She shrugged her bare shoulders at his question.

"Lucky?" She said smiling shyly. He looked like he wanted to roll his eyes but instead narrowed them on her.

"Indeed."

"You think the way I act is cute, admit it."

"The way you act is vexing." The corner of his mouth slip up slightly making her smile. Looking around the room the best she could she took in how well put together it looked.

"Where am I?" She asked.

"My castle."

"And Rin?"

"She is fine, she visits you often during the day."

"What about you? How long have you been sitting there?"

"A week." She shot up in the bed as shock consumed her. She instantly regretted it as pain raked her back. Gently resting herself back against the sheets she stared at the ceiling.

"I've been out for a week?" There was no way she had been laying in bed that long. If felt like she was just fighting with Kyra and getting slammed into the dirt.

"You've sat there for a week? Why? Thought you had better responsibilities."

"You have become my responsibility." A silence settled over the room. She didn't know how to reply to that. She took a deep breath and could feel her eyes getting heavy but she didn't want to fall back into that darkness.

"Sesshoumaru?" She asked finding his eyes still glowing through the dark. "Could you get me some water?" Without a word he disappeared leaving her to think over what had happened. She was glad that it was over. With the two shards she collected from Kyra she only had one left. Sesshoumaru floated back into the room and set a glass beside her head. The cool water sliding down her throat felt wonderful in comparison. It soothed the rawness that talking had caused.

"Thank you." She whispered. He tilted his head slightly as he took his seat again. She couldn't imagine him sitting there night after night. How did he manage to sit straight after something like that. Surly he didn't really sleep there. But she knew better. After what he had told her she had no doubts that he did.

"If your really going to stay here all night you might as well join me." Of course she didn't really expect him to comply with what she said so when the bed dipped behind her she went still. The cool air hit her bare skin as he lifted the covers to settle behind her. When he didn't move to touch her she let herself relax. She had been close to him before. She had fallen asleep in his arms before. But this wasn't the same as sitting around the fire or sharing a moment on a walk. She rolled over so she could look up into his face and instantly regretted it at how close they were.

"Should I be worried?" He shook his head at her question.

"No miko, I will not harm you." She gave a soft smile and let herself settle onto her back. Her body still ached but she wasn't in pain. She lifted her arm and had to do a double take. They were barely there but blue stripes had formed over the inside of her wrists. She brought up her other arm to stare in disbelief.

"The more of my aura you take into your body the darker they will get. Your wounds have been grave. I never meant for you to ever change this much." She shook her head at his words.

"Its alright, just…startling." He took her wrist into his hand and ran his fingers over the faded stripes.

"What does this mean?" She asked.

"That the more of my aura you have the stronger my youkai will claim you. The more demon you will become."

"Like you need any more reason to protect me." She meant for it to be funny but he simply stared at her wrists.

"Sesshoumaru? What is your youkai telling you?" She asked softly.

"It doesn't matter."

"It does matter. Even now you try to deny it. If I were anyone else what would you do." He finally pulled his eyes away from her wrists to look up at her.

"Miko if you were anyone else I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't have cared to stay and watch over you. I wouldn't have saved you at all."

"Why did you save me that first time then?"

"For Rin…"

"Don't lie Sesshoumaru, it might have started off because of Rin but that hasn't been the reason you kept me around. That wasn't the reason you put up with me." She sighed when he leaned back away from her. "Why can't you just say it?"

"What is it you want me to say." Giving up she rolled back onto her side away from him. She really didn't know what she had been searching for. Maybe she wanted to think that it wasn't just because of the aura transfer and the whole Destined Mates thing that drew him to her. Maybe she thought that…he was right, it didn't matter.

"It would have me hold you." She turned her head slightly over her shoulder. "My youkai, it would have me hold you. All this time I've just wanted to touch you."

"Why haven't you."

"Because I don't know how." His confession shook her. If he weren't so serious she would have found the fact that this was so hard for him amusing. He never hesitated with anything. He was always so sure of himself but it seemed he had been beaten by emotions he didn't know he had. Maybe it was the fact that she was seeing him differently, maybe it was his aura, but she knew this was no accident. Just as Sazue had said. Out of everyone on this planet the fates had destined them to be together.

"You don't have to know how. For once just listen to yourself." She whispered. After a while when he didn't move she settled her head against the pillow and closed her eyes. She took a shaky breath when his claws skimmed over her arm to cross over her stomach. Ever so gently he pulled her back against him. She found herself relaxing as his warmth surrounded her. His breath caressed her ear and sent chills down her spine. She laid her head on the pillow allowing her hair to fall back off her neck.

"You choose now to submit?" She let a light laugh escape her as his words came out so seriously. Her brushed her shortened hair aside to nuzzle the side of her neck. She had grown used to his youkai doing this but it was the light kiss he rested there that surprised her. The way his lips trailed over the back of her shoulder making her shiver.

"Sesshoumaru?" She questioned. His soft growl vibrated against her skin.

"Rest Kagome, you are safe."

The sound of his voice speaking her name was enough to make her realize that she believed him completely. With every fiber of her being she trusted him.


	24. Something New To Consider

**I had to finish my Literature Paper and had to put Sess/Kag on hold. It sucked but I'm back to writing what I love now. So back to it!**

**Disclaimer: **Totally do not own Inuyasha, but I so own this story!

**Recap: **"You choose now to submit?" She let a light laugh escape her as his words came out so seriously… The way his lips trailed over the back of her shoulder making her shiver.

"Sesshoumaru?" She questioned. His soft growl vibrated against her skin.

"Rest Kagome, you are safe."…With every fiber of her being she trusted him.

**Chapter 23: Something New To Consider**

She had easily fallen asleep in his arms but it was only hours later that she found herself staring at the wall in front of her while Sesshoumaru slept peacefully behind her. He might have been used to the comfy, soft, put you right to sleep bed, but she had spent way too much time in a sleeping bag. She couldn't go to sleep in the beds cushiness and that disappointed her greatly.

She could see light starting to trail in from the window of the balcony and assumed that the sun had begun to rise but she was content to remain where she was. Even if sleep wouldn't take her she deserved a moment to be lazy, but then she really needed to get up and locate the jewel and she was sure Rin would be glad to see her. But she had found out earlier that the arm that hung loosely at her waist would tighten at the slightest movement. Glancing down, his arm hug light over her side, his claws brushing her stomach giving her that tickly feeling. She smiled at the light purr that caressed her ear and she wondered if he even realized that he purred in his sleep. She held back the laugh that threatened to bubble up not wanting to wake him. She doubted that he had gotten much sleep since she had been out considering he had been watching over her. She rested her head back against the pillow and watched the light start to play across the room.

A few weeks ago if someone would have told her that she would end up in the arms of Sesshoumaru she would have laughed in their face. She would have called them crazy for thinking such but now, she didn't know if she would have chosen for it to be differently. She had seen a side of Sesshoumaru that she doubted anyone had ever gotten the chance to see. Sazue had been right, her impression of him had changed. She once would have run from him, but she was content. For the first time in five years since coming here she was happy. And she wanted to think that Sesshoumaru had learned something from her as well. She would like to imagine that he had found a type of happiness in having her around. She didn't want this to be just because of some Destined Mate thing or because she held his aura inside her. She wanted to know that he had started to appreciate her for just being her.

The sun had rose to shine right in her eyes and she recoiled from it. His arm squeezed her waist lightly to pull her back against him. She could feel his chest rise as he took in her scent in his sleep. His hold automatically loosened as he took in a whiff of her hair. What was it about her scent that relaxed him? She hadn't realized it but he had been doing that ever since they found her and every time he always seemed to relax at her smell. She would have just laid there but her back was starting to hurt and her leg was going numb.

Slowly she took his arm and lifted it slightly so she could slide out from under it. Amazingly, it was easier than she thought it would have been. His claws fell against the bed as she set his hand back down but he didn't stir from his sleep. She searched the room and found his kimonos lined up. He had let her sleep in his room. Why would he have done that. Surely he had plenty of extra space she could have taken up but she didn't dwell on that now. She was barely clothed and she felt like she hadn't bathed in a year. Closing the door to that armoire she checked the other one and found kimono's that resembled his. She figured that they must have been set up for the Lady of the West if he were to ever take a mate. Not wanting to push her luck she slid the white and red aside and found a black and white. The silk was cool against her skin and she felt that it was too good for her. Looking back over her shoulder at him still deep in sleep she wondered if he had planned on ever taking a mate at all. He didn't seem the type to want anyone else around but why would he have had the kimono's made if he hadn't planned on it some day. Sighing, she made up her mind and pulled it off the rack and folded it over her arm. She moved back to his side and cast one last glance over him. He looked so peaceful, like a child when they slept. This was the only time when his features were free to show his true feelings, free to show exactly what was going on with him. She rested her fingers over the strip on his cheek and he turned his head toward the warmth of her hand. She found the action odd coming from him but it brought a smile to her lips.

"Sesshoumaru, what do we do now?" She asked to the silent room. His nostrils flared as he took in the scent over her wrist, his fangs elongated slightly over his lip but she knew he was still asleep. It would have frightened her earlier, but now she didn't even flinch as his teeth scrapped against the pulse in her wrist. When she pulled away he growled lightly but nothing else. Making sure he wouldn't wake she left the room to find her a spring to bathe in and clear her head.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

It was later that Sesshoumaru was wakened by an annoying pull on his aura. Before he even opened his eyes he knew the sun had already risen. He had never slept pass sunrise before in his whole entire existence. At one glance around the room he knew what had woken him. Kagome was nowhere in sight and the loss sent an ache through him. He growled pushing the ache down as he went to search for her. He left with the intent to scold her for leaving him but as soon as he located her in the gardens playing with Rin he couldn't bring himself to be angry. Their laughter rang in his ears, their smiles making their faces glow with joy. Kagome was standing behind Rin showing her how to hold a wooden stick. He watched as Kagome ran back out a good few feet away and threw a ball her way. Rin groaned as she swung but missed the ball entirely. Kagome simply smiled and ran back to her to whisper something to her before grabbing the ball and moving back. Curious, he moved closer but stayed to where he wouldn't disturb their play. He had forgotten just how old Rin had gotten. She still spoke and acted like a child but he hadn't been much of a teacher. He forgot how fast humans aged. Rin was hitting her teens now, time passed so fast for them while he stayed to watch them age. Kagome would be that way. How could the fates have cursed him to forever be bound to a human? A growl started in his throat but as if hearing him Kagome glanced up and their eyes locked. Her shortened hair had fallen into her face. She wore a kimono that he noticed as one of his mothers, the sleeves were rolled back to leave her arms free and the ends were pulled up to leave her legs free to run. He should have been angry but he couldn't find it in him. Then she smiled at him and his growl instantly disappeared, vanishing with the way her smile made him feel.

"Sesshoumaru-sama!" Rin shrieked, throwing the stick she held to the ground so she could run up to him, immediately taking a hold of his arm. "Kagome has been teaching Rin a new game. Does Sesshoumaru -sama want to play…" She turned to Kagome for the right word. His eyes never left her as she made her way over toward them.

"Baseball Rin." She prompted gently.

"Does Sesshoumaru-sama want to play baseball with Rin and Lady Kagome." He shook his head but Kagome really didn't think he would agree. She knew that he wouldn't because he would have to be taught, and that would mean he didn't know everything. The term would have been new to him and she doubted he would agree to be taught. He might have eased a bit but he was still the Lord of the West. Rin saddened at his answer but Kagome took her arm.

"That doesn't mean we still can't play Rin. Why don't we show Sesshoumaru what you have learned." He tilted his head appreciatively as Rin ran back to pick up her stick. Smiling she left him to play. He took up leaning back against a tree watching them. They played for hours and he never found himself getting bored. Rin obviously wasn't very good at the game but when it became Kagome's turn to hit she easily hit it over Rin's head, though from time to time she would miss but he got the feeling it was more for Rin's sake than her actually missing. By the time they were done Rin was covered in dirt and smelled of sweat. He held his breath when she gave him a quick hug and told them she would go bathe before dinner.

He waited for Kagome to do the same but when she never passed him he glanced up just as she threw the ball at him. He caught it easily and looked it over thinking it must be special, but of course it was simply a ball.

"What is this baseball?" He asked still looking at the ball as she came toward him.

"A sport we play in my time. Its usually played with two teams and multiple players but it works well with two as well if your just playing around." She watched him study the ball and moved to take the ball from him as she laughed. "Its just a ball Sesshoumaru. I promise." Looking at her she looked tired. She was almost as smudged with dirt as Rin had been but she seemed more youthful after playing. Like the game had taken away her worries. She started toward the mansion and on impulse he called her back.

"Would you show me?" She paused at his question to looked back at him.

"Show you what? Baseball?" At his slight nod her eyebrows lifted in surprise. "Sure" She said happily. Showing him something would be a treat since it was so rare that she got to teach him anything. Following her back to the open area she lifted the stick that was about the length of one of his swords.

"Pretty much all you do is swing with this when I throw the ball and try to not kill me when you hit it." She handed the makeshift bat to him and covered his hands with hers to show him how to hold it. He had started to hold his breath with her so close but even after hours of play she smelled delightful to him. When Rin had stunk she smelled the same as she always did to him.

"…run around the bases." Noticing that he hadn't heard her she rested her hands on her hips. "Sesshoumaru." This whole Destined Mate thing must have really done something to him if he couldn't concentrate. She called to him again and when he looked up at her he looked as if she had offended him. Rolling her eyes she took the ball and stepped back. At the last minute she moved back toward him and circled him looking him up and down.

"Hmm, that just wont do." She tisked gripping his sleeves and ripping them off so his arms would be free. He frowned taking in his bare arms.

"That was expensive miko." He said solemnly.

"Yea yea, and mine was full of hard work and you still destroyed it. Your in my territory now." She said waving him off.

"It was silk." She smiled slyly as she moved back.

"Sooorryyy." She said in a sing song voice. "That's what happens to mean youkai. Karma comes back and bites them in the ass." He didn't seem to like her reasoning but she would catch glimpses of the amusement playing in his eyes. If she hadn't been sure before she was now that his personality had softened toward her.

"When you hit the ball normally your supposed to run around the bases, which Rin and I set up as those shrubs, and the other player would try and catch them but since I wouldn't be able to catch you anyway I don't see the point."

She threw a few pitches and he actually did really well. She figured it was because he was used to wielding his swords all the time. It gave him an advantage. But when it came her turn the ball flew by her so fast it took her a moment to realize he had thrown it, but she did catch the green trail it left. If he was going to play like that then so was she. Setting herself up for his next pitch she let her bat glow blue. Green automatically surrounded the ball he held. She didn't miss the hint of a smile that curved his lips. He thought he was so great didn't he. She smacked the ball and took off. She had told him not to run, didn't mean she couldn't right? He did manage to snatch the ball out of thin air but seeing her run he used his speed to flash himself in front of her and she slide to the ground laughing. Seeing that he was looking down at her with that stoic expression she reached up her hand. When he gripped it she pulled him down throwing the dirt everywhere.

She only laughed harder when the dust cleared and she saw how the dirt had settled over his hair and white clothes. He didn't look one bit happy but she couldn't help herself. The harder she tried not to laugh the more she did.

"Loosen up Sesshoumaru. What did you think would happen when you played around." All of the sudden a big pile of dirt was thrown into her face. Feeling the grit in her mouth she held out her tongue and glared at him.

"That was so childish." His gold eyes settled on her and she could see the amusement there even if it didn't show on his face. He got up and dusted himself off. When he started away from her she piled dirt into her hand and threw it at his back. He instantly stopped in his tracks and she took off running. She didn't make it far before his whip wrapped around her ankles causing her to fall to the ground. When she rolled over onto her back he pinned her hands to the ground beside her head.

"What will you do now miko." he said caustically daring her to find her way out of this one. Looking him over she giggled at the smudges all over him.

"You dare laugh at me miko. This is your fault."

"You look great to me." Her laugh faded and was replaced by just a smile when he growled down at her. "You look like you actually had a good time." She said gently. "This is what fun feels like Sesshoumaru. That's what fun looks lik." She said tilting her head to his clothes. She easily pulled one of her hands free to smooth over a black smudge on his cheek. For the second time he pushed his cheek into her hands. A rumble settled in his chest and before she knew what he intended he wrapped his hand around the back of her neck and pulled her face to his roughly pressing his lips to hers. She whimpered and pressed her hands into his chest but he ignored her. His lips bruised hers in a way she hadn't expected from him.

"Sesshoumaru…" She called when he moved his lips to her neck, his fangs scraping against her skin. His eyes widened as the fear in her voice registered and he realized what he was doing. He could have beat himself when he pulled back and saw the look in her eyes. He helped her to her feet and turned to leave her not wanting to see the fear his youkai had caused.

Collecting herself she took a breath. She knew he hadn't meant for that to happen. He had scared her but she knew the instant he looked down at her that he was already beating himself up for it. There was a battle taking place inside of him and the last thing he really needed was to be by himself. Taking hold of his arm she pulled him back gently.

"Sesshoumaru? Walk with me." She asked. After they had settled into a rhythm she let her mind wander. He had kissed her. Sesshoumaru, ice lord hater of humans kissed her. She had to think about something else. Clearing her throat she stole a glance at him.

"So um…did you like playing baseball? Or was it too new for you."

"You think your so smart don't you miko. I have heard that one before and being referred to as an old dog is disgraceful." She laughed. " As a matter of fact old dogs can learn new tricks." She pressed her hand to her mouth to keep herself contained.

"I'm sorry Sesshoumaru. I didn't think you would get it."

"Indeed." He eyed her as she walked ahead of him to pick flowers. He berated himself for how he had acted before. He wouldn't have blamed her if she had avoided him. She had obviously been frightened by him, so why had she pulled him back? Why was she determined to keep him by his side? She gathered multiple colors but she placed only one white flowed in the center of her bundle. Normally he wouldn't have asked questions of anyone, but she did things that were odd to him. She did and said things that would leave him questioning himself.

"What are you doing?" She glanced back at him only momentarily before turning back to what she was doing.

"I assume Kyra is dead. I'm gathering flowers for her." She was a curious girl. Why would one care for an enemy.

"Why?" He found himself asking why more when he would normally have been too proud to. Eyeing him she straightened and smiled.

"Where I'm from we have ceremonies for when people pass away. We bury them in the ground and place flowers around where they are buried. It's a show of respect and honor toward the dead." Pausing to think she looked up at his dirty face. "What do you do when you lose someone?"

"We burn them and set them afloat down the river. We weren't meant to be under the ground." Considering his words she moved toward the small pond he had and kneeled down to let the bundle of flowers float along the waters surface. With a light touch of her finger their petals began to burn blue.

"Kyra doesn't deserve your care." He said directing his harshness toward Kyra. She lowered he gaze to the burning flowers.

"No, but everyone deserves an honorable end. If she weren't so obsessed with your land and my jewel she would still be alive. If nothing else she deserves a burning flower." Remembering the single white flower he watched as it was the first to turn to ash.

"Why the white one?"

"It resembles a persons purity." She looked up at him and moved her hand over her heart. "Everyone has a pure part of themselves hidden away. Kyra had hidden hers away so far that it became lost to her. So I use white to show the pureness that she had lost." She rose up to settled her hand over where his heart was. Her touch was soft and he could feel his youkai stirring but he pushed it down to concentrate on what she was saying. "You even have it. But you, like Kyra, has pushed it away and so deep within you that you wouldn't recognize it even if it were to show itself." She smoothed her fingers over the chest of his kimono and gave him a soft smile that filled him with gratification. "But I know its there, even if you don't see it." She said letting her hand drop away from him.

He didn't understand why she would go through so much trouble to see the purity in someone who obviously didn't have any. He had long given up on his innocence and what she saw in him he didn't know. He doubted he ever would understand why she did the things she did. Kyra had only caused her pain and here she was, showing her kindness even in death. He had done nothing but push her around and she was touching him in a way that was required of friendship. It showed her true nature, her kindness and purity. It explained why she reacted the way she did to his roughness. It made him wary of her, more conscious of what he was doing. She was pure of heart and soul and for once he didn't think he could compete.


	25. Sometimes, Fate Knows Best

**Chapter 24, all set and ready. Though very long, longer than all my others. I want to say something but it will give it away so I'll just let you read and let me know what you think.**

**Disclaimer: **Don't own inuyahsa. No one wants to own inuyahsa...now Sess? Yea, I so own him!

**Recap:** …he wrapped his hand around the back of her neck and pulled her face to his roughly pressing his lips to hers… He could have beat himself when he pulled back and saw the look in her eyes…She was pure of heart and soul and for once he didn't think he could compete.

**Chapter 24: **

**Sometimes, Fate Knows Best**

The rest of the day he purposely stayed away from her. Though the pull on his aura wouldn't allow him to completely leave her he did manage to stay out of her sight. For the first time in his life he felt like she was something he shouldn't be allowed to touch. Like something you knew you wanted but could never have. He didn't know if he should have been angry or lucky to be destined to have her.

Her and Rin had continued to play as the day passed and she even managed to get Rin to sit down and study the books he had been trying to get her to read for months. He had always considered humans as lower beings. Rin had been an exception simply because she was a child and he had never been able to harm a child. But Kagome, she had been just someone that hung around his brother. He hadn't taken a second glance at her other than to keep her out of his way. Now he couldn't seem to think of anything else. His responsibilities took a backseat where she was concerned. That was dangerous for someone like him. But his reality finally caught up with him and he left her to do the work he had been neglecting for the last week.

It wasn't until that night after Rin had went to sleep that he searched for her again. He found Kagome sitting in the garden. He couldn't help notice how the glow from the moon shown off her raven hair. In the moons light he could clearly make out the faded blue markings that had formed over her cheeks and wrists. His markings over her delicate skin suited her. The flowers around her seemed to be pulled in her direction only proving his point that she was the innocence that he had never been blessed with. She had bathed and all ounces of dirt had been cleared from her person but he doubted it would have mattered to his youkai. Just being near her calmed it and left him serene. Thought he wanted to say it was only their fate and aura that drew him he couldn't. It wasn't the influence of them being destined that attracted him. He had to admit, if only to himself, that she was a beautiful girl. No, he called her a girl but Rin was a girl, Kagome had come a long way from the 15 year old she had been. No, he was sure now that it wasn't just his aura or their fated connection that he felt pulling him. If he was being completely honest with himself he would say that he actually liked the way she ignored his title and pushed him around like he was normal. If she had been anyone else she would have been dead way before now, but she challenged his thoughts and tore down his pride. She forced him to be something other than just a Lord. Their whole time traveling she had respected him, but she hadn't once done what he wanted her to. She had her own mind and he admired that about her. She took his responsibilities and created fun. She was smart and had, on more than one occasion, shown him that she was able to handle herself.

Thinking back on the whole Destined Mate issue he knew that someone was playing a horrid game on him. He had never considered taking a mate. He had no need for one. No one pushed him to have an heir and nor had the thought of a pup ever crossed his mind. It had been him and Jaken his whole life, and Rin had been a change, but a mate? A pup? Never. After what happened with his father he had assured himself that he would never put himself in a position where family ruled his standings, but watching Kagome with Rin he couldn't help wonder what it would be like. How it would feel to have a family. How it would feel to hold his pup in his arms and know that he would always be loved. For the first time in centuries of living he wanted that.

He wanted that with Kagome. For the life of him he didn't know why, but he couldn't see anyone else tolerating his demeanor. But would she accept that. She hadn't mentioned anything about it since he had told her the night before. She had taken it well but he didn't know how to treat her. She wasn't a youkai and their rules and beliefs meant nothing to her. He couldn't just take her like a female youkai and avoid her. Fated mates didn't work like that. He wouldn't be able to mate with her the way he would with a youkai. He would end up harming her that way and he couldn't risk that. Mating was fierce and a war for dominance and submission. She was human and could easily be overpowered but mating wasn't about force particularly, but it was about fighting the female until she willingly submitted. Kagome would never willingly submit and he knew it. It was either risk his youkai killing her because of her stubbornness or him changing the way he handled himself. He really didn't have a choice in the matter. Narrowing his eyes at his disturbing thoughts he centered himself by turning his attention back to her.

Walking up behind her he saw that Rin had given her back the jewel and she now held it in her hand while the two shards she had received from Kyra floated over her other palm. Collecting them both between her palms a blue glow surrounded her hands and in moments was gone. She dropped the jewel from her hand to dangle by the chain she had wrapped around her fingers. Dropping her hands to her lap she suddenly looked up toward him. He hadn't realized he had moved toward her. Seeing him there she smiled and that action touched him in a way nothing else could.

"Come and sit with me Sesshoumaru." She called sliding over on the bench. "Where have you been all day?" She asked as he took a seat beside her.

She watched the way he stiffly moved toward her and settled himself on the edge of the seat. He had seemed so calm with her earlier but now it was as if he was afraid to be around her.

"Busy." Was all he said and she let her eyes fall back to the jewel in her lap. She never knew what was really going on with him. Only in his sleep did she ever know what he was thinking. He had seemed content earlier to be around her but after their moment in the garden he had been avoiding her. He seemed so tense like he was fighting himself. She didn't understand why he wouldn't just relax and let himself be, well…himself. She knew it had been the kiss. He had surprised even himself. She didn't think he was used to getting close to anyone and everything was gaining on him.

"Does it bother you?" She asked. His ear twitch under his hair but he didn't turn to her. "Being Fated to me I mean. You didn't seem to mind before but today you've been….I thought we were ok and then the kiss and you frightened me is all…but…you scared yourself too." He finally glanced at her as she rambled on. She was trying to fill the silence and it was driving him insane. He couldn't think. He rested a hand over hers and she instantly fell silent.

"Silence miko. You talk too much." He released her hand and looked out over the flowers but she didn't think he really saw them. She stayed quiet to let him think and after a moment he looked back down at her.

"It doesn't bother me. I couldn't have been fated to anyone better. You are strong and smart, but I don't believe you understand the situation you are in." He paused and she desperately wanted to say something but she didn't dare interrupt him. " Youkai are in no way human. When we mate it's a fight for dominance and you could easily get hurt." A blush settled over her cheeks.

"Sesshoumaru, I don't…"

"Be quiet. Us being fated will constantly pull at me until I actually make you my mate. That is dangerous for you. I once told you our tendency is to be gentle. It is, but you have to understand that gentle to a youkai is quite rough to a human. I could easily harm you if we mate."

"Do we really have to have this talk." He growled at her and she flinched.

"Yes miko, we do. Because sooner or later we will mate and I do not want to harm you because of your foolishness."

"That's why you have been avoiding me? Your afraid you will hurt me?" He answered by turning his gaze away from her. "Why is it so hard for you to share with me?"

"Because I've never felt like this before!" He spun on her so fast she leaned back in her seat. "Do you realize what it would feel like if I were to lose you now? What would happen if I were to accidentally kill you? It would be like losing a part of myself." His voice lowered back to normal as he took her in. "I can't loose you. You've been with me too long and at this point I don't think I could stand it if you weren't around. My youkai would slowly destroy me without you. " Without a second thought she reached over and rested her hand over his arm.

"I do understand Sesshoumaru." Her voice was light and sympathetic. "I don't know what to expect from this and what your telling me is…scary." She laughed lightly in her nervousness. She shifted so that the jewel sat in her other hand.

"This little jewel. This is all because of this jewel. But you know, I think it knows what its doing. It has its own purpose. And though I am the one that tells it what to do I don't think Sazue was right. I believe that it does think for itself and does exactly what the owner needs it to do whether the owner wants it or not. Its much like fate." She glanced up at him then and patted his arm. He looked down at the jewel and saw that the blue had spread to cover more of the jewel. There was only one lone piece missing now.

"It knows what its doing even if we don't know how to go about making it happen." She said a light blush covering her cheeks and spreading down her neck. "I don't know your rules or traditions, but…I know that you will show me what I need to know in time. You may not think I'm really listening but I am. I hear every word. I do understand what being destined means. I did hear the part where I am the only one you can ever have. Do you think I would fate you to a life without?" She took a shaky breath before continuing. "Besides, this was obviously meant to be and I don't know about you but…I trust you and believe in you. Tell me I'm wrong for doing that." She whispered.

"Your wrong." He said not really having the weight behind it. He looked up at her when her hand left his so she could chain the jewel around her neck. Sighing she stood and turned to face him with a hand held out for him to take. He was hesitant to take it and that wasn't like him. She threatened his sanity. She had managed to teach him to stop and consider when all he had been doing was moving. She smiled reassuringly down at him and he knew he wouldn't refuse her anything. Taking her hand she gently pulled him to his feet.

_Come and take my hand_

_Help me to make a stand_

_This is our last chance_

_So lets…just dance_

"Do you dance Sesshoumaru-sama?" She asked a spark shining in her eye as the corner of her mouth lifted. He quirked an eyebrow at the title she used to mock him with but there was no mockery in her tone now. Her genuine innocence never ceased to amaze and astound him. As he shook his head she pulled his arm to her waist and rested her hand over his shoulder. "Well your going to dance with me tonight."

_When did you realize_

_The truth playing in your eyes?_

_You hide everything_

_Behind that smile_

_That could go on for miles_

There was no music, no sound except that of the sounds of the night. No one watched them except for the moon and there was no one for them to impress. And it was the best moment of his life. He didn't know when it had happened or how, but he knew that he would give anything to keep her. He would give anything to know this was real. That someone so pure and kind could ever belong to him was beyond him.

_Show me how you move_

_Show me a part of you_

_That I never knew_

_Show me a part of yourself_

_That even you haven't seen_

_Show me that part of you_

_That I've been missing_

How could he have known that such a frustrating and irritating girl could show him a part of himself that he had thought lost. A part of himself that he had tried so hard to hide. Until her he hadn't realized just how much he had been missing. He hadn't know he could feel this way for anyone. How could he have known that one day he would give everything to know that in a few years he could look upon her and still feel that peace of mind. Feel that sense of belonging that he hadn't felt since his mother. For once he wanted to see himself with someone, with her.

_Did you ever think_

_We would end up here_

_When I look at you_

_Do you know what I hear_

_I hear my heart beating_

_My soul pleading_

_For you to stay and remain here with me_

He squeezed his claws at her waist where he held her and had to mind himself of the pressure he used. They had fallen into step easily and he was impressed with how smoothly she moved. She moved like she was meant for this but then she moved like she was meant for fighting as well. Her posture and stance changed to fit what she was doing and he understood where her strength came from. Her passion and emotion controlled her strength and determination. It only made him want to claim her as his even more if that was even possible at this point. He knew that if he didn't do something soon she would receive the last jewel and be on her way home. He didn't know if he could allow that to happen but he wasn't going to let her go without knowing what it could be like.

_Take my hand_

_Let me show you how_

_To love someone_

_I see it there_

_In your eyes_

_They shine when you look at me_

His mind was running but he was at a loss for what to do. She pulled them to a stop at the look that crossed his features. She looked up at him as if she knew his thoughts. The hand that had been loosely hanging over his shoulder moved to smooth over his cheek.

_In your arms_

_Under the stars_

_I must be dreaming_

_But if I am_

_Let me stay sleeping_

_This is it, this is us_

_From here on out_

_Let us just be us_

"You shouldn't worry about what you can't control my lord." She said sweetly. He lifted his hand to brush the bangs back off her face and she gave a soft smile. Her shoulders slumped as he traced the curve of her eyebrow and followed the line of her jaw. She was forced to bend her head back to look at him when he moved forward into her space. She parted her lips slightly as he brushed the pad of his thumb over them. He couldn't help realize how soft they were against the pads of his fingers. She noticed the attentive way he stared at her, like he was memorizing her. His every touch was light with his intensity. Every line on her face was buried behind those bright eyes and she found that fact fascinating.

She could feel his warm breath fall against her neck as he leaned down to take in her scent. His body visibly relaxed and she couldn't help wonder what kind of power it held over him. She closed her eyes as his fingers combed through her hair leaving her scalp tingling as if she could feel him through their strands alone.

He reached his hand up to trail over her neck. She was acutely aware of his every movement, his every touch and it left trails of heat over her skin. She raised her hand to cover his and their eyes met.

In the moment that brown met gold he knew that he had lost himself. One glance from her had broken him to where he would never be whole again without her. Maybe he was aware of it before now, before she had been laying half dead in his bed while he wondered when she would wake. Maybe he knew the moment by the river in the village or the moment she had chosen him over her friends. The time he had become aware of the part she played in his life didn't matter anymore. What mattered was the way she was looking at him, the way she reacted as if his touch was the only thing she could feel, the only thing that mattered.

Lowering his head toward her he reminded himself of her earlier reaction and instead lightly brushed his lips against hers asking for her to accept him. Pleading with her to allow him a chance to prove that he wasn't just a cold Youkai Lord. To his pleasure she responded with the sweetest kiss he had ever receive, leaving his mind blank except for her.

His light growl vibrated through her mouth and a smile rose to her lips making her giggle as she felt the vibration move down her tongue. His canines lengthened against her lips and she knew she should have worried about it, but she couldn't bring herself to move away. It was as if his kiss was mesmerizing and to pull away would end with her crashing down to a reality she didn't want.

She drew a sharp breath when his tongue snaked across her lower lip begging for entrance. Not being able to deny him she parted her lips, the feel of his tongue memorizing her mouth a truly alien feeling.

She could feel a warmth consume her flesh and she absently wished she didn't have the long sleeves clinging to her arms as she raised her hand to his chest and felt the growl rumble against her palms. His hand splayed against the small of her back suddenly pulled her flush against him. She stilled at the shiver that coursed through her as his arousal pressed against her stomach. His lips left her mouth to skim the shell of her ear and the combination burned her.

"Are you afraid?" His voice was low and shaky and she remembered thinking it was odd to hear from him. Someone so smooth and collected was shaken. He had asked the question of her before as a way of scaring her, but this wasn't him trying to scare her. She could feel it in the way he spoke, in the way his voice faltered with his concern. Looking up into his face she desperately wanted to lie to him and say she wasn't but she was. So instead of pretending to be brave like she did with everything else in her life, she turned her gaze away from him and lowered her eyes. She sighed as his fingers brushed against her cheek a moment before he lifted her gently into his arms.

He nuzzled his face against her cheek and in a flash they were standing in his room. Seeing where they were only reminded her what they were doing and her head started to cloud with her unease.

He shifted her in his lap as he sat at the edge of the bed. The purr tickling her neck as he held her close. His arms were tight around her, but protective, as if he were afraid she would run from him if he let her go.

"I promise you, I would never harm you." His throaty tone sent a chill through her body making her toes curl. She had never had such a reaction before. Never had she been so afraid and yet, at the same time she didn't want it to stop.

With the way his body tensed when she reached to touch him she could tell it was taking all he had to treat her like the human she was.

"I don't want this to be because of the destined mate, aura transfer thing." She whispered. "I don't want that to be the reason for…I'm afraid to do something wrong…I mean…" The more she spoke the hotter her face got. And the less she understood what she was even trying to say.

His light laugh broke through her embarrassment surprising her. For someone who never laughed it was amazingly soothing and infectious. His golden eyes settled on her face as he lifted a hand to push the hair behind her ear. She found the action so uncharacteristic of him.

His lips brushed the crook of her neck and shoulder and her eyes closed unceremoniously. Grasping her hand he brought it to lay over his chest so she could feel his heart quicken under her touch.

"I assure you miko, our fated connection has nothing to do with this." His amusement carried in his voice and a blush spread over her cheeks. Hesitantly, she lifted her hand to trace a finger down his face much like he had done. Her features taking on the same seriousness and focus his had as she brushed his hair back to follow the point of his ear. It twitched under her touch and she let a light smile pull at her lips.

His eyes closed at her touch and she could tell by the way he clenched his jaw that he was trying to give her this. Letting her feel her way must have been so hard for him, for someone who was used to just doing without considering the other person.

Taking a breath to steady herself she leaned back to slid her fingers down the folds of his kimono so they would fall open. Raising her hands to his chest she hesitated. She had never been shy before but this was different He made her feel clumsy and frail. He made her feel…needed and wanted. If she hadn't thought it was real before she believed it now. The heat that washed over her flesh was real.

Glancing down at him she let her fingers play feather light over his shoulders to push the silk down his arms until it landed on the bed behind him. His lips curled back at his silent growl but he didn't move to touch her. She realized as she placed her hand over him that she hadn't really ever touched him before. Not like this. Not in this way.

Finding the courage she had she shifted on his lap to straddle his thighs so she could face him. Leaning forward, she placed her lips light against his neck. In return his hands tightened around her thighs leaving pricks in her skin where his claws held her.

She leaned back to really look at him and she saw the purple stripes rounded his ribs like hers did. Tracing them with her fingers she felt the shiver that rolled over him. She smiled at the fact that she had such an affect on him. She hadn't thought it possible to draw anything but a glare from him but as she ran her fingers over his abdomen she felt the muscles in his stomach contract against her touch.

"Look at me Sesshoumaru." She urged softly realizing that his eyes were still closed. She raised her hand to smooth the lines of his eyes and gave that smile that made his heart jump in his chest.

Opening his eyes, he looked up at her and watched as she slid her hands down his chest to her obi. He couldn't take his eyes off her hands as she unwrapped it to let it fall to the floor behind her. Her kimono fell open slightly down her chest and stomach to show that she hadn't put back on those garments she called underwear. At the sight his member tightened painfully against the silk of his pants.

"I am afraid." She whispered, her brown eyes catching his. "But not of you."

Her tone was light matching the pink tinge that covered her face and shoulders. But catching her eyes he realized he had forgotten the most important thing. That she was a virgin. He only hardened at the thought that no man had ever laid hands on her. That she would be his completely. It only made her so much more beautiful and pure in his eyes and that feeling of her being untouchable consumed him again. The feeling that he shouldn't taint her anymore than she already was.

She smiled sheepishly down at him before placing a kiss against his jaw and his doubt vanished. He wanted her, he needed her, but most of all he didn't want this with anyone but her.

Letting his features soften he leaned forward to draw his lips along her neck bringing a sigh from her. He didn't miss the way she tilted her head allowing him access to her. His mind swirled as the smell of her arousal hit him.

His teeth skimming her skin burned her. She shivered as he brushed her kimono off her shoulders letting the cool air hit her. Her body instantly warmed when his lips moved to taste her collarbone. She couldn't think.

His hands on her thighs tightened pulling her against him and her moan caught in her throat as his arousal came into contact with her heat making her ache. She didn't know what she wanted, she just knew she wanted him. She wanted his touch more than she had wanted anything in her life. At this moment she couldn't remember the last weeks, she couldn't comprehend anything but him against her. His growl washed over her as he pressed her hips against his and she groaned at the liquid heat that settled low at her center.

The sounds of her pleasure sounded low in his ear and his pride swelled at the fact that he could draw such a sound from his miko. Her body shivered against his as he wrapped his hand around her neck and skimmed his fangs over her shoulder. His fingers trailing down between her breasts and over her stomach rose chills in their wake. Expecting him to stop she gasped when he lowered to cup her between her thighs.

"Sess…" He growled against her ear quieting her and his fingers sliding against her dissolved anything else she would have said.

Sliding a finger into her he realized she was already wet for him and a growl surged through his chest at the realization. He wanted her now but he couldn't, he wouldn't.

Her hands tightened at his shoulders, her blunt nails digging into his skin. He moved his hand against her and she pushed herself forward earning a harsh growl in warning. Losing her kimono entirely, he spun her so her back was against his chest. She hissed as he pressed his finger back into her, her hands clenching in the material of his pants.

Pushing her head to the side against his shoulder he nipped her pulse point where he could smell her blood flowing through her.

"Submit miko." He warned harshly. She shook her head against his shoulder as she bit into her lip. "Foolish girl." He growled and her thoughts scattered as he took her breast into his hand as he added another finger into her. There was too much going on around her and his touched seemed to be everywhere. Her mind couldn't keep up. All she knew was that her body ached with the building pressure in her abdomen. She knew he was playing with her. His motions were too slow and it frustrated her to no end. He stroked her in a way that left her wanting more. She wanted to push against him but he would only punish her for it.

"Sesshoumaru…please." She breathed against his neck. Her breaths came sharp and quick, her knuckles turning white from her grip on him. He had to admit even he couldn't stand it much longer.

She took a sharp breath as his strokes quickened. Her head fell back and she could feel his tongue at her neck. Her eyebrows furrowed as her stomach tightened and she just knew she would explode from the pressure. She tried her hardest to fight it, but his words caressing her ear tore her. She knew the moment she gave in she would be his. Forever. The moment she submitted he would have her.

"Come for me miko." His whispered words were the last straw.

He felt her walls tighten around him and her body convulsed with its release. A cool sheen of sweat coated her skin and he took it in. Her taste, her scent. It made him dizzy with want. Her chest rose with her shaky breaths and he waited for her body to relax against his before laying her back against the bed.

Coming down from her high her eyes cleared as she rolled her head to watch him undress completely. She couldn't imagine anything feeling better but as she watched him shed his pants she could feel herself readying for him again. Her body shook in anticipation and she ached to have his warmth pressed over her. As he stood before her she let her eyes trail down his body. She had never lusted after boys before, but he wasn't just some boy. Her eyes fell and widened in horror. There was no way that was going inside her. He moved to walk around to the end of the bed and as he crawled over her she suddenly felt shy. She raised her arms over her chest and watched as he leaned down over her. He smirked at her reaction and pulled her arms out away from her body. Closing her eyes she turned her face away from his heated gaze.

"Don't hide from me Kagome." There it was again, her name falling from those perfectly sculpted lips. That alone drew her gaze back to his and she saw the sympathy there. He knew just as she did the pain she would feel. His hand trailed lightly over her hip and down the inside of her thigh to spread her legs for him to settle his body between them. She shivered as his tip slid against her entrance. He growled at her heat and her cheeks flushed at his reaction to her.

"You were worried about hurting me, your going to kill me." He smiled wickedly as he bent his head to bite her neck lightly before licking over the wound sending chills down her spine.

"I haven't killed you yet." His eyebrow quirked as she peaked down at him and her face paled.

"But your going to now, your so cruel." He would have been amused if her tone had matched her words. Instead of her normal sarcasm he saw her hesitation. He lifted her hand to his lips to nip her fingers before resting her hand against his chest.

Her nerves bunched as he started trailing her hand down his stomach.

"Don't be afraid of me Kagome." She licked her lips that had suddenly went dry as he continued down his body until her hand was pressing against him. Only then did he let her hand go to cup her cheek. His purr against her neck urging her forward. Glancing down at him her curiosity outweighed her embarrassment as she brushed her fingers down the length of him. She faltered as he growled near her ear but he nuzzled her neck assuringly.

He was soft in her hand and for some reason she hadn't expected that. He jerked against her as she stroked him and she looked up into his face to see he had his eyes shut tight. His jaw was locked shut with his fangs peaking through his lips. Curiously she wrapped her fingers around him and his breath fell sharp against her shoulder.

"Stop." He breathed. She really should have listened. But somewhere in the back of her mind she wanted to give to him what he had given her. Once again she really should have listened because before she knew what was happening he had her hands pinned by her head and he entered her with one quick thrust. Instantly the pain struck her. Her eyes watered letting tears fall freely down her face. He let her hands go and she flattened them against his chest. He finally pushed her hands back down and rubbed his cheek against hers. She tried to raise her hands again but he kept them pinned by her side. It took a minute to realize what he was saying.

"I'm so sorry Kagome." He was saying. "I lost control…it'll be alright." He licked away the tears from her face and nuzzled his nose against her neck. When he finally let her raise her arms she wrapped them around his neck. "I'm sorry…please." He pled kissing her shoulder. She had never heard him plead to anyone before. He had lost his control with her and was pleading for her forgiveness. How often would she hear that from a youkai. Taking a breath the pain faded to an ache. He stayed still over her and she knew it must have been torture for him to remain that way. She trailed her hands over his shoulder blades and let her fingers play down his spine. She smiled as he shivered against her.

"Please." He begged for a whole different reason this time. His body was visibly shaking as he held himself still above her. She moved her hips against his drawing a low growl from him. She smiled lightly up at him and pulled his face to hers.

"Its alright." She whispered kissing him. His growl continued against her lips as he pulled out and slowly entered back into her.

Her slick heat tortured him on a level he hadn't thought possible. Her walls closed tight around him and it took all he had not to slam into her like every instinct he had told him to. Her hiss of pleasure assured him that she was ok. Her hands roaming his back felt like fire to him and he desperately wanted to have his way with her but he wouldn't risk hurting her again. He couldn't stand her tears, but it was driving him insane. To his satisfaction she agreed because she lifted her legs to wrapped around his waist and her moans rang in his ear as the position pulled him deeper. His slow, cautious movements frustrating her as much as they did him. He growled and pushed her head back to expose her throat.

"Submit to me." He commanded. To his surprise she rolled her head to the side in submission. The action pushing his youkai to the surface. He thrust against her letting his youkai take him. He could feel his fangs elongating readying to mark her. His own passion rose with every thrust, every instinct he had ordered him to bite down on her pulse and make her his but he couldn't do that to her, not yet. Having her surround him, with her openly accepting his body into hers, it was enough. Having her like this was enough. She was his, forever his, only his…and he didn't need to mark her to show it. So fighting the temptation he clamped his mouth shut allowing himself to feel her, all of her, as she clung to him.

His teeth grazed her shoulder and she knew the pain would come when he marked her. She expected it, but the only ache she felt was that familiar building of pressure. It was so much more than before and she didn't know if she could stand it. She could feel her stomach clench and he only drove faster into her taking her to a height she hadn't known existed. She couldn't breath as he held her tight in his arms, his claws raising her skin where he cut into her sides. At the slight pain her pleasure exploded and she cried out as her release tore through her.

Her heat surrounding him sent him over the edge. As much as he tried to draw it out his need pushed him to his own release. His growl echoed through the room and she reveled at the weight of him against her chest. She ran her hands through his damp hair as their bodies still shook from their aftershocks. He shifted above her and she could feel him inside her. It was a weird and yet pleasant feeling. It was a closeness that she cherished.

Warmth slid down over her shoulder as he rose. Moving her fingers over it she saw blood on her fingers and looked up at him in shock. His gold eyes washed over her and she saw the pain there. He had clamped his teeth so tight his fangs had punctured through his lip. She watched in horror as he opened his mouth to pull the fangs from his lip. They instantly receded back to normal leaving his lip a bloody mess.

"Why would you do that?" She asked raising her fingers to his mouth.

"I didn't want to cause you any more pain." She shook her head at his reasoning.

"But that's how you claim your mate. Wasn't that the point?" His hand rose to her cheek and she automatically closed her eyes and pushed her cheek against his palm. She instantly felt empty when he pulled out of her to lay by her side. He smirked at the look that crossed her face and pulled her against him.

"No my Kagome, to gain your trust and love for you to share yourself with me, is enough. We can mate anytime, but this was what I desired." He watched as she absently wiped the blood from his mouth and he licked it from her fingers.

She kept expecting him to get up and leave her. She had readied herself for that, she had almost planned on it. But as he fanned her hair out over the pillow and skimmed his fingers along the faded marks over her ribs she smiled. This was real. His care and concern was real. She had hoped…

She pulled him closer and cuddled his body close to hers. His hand tangled in her hair holding her head against his chest. His heart thudded against her ear and she wrapped her arms around his waist. His chin laid over the top of her head as his body surrounded her with his warmth.

"Yes, this is enough." He whispered softly into her hair as he pulled the covers up around them. As she closed her eyes to the heaviness of sleep neither of them notice that the jewel nestled against the column of her throat glowed a light blue.


	26. Losing Hope

**Chapter 25, this story should be coming to a close within the next few chapters depending on how much I want to drag it out. It almost made me cry writing this toward the end, just thought I would warn you.**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own.

**Recap: **She watched in horror as he opened his mouth to pull the fangs from his lip. They instantly receded back to normal leaving his lip a bloody mess.

"Why would you do that?" …"I didn't want to cause you any more pain." …"But that's how you claim your mate. Wasn't that the point?"…"No my Kagome, to gain your trust and love for you to share yourself with me, is enough. We can mate anytime, but this was what I desired." …"Yes, this is enough." He whispered softly into her hair

**Chapter 25: **

**Losing Hope**

Kagome woke with her limbs tangled with his, his arms loosely draped over her. She laid there for moments just listening to his heart beat against her ear taking in everything that had happened. She had never dreamed that her life would lead her here, to this moment.

Leaning back slightly she saw that the warmth of the morning sun washed over their naked skin. It glowed against his face, like the glow of the fire once had, turning it orange. Seeing that he was still sleeping she took the time to run her fingers over the contours of his arm and over the muscle that clenched in automatic reaction to her touch.

Moving up to trace the planes of his chest she lingered in her touches, realizing she hadn't the night before. She remembered how he had memorized her face with his fingers and smiled at how focused he had been on her. As if something would surely change and he wouldn't catch it.

Slowly, she rolled over onto her other side to catch his hand in hers. She followed the lines of his palm, tracing over his fingers and claws. Raising her hand to flatten against his, she noticed how his hand swallowed hers. All the small things she hadn't realized before was floating to her. The way he held her, the way he had plead for her forgiveness and spoke to her as if she were his world. Maybe she was overstating it, maybe she was making it bigger than it was, but…he had been so…uncharacteristically Sesshoumaru.

His arm tightened around her waist pulling her back against him and she sighed. She could feel his chest rise as he buried his nose against her neck, taking in her scent. She automatically tilted her head to the side and his light growl vibrated against her back. Once again, his whole body relaxed at her scent.

"I never knew I smelled so good." She whispered not wanting to ruin the atmosphere of the room.

"Hmm.." He hummed in the back of his throat as he leaned forward against her back, allowing his hair to fall over her shoulder. Not being able to help herself, she ran her fingers through his silken strands spreading them out over her chest.

"How do you feel?" He asked nuzzling her cheek.

"Sore, but I think I'll manage." Smiling, she let her mind wander back to the one question that always seemed to be on the tip of her tongue.

"What do I smell like?" She asked curiously. He didn't answer for a moment as his finger traced circles over her chest and shoulder, but she was patient. She had learned to wait and listen, sooner or later he would answer her in his own time, his own way. When he did speak his voice was rough, his breath falling sensually against her ear.

"Like the night. Calm, peaceful, subdued, everything your not." She pouted at that and she could hear him chuckle under his breath behind her. Perturbed, she sat up with all intent to throw her clothes on and leave the room when his arm wrapped around her to pull her back down.

"Your not leaving me in this bed alone again." He said pulling her back under the covers. She turned in his arms, her peeved stare going completely unnoticed as he let his eyes close. She would have tried to get up again but there really was no point. Giving up, she let herself relax. Even as his breaths evened back out his fingers continued drawing patters over her skin, running down her arm and between her fingers. She shivered as he ran over her hip and back up her side only pausing briefly where the faded blue marks stained over her ribs.

"I truly am my fathers son." He said so softly it startled her.

"Does that scare you?" She asked watching his face for any reaction.

"Yes." He breathed barely above a whisper. He never once looked at her, his eyes were still closed as if sleeping. She reached out to outline the marks over his cheek. His gold eyes opened slightly to take her in.

"Why?" His hand had stopped, settling over the marks on her ribs. His gold eyes were completely open now, staring at her. She felt like he could see through her, see straight to her soul.

"It means I have to watch you die one day." She saddened, but not for herself. What must it be like to know that you will outlast the person you care about. And not only for a few years, but centuries. He would outlive her by thousands of years still, maybe even longer than that. Any pups they would have, though would live longer than her, would also possibly die sooner than he.

"I wish it had been differently." She said dismayed.

"I don't." His answer surprised her. She would have thought he would have wanted anything but this. But his next words overjoyed her more than she thought they would. "I wouldn't change a thing." She smiled as he let his eyes fall closed again. Though she wished she could lay there all day he and she both needed to get up. So letting the seriousness of their conversation take a backseat she let her playful overbearing attitude he just…adored….bubble to the surface. Not to mention he had started drawing patterns over her body again and she didn't know how much longer she could stand the way his claws tickled her skin.

"Excuse me" She said interrupting the havoc he was causing her body. "Don't you have responsibilities? I don't know, like running your lands or killing unsuspecting pathetic youkai." He peaked an eye open to look at her before letting it close tight again.

"Thought you said even I needed a break." She smiled as he repeated what she had told him in the village.

"Ah, but have you not been taking a break for a week my lord." She tisked pinching his nose lightly. "Don't think I haven't noticed you stalking me." He growled a warning as she poked his side. Giggling she pulled at a strand of his hair that hung over his shoulder.

"You've lost your threat Sesshoumaru. I'm sad to say you have backtracked…lost you evilness…completely pup-sized yourself." She giggled at the made up word. Though obviously he didn't agree because suddenly she was under him, her hands pinned by her head. For an instant his eyes narrowed on her, his snarl pulling his lips back over his teeth. She might have looked worried for a fraction of a second before the corners of her mouth pulled back into a smile.

"You like my prodding." For the first time he sighed. Dropping his head toward her shoulder he took in the scent that covered her skin. No matter how many times he caught it he couldn't seem to get enough.

"I thought we were having a moment." He finally said lifting his head to stare down at her in his displeasure.

"We were, a really good one at that." She smiled before considering why she really did need to get up. "But you do have things you need to do…as well as I." He had rolled off of her and was sitting at the edge of the bed now. Reaching up to twirl the jewel between her fingers she thought of the last shard and what she would need to do from there. "I need to speak with Sazue." She said absently pulling the covers over her as she sat up. "I thought I saw a stream out back that I could…" She stopped when his whole body went rigid.

"Use the pond you burned the flowers in." She moved behind him so she could rest her hand over his shoulder. His tension eased with her gentle touch.

"But…the pond…" She tried again not seeing his reason for diverting her.

He turned sharply to look at her then, his eyes letting her know just how serious he was.

"Do not!" He said his voice giving her the chills. "Do not!, use the stream behind the mansion."

"You shouldn't have told me that, you know I'm curious by nature." He caught her hand and his grip was harsh though not bruising.

"This is not a game miko, do not disobey me. For your life, do not disobey me this." She frowned and jerked her hand out of his grasp.

"Ok Sesshoumaru, I promise." He seemed relieved by her answer. Though on the inside she was running through the ways she could tell him to stuff that order. She probably should have listened to that too. You would think by now she would have learned to listen to him when he told her something.

Of course, being the miko she was, what did she do? As soon as he had left her to herself she instantly dressed and went in search of the doomed stream. She hadn't planned on going far, just enough to see the area since she had only just barely made out the stream in her earlier exploration of the mansion , surely that wouldn't get her into trouble. Just taking a little closer look. One glimpse and she would go back around to the small little insignificant pond to call for Sazue. Though, it didn't quite work that way. Nothing ever worked out the way she planned these days. She was sure she would throw this into the 'regret I ever did it' pile.

As soon as she came around the corner the jewel started glowing a whitish blue around her neck. It rose off her skin pulling against the chain. It was being beckoned, but by what? That soft music flowed through her head but she took a step back remembering how serious Sesshoumaru had been. It didn't look like anything extraordinary to her, a stream with what looked like a large dojo surrounding it off to the side. Surprisingly though, it wasn't the stream that called to her. So she instantly knew it wasn't Sazue. Every instinct she had told her to turn back.

For her life's sake she did try, she really did try to turn back, but like she had told him, her curiosity got the best of her. She stepped forward holding the thought that he wouldn't ever harm her in her mind. No, surely he wouldn't harm her, he had promised that to her last night. But then again, that was last night and there were worse ways to punish someone.

Biting her lip she let the jewel pull her closer to the building. The jewel knew best right? It knew what was good for her, what she needed. Looking around to make sure no one saw her, she slid open the door and stepped inside. The room was empty except for the mirrors that lined its walls. Everywhere she looked she saw her reflection. The jewel suddenly dropped back against her neck. It was warm against her flesh but she was distracted by the music. It was different, and yet the same. It was light, and calm, yet it held some unseen danger.

_Miko…_

She turned at the voice but could see nothing unusual. There was no one in sight.

_Miko…touch the mirror if you wish. I would very much like to speak with thee._

"Why have you called me here?" Kagome asked the empty room.

_Touch the mirror miko…_

The voice held amusement and she was slightly aware of the ice it held. Not really knowing what to do she stepped forward and pressed her finger against the mirror. The whole room lit up with a red glow and suddenly she was staring at a woman with bluish white hair, the red markings over her cheeks marking her once as Lady of the West.

"But your…" She couldn't speak as the woman turned her gold eyes on her. A light smile playing at her lips.

_Sesshoumaru's mother miko, yes…_

Kagome crossed her arms. "You realize your son is going to kill me and its all your fault."

_He does not have to know. _

Kagome watched as her figure moved from one mirror to the next as if she were walking around her analyzing her.

"Why did you call me here?" She asked making herself dizzy trying to keep up with her movements.

_You are my son's Destined Mate are you not._

A blush rose on her cheeks as she gave a slight nod.

_What will you do miko when you find the last jewel shard? I have listened and watched, and you realize my concern for my son's future. He has never had such a strong fondness for humans, but even I can't deny him of his destiny. He has fallen for you in more ways than one. You see, I can't allow you to simply leave._

Kagome ground her teeth and took a step back at the venom she head buried under that calm exterior. What was it with these inuyoukai about control.

"I honestly don't know what I will do. I assure you that I understand your concern. I am a threat to you both, and my leaving would ruin him now. But I must do what I must. The jewel must be finished." Her eyes clouded at the thought of what could happen. She looked back up at the figure to see that her soft features had turned harsh, angry. Seeing Kagome's reaction her features changed back to a soft smile.

_Come closer miko, let me see you._

Kagome was hesitant, but she was drawn, pulled toward the mirror where the woman's figure stood. She was so close now she could make out the lines on her face, she had lived a hard life, this youkai. The woman reached toward her, the mirror shimmering as she drew close to the glass. Kagome realized the jewel lifting from her neck and quickly snatched it back. The woman's features once again turned hateful. She slammed her fists against the mirror and Kagome was pushed back by an invisible force.

_He will never allow you to leave! You mustn't finish the jewel and your foolish to think he would let you! Do you have any idea the consequences? Why do you think he hides it away!_

Anger rocked her as she steadied herself and tucked the jewel under her collar. Her words finally registered in her mind and she stumbled back.

"What? What do you mean he hides it away?" She asked, her frustration creasing her brow. The woman laughed as she moved around the walls of the dojo.

_Foolish girl. Did you think you had a choice! Did you think he would just let you go home to leave him to rot?_

Her figure multiplied to show on all the mirrors. Kagome couldn't breath, the red glow was blinding her now, suffocating her. She ran from the dojo, the door slamming shut behind her. She tripped and fell to the ground, the mud from the riverbank splashing up in her face and coating her hands. Looking over her shoulder the dojo was back to normal. A quiet surrounded the area, the only sound was that of the stream. Pushing herself to her feet she ran, ran as far as she could from the area, from the dojo, from his mother's figure. From her would be truths.

She didn't stop to take a breath or even think until she was sinking low in one of the many springs in the mansion. The steam clung to her skin clearing her mind. The jewel hung harmlessly around her neck. Why would it have led me there? It was because she was youkai, she wanted the jewel. No, that couldn't have been it. There must be a real reason behind it. But for the life of her she couldn't see it. Her mind kept replaying one particular part.

_Why do you think he hides it away!_

Why would…She shook her head not wanting to remember her words. They couldn't have been true. He wouldn't do that, not after everything, not after what they had been through. He had even told her from the start that he would willingly let her go even if it would hurt him in the end. No, she was wrong…she was lying. Coming to terms with that wasn't as easy as she thought it would be.

She was so occupied by the thoughts of her reasoning that she forgot she hadn't been allowed back there. She had made herself believe that he wouldn't find out but she had forgotten one little thing. He could smell her, her scent clung to everything she touched, everywhere she went.

The door of the spring slammed open and with one glance, she knew he knew.

"Sesshoumaru…" She asked hoping she was wrong. Wrapping her arms around herself she moved back against the side and sank down in the water.

"What did I say! Why can't you ever listen!" He came around and pulled her up by her arm pinching her skin. She turned to look at him and he pushed her back into the wall. He looked pissed, royally pissed. The growls that racked him now were not those light purring growls she had heard the night before. No, he was furious. He slammed his fist into the wall by her head and she flinched.

"Don't you think there was a reason I told you no! Just once, just once I asked you to mind me."

"Your angry with me!" She finally yelled back finding her courage, which was hard to do naked in front of an angry youkai. " Where is the last shard Sesshoumaru?" Anger distorted his features and she knew she had made a mistake. She knew instantly that she should have waited to confront him.

She could tell he badly wanted to hit her, beat her, something anything. She half expected it as she closed her eyes, waiting. One second she was waiting, expecting, the next she was turned with her front pressed against the spring wall, his naked body hard against her back his forgotten clothes laying on the floor.

"Next time you will listen." He growled harshly against her ear as he nudged her legs apart and slammed into her. Her body convulsed at the unexpected intrusion. He wasn't careful or controlled. He was furious. Fiery guided him as he entered her over and over until her legs were weak. She came twice before he turned her to face him. But he wasn't done, his eyes were dark as he lifted her legs around him and entered her again.

"Sesshoumaru…"She pleaded. "I can't take anymore." He nipped her neck roughly, his fangs leaving pinpricks in her neck. She held his head against her shoulder as he pinched and nipped her skin. His claws dug into her sides, leaving welts where he allowed just a hint of his poison to touch her but the pain was welcomed. It mixed with his fierce pleasure and shook her until she couldn't stand it. She cried out as they came together. After moments his body seemed to ease, the anger flooding out of him, being taken out on her and washed away. His forehead rested against hers, his eyes were closed and his breaths were shallow as they fell across her cheek. Hesitantly, she reached her hands up to cup his face and his eyes opened meeting hers.

"Did I hurt you?" She didn't know what she expected, but those words were not it. She smiled shaking her head, her laughter flooding her eyes. "Your infuriating."

"I know." She agreed.

"You should have listened you stupid girl."

"Trust me I know. I will follow your orders to the letter from now on." With his forehead still pressed against hers he let the corner of his mouth quirk upwards.

"You met my mother." He said smirking.

"She is a very very unhappy youkai." She said pursing her lips. "And you have some explaining to do, whenever your done being angry with me of course."

"Of course." He agreed taking in her nonchalant attitude toward what he had just done.

"Though I quite like the affect it has." She added as if it were just coming to her attention. He growled low in his chest as he nuzzled her neck and licked over the marks his fangs left.

"Why didn't your fangs lengthen to mark me?" She asked noticing his fangs had remained the same.

"I was too angry with you to want a mate that doesn't listen." He said simply. He said it so evenly she thought he was serious. That is until he leaned back and eyed her curiously as if waiting for her to catch his lie.

"You shouldn't lie my lord. Its dishonoring."

0o0o0o0o0o0

After that incident she decided she wouldn't wander around anymore. Everyone had skeletons in their closets but he had the whole damn thing. Yea, it was safe to say she would never doubt him again. She actually stayed by his side most the day after that. Rin had left with Jaken on Ah Un to gather supplies for the servants so she really had nothing better to do. Though she did do some snooping.

As he worked over his desk she read over the titles of the library of books he had on the shelves. It was like a bookstore without the hassle of paying. Just for curiosity's sake, she read on mating and it didn't really say anything about Destined Mates. Mostly because of how rare it was. She found herself getting carried away by their rules and traditions. She didn't bother him often just randomly for him to clear something up.

She would have thought her bothersome but she would catch him staring at her from time to time, just watching her. He was probably amazed that she was taking the time to see his life how it really was. She hadn't lied, she didn't want him to be made to suffer alone simply because she was selfish and wanted to go home.

Home… It sounded really good, but the longer she stayed with him, the longer she had time to read up about him and talk with him and hear him speak to her as if she were his equal, she lost track of time and purpose. Home didn't seem so important anymore.

Neither did the jewel shard. He admitted to her that he had it so she supposed that the jewel leading her to his mother did have a purpose. He had hoped to use it on Rin to help lengthen her life but it had been a mute point. The shard had no affect on humans. Though she was hesitant to take it. The longer she was with him the less she wanted to touch it, be near it. He locked it away in his drawer and she would glance its way from time to time but she had no interest in attaching it to the jewel around her neck.

After a while she realized it was fear that held her back. She didn't know when she had realized it, but she was afraid it would send her back home and throw away the key. She had grown attached, in more ways than one, to Sesshoumaru, to his castle, to Rin.

Hours passed, days, months. She remained by his side for four months, and he remained by hers. After that first day it had nothing to do with being sexual, he walked with her, sat with her, spoke with her. To be honest they spend very little time in his room. She had become accustom to staying up late into the night watching the stars from the balcony. Though she told herself she was fine, she knew she didn't sleep because she would see Sazue calling to her.

Since the middle of the second month she had been persistent in her dreams, as if she could tell she was hesitating while the shard was right there for the taking. So she didn't sleep. Sesshoumaru would hold her tight and trace his patterns over her back as she told him about her time. In the last four months this had become normal, but he was starting to feel her unease just as she was toward Sazue. The jewel would glow when she walked by the small pond, so after a while she even avoided that. But finally, it had become inevitable.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

She blew her bangs up out of her eyes as a shooting star took off across the sky. She would have made a wish but that's what the jewel was for. Sesshoumaru came up behind her, she didn't have to turn to know it was him. She could sense him better than she could anyone else. She would know him better than her own mother at this point. He came around, his hand cupping her neck. She instinctively turned her face toward him and his fingers traveled up the column of her throat.

"You should speak with her." He said. She knew he would. She knew she needed to as well. "See what she says, then decide." She could hear the desolate note in his voice. He knew what would come just as she did. She didn't need Sazue to tell her. But for hope's sake she would speak with her, hope that she was wrong.

Finally getting up from her seat she turned to him. His golden eyes had lightened over the months, showing her emotions she hadn't thought possible for him. She slide her arms around his waist and flattened her cheek to his chest. Her favorite past time had become this, listening to the rhythm of his heart beat in time to her own. His fingers combed through her hair just like they always would. She sighed knowing what she had to do.

With his hand flat against the base of her spine, he followed her out into the garden. The moon shown in the pond water with a shimmer that she remembered all to well. She paused only a moment to remove the jewel from around her neck before stepping forward. Sesshoumaru stayed where he was and she glanced back at him to see him give her that curt nod in reassurance.

Opening her palms out over the pond she let the mostly blue jewel roll over her fingers.

"Sazue." She called disheartened. "I need your guidance."

That familiar white light formed in the center of the pond. In moments, Sazue's transparent figure floated out from the pond to move toward her. She didn't speak, she simple walked around her, briefly eyeing Sesshoumaru as she made a complete round to stand back in front of her. Her smile was honest and sincere.

_Kagome, my dear Kagome_

_I can feel your pain. Why haven't you called on me before now?_

Her question was light, calm. She was not harsh or judging. And under her questioning eyes Kagome broke. Falling to her knees she bowed her head.

"I have been afraid." She could feel Sazue's presence as her figure kneeled down at her side. Her ghostly white fingers warmed her chin letting her know she wanted to look at her.

_You have made me proud and you have gone farther than any miko has, but it is time. The jewel needs to be complete. Its power is unbalanced when it is broken. Do you understand Kagome? _

Her voice was careful, knowing that at any moment she would lose herself. Lose herself to what she wanted instead of what she needed to do. But finally, after a moment, she nodded.

"Yes, I understand." Sazue's figure tilted its head to the side analyzing her. Her eyes turned to Sesshoumaru then.

_You have had a hard road Mi'Lord. I am joyous that you have found the happiness you so long searched for. _

Her tone should have been appraising, but it was deafening. It tore at not only her heart but at his as well.

_Ask your question child. _

She said switching back to Kagome. She only shook her head not wanting to hear the answer. Not wanting to be reminded. But she had to, if only to be sure it was true.

"What happens when I add the last piece to the jewel?" She heard herself ask though it didn't sound like her. She used to be so happy and full of life, now her voice was laced with dread. The moment she saw Sazue's face she knew. Before she even said anything in answer she knew. She wrapped her arms around herself, letting her forehead touch the ground she sat upon. The tears rolled like coals down her face, scorching her cheeks. She could feel Sesshoumaru at her back now, leaning over her bent form, holding her the best he could.

_You will have one wish Kagome. Make it wisely for it is only one. Once the wish has been seen through your mind, once it has left your lips, the jewel will throw you back from whence you came. You will remember all, your memories will remain, but you will never be allowed back here again. With your wish the jewel itself will disappear, no one will be able to use it again. _

Sazue's eyes were filled with her own tears as the emotions washed over her through them. Kagome shook her head rapidly, not wanting to believe her words. Sesshoumaru brushed her hair to one side off her neck. His fingers on her were harsh reminders of what she would leave behind.

Sazue took a step back. There was nothing left for her to say. She slowly moved back to the white circle at the center of the pond. With a single tear falling down her cheek to ripple against the water, she disappeared, the light fading with her along with all their hope.


	27. Goodbye Is The Hardest Part

**Chapter 26.….I'll leave it to you…Only one more chapter…**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Inuyasha.

**Recap: **"What happens when I add the last piece to the jewel?"

_You will have one wish Kagome. Make it wisely for it is only one./ once it has left your lips, the jewel will throw you back from whence you came./you will never be allowed back here again. _

She slowly moved back to the white circle at the center of the pond./the light fading with her along with all their hope.

**Chapter 26: **

**Goodbye Is The Hardest Part**

Kagome managed to pull herself up from the ground but she found herself right back where she had started. Staring out the window of the balcony.

She was considering the consequences of just letting the shard rot in his desk drawer. What would it hurt? The jewel had went this long without being complete and nothing had went wrong. All the pieces were together in the mansion with all except for one hanging around her neck. That had to count for something. All her hard work had to matter somewhere along the way. What did she get from this?

Sesshoumaru came in the door behind her but she didn't turn to look at him. She knew what she would see on his face, the pain. The loss of her already settling in to control his features. Features that just months ago would have showed her absolutely nothing. Now she couldn't look at him from all the emotion she would see on his perfect face.

He came up behind her and brushed the hair off the back of her neck. He had once told her that her scent was strongest there. And, just as she knew he would, he pressed his lips against her pulse and took a deep breath. She closed her eyes at the action that had become second nature to him. His fingers ran up the length of her arm, starting from the tips of her fingers slowly moving up over the crease of her elbow and up into the sleeve of the kimono she wore. His kimono, the one that showed she was supposed to be there with him, the kimono of the Lady of the West. He had not marked her as such, but he claimed her as his openly. He told her it was enough. Having her with him, was enough. She turned in his grasp and tried to force a smile to her lips but it didn't reach her eyes.

"Fate bound us together and it will tear us apart." He said so low that she just made out his words. "Fate seemed kind for a time, but you know as well as I that you will complete the jewel and be forced back to your time. What then?" He asked finally lifting his eyes to hers. "My youkai will search you out for the rest of eternity. It will not rest until it finds you. It will slowly tear at me until there is nothing left." She didn't know why he was saying this. She knew, she didn't want to hear it, but he needed to say it. He needed to repeat it out loud.

The pad of his thumb skimmed over her cheek and instead of leaning toward him she backed away. She wouldn't let this happen. It wasn't supposed to be like this. She shook her head and pushed his hand away.

"I don't have to complete it." She said her words growing frantic the more she thought about it. "Nothing has happened, maybe we…" He was shaking his head and the action frustrated her.

"Why wont you even let me try." She cried, her tears already hot on her face. "You wont even consider it!"

"Because I know it's a mute point Kagome!" He said his voice raising over hers. "Do you think I want this? Do you think I want to live without you, to have my soul torn apart by a stubborn human girl! There is nothing we can do. This is your destiny! Stand up to it!"

"I don't give a shit about my destiny!"

He pushed her back against the wall in his rage, trapping her wrists beside her head.

"Tomorrow I will give you the shard and you will go home." His voice shook and she could feel the resonance, the pain his words brought to himself. She shook her head not wanting to believe what he was saying. He let her go to run a finger down her face.

"I just wish…for one thing." He said solemnly.

"Anything." She said knowing she wouldn't refuse him.

"I just want one more night with you." Her throat constricted with the sorrow his wish flooded her with. She watched as he stepped back away from her and stripped himself of his clothes. Sitting on the edge of the bed, his gold eyes took her in, beckoning her. With tears in her eyes she let her kimono fall to pool at her feet. His gaze burned her as he let his gold eyes skim over the entirety of her body. Moving forward she straddled his waist, his hands moving to settle at her hips. Every inch of their bodies touched intimately and yet time stood still. He buried his lips against her neck as his hands caressed her body. There was nothing sexual about the way he touched her. The way his hands slowly traveled up her sides and over her breasts. Over her shoulders and neck. She pressed her cheek against his and let her tears fall down his skin leaving glistening tracks in their wake.

She clutched him like he was her lifeline. His hands splayed against her bare back and she shivered. He memorized her like he had that first night, this time tracing every curve with precision. His fingers running over her spine with a tenderness she had never before seen. The warmth of his own silent tears rolling over her shoulder and down her back sent an ache through her very soul. She squeezed her eyes shut allowing more tears to cascade down her cheeks.

"I love you." She whispered, her words light against his ear. "Forever, I will love you." Her voice faltered in her grief.

"I will find you." His lips moved against her shoulder as he spoke. She pulled back to look into his gold eyes and it tore her apart to do so.

He was in pain, and she didn't know what to do. So, she did the only thing she knew to do, she kissed him. His arms wrapped tightly around her pulling her to him. His pain was her own, everywhere he touched her was filled with it.

"I will find you." He repeated against her lips. The promise tore at her insides. Kissing the column of her throat, he lifted her, entering her with a lingering slowness that brought a sigh to her lips. And it was there, during their last night together, that he made love to her slowly. With a passion that neither of them knew they possessed. With a love that had been growing for months. A love that consumed them so completely it was all they could feel. It was that night, when he knew he would soon lose her forever, that he marked her as his mate.

That night went by slowly. She was glad for that, though it only drew out the inevitable. By the time morning came she was sure he had memorized every part of her, from her toes to her eyelashes. Come morning the sun poured in around them and for hours he refused to let her go. She didn't complain, she had no desire to get up sooner than need be. The mark over her neck throbbed but she didn't care. It was her line to him, her connection to him even after she would be gone. She cherished the pain.

But it came time when she had to get up. She swallowed the dread that begged her to scream and throw another tantrum but she wouldn't do that to him. Not today, not after that night. After they got up out of the bed he never touched her again. He didn't lean down to smell her, he didn't run his fingers over her cheek like he always had when he walked by her. He didn't look at her. His golden eyes never settled on her again.

She took the time to speak with Rin, explain it all to her. She was sad, but somehow she understood. She had grown more than they realized and it made it easier for her to say goodbye. It was later that she knocked on his door and she noticed how the shard was already laying out on his desk, ready for her. She held her head high as she moved toward it, her fingers hovering over its surface. She glanced up at him. He had moved from his seat to lean back against the wall, his eyes were shadowed as he watched the shard. Tears gathered in her eyes and she wished he would look at her, just one more time she wanted him to run his gold eyes over her. She wanted to feel his breath at her neck while he breathed her in. But he didn't move.

Taking a deep breath, she lifted the shard in her hand. Jerking the jewel from her neck she heard the pop of the chair as it broke. She wouldn't need it anymore after all. She held them separately with the jewel in one hand and the shard in the other. She glanced up one last time, hoping. But his eyes were trained on the jewel.

Finally, with no other way to stall, she pushed her palms together and the blue glow that was all hers consumed her hands. The light faded sooner than she had hoped it would. Pulling them apart she let the jewel dangle by its chain. It was completely blue now, there were no spider web veins, no pink that gave any clue of the jewel it once had been. Sadly, she realized her purpose. All this time, it had been him. Seeing the true him, showing him a kindness that he had lost. Her purpose had always been him. To make him happy, just once. To show him what he could have. Though now, she didn't know if he was better off knowing. They always said it was better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all….but she didn't know if it was true. She let her eyes wash over him one last time, but he had turned his gaze away from her direction completely now.

A tear fell down her cheek and she knew what she would wish for. She had known all along what it would be. She knew from the moment she first saw him look at her with something other than hate in his eyes. With that thought, she made her choice.

_I wish…_

It was then, as the last word fell from her lips, when the blue light of the jewel surrounded her, that he turned to her. His gold eyes met hers and she knew why he hadn't been able to look at her. His eyes were red with his anger and frustration, they were red from crying for her. They were tainted with the love she had shown him, and she knew he would never be able to go back to the demon he once had been. The jewels power swallowed her, taking the image of him and slowly erasing it from her view. And in seconds, he was gone.


	28. Wishing For Happiness

**Final Chapter….I hope you all have enjoyed it!**

**And it might be too late, but I got a review a while ago asking if they could draw out what they thought Kagome's new outfit looked like. I have no reason to turn that down. I am very curious to see how people see what I write. Feel free to draw anything. I would like it very much if I could see the finished project. Since everyone really sees things differently I wont take credit for what you draw because someone else could take the same description and draw it differently. I look forward to seeing what you come up with. Just remember that if you send an anonymous review I can't reply to you. So this is the best I got. I hope the person who sent the review see's this. Thanks very much for asking permission. ^_^**

**Disclaimer: **I only own the words on the screen.

**Recap: **A tear fell down her cheek and she knew what she would wish for./It was then, as the last word fell from her lips, then when the blue light of the jewel surrounded her, that he turned to her./The jewels power swallowed her, taking the image of him and slowly erasing it from her view. And in seconds, he was gone.

**Final Chapter:**

**Wishing For Happiness**

_I wish…_

Just as Sazue had told her, the moment the words had left her mouth she had found herself at the bottom of the well with all her memories intact. The jewel was gone and she was finally back home, except, it wasn't home anymore.

She laid there at the bottom of the well for what seemed like forever. Her heart broken, torn to pieces by the hand fate had dealt her. When she finally pulled herself from the well she was a twenty year old miko with demon energy coursing through her veins and mated to a youkai she would never see again. Fate was so cruel.

Her mother greeted her cheerfully, happy to have her home after so long. Her brother had grown handsomely from that little boy she remembered into a fine young man. She had missed their aging. She had missed her grandfathers passing. But nothing stung worse than the pain of missing Sesshoumaru. It had only been moments and she missed everything about him.

But that was three years ago…

Now she sat outside in the warm summers air with jean shorts and a white tank top. A sketchbook in her hand for the memories of the past, and a camera at her side for the memories to come.

Looking up, a little girl played across the way and she randomly picked up her camera. She did that a lot these days. Watching the girl a moment came back to her, a time during those months she had spent with Sesshoumaru.

She remembered asking him what he would name his child if he ever received an heir. This was one of many random questions she had asked him trying to figure him out. Though she repeated this one often simply because she liked his answer. The answer to this one in particular always made her smile. He always said the same thing.

"_I would name them Sanyu."_

He would say this after a moment of consideration, though she knew he hadn't really needed to think about it. The answer never changed. It hadn't mattered how she phrased it or whether it was a boy or girl, his answer had been unchangeable. After a while, realizing that the meaning of the word was unknown to her, she asked him why.

He would say…

"_It means 'Happiness'."_

He had thought it fitting since she had tried so hard to bring happiness into his life. She smiled at the memory, one of her favorites. Though at times it depressed her.

The girl turned to her, just as she snapped the picture, and smiled at her from across the way. She liked taking pictures of her because she was so photogenic. Always energetic and smiling.

The girls name…was Sanyu.

The exact name her father had blessed her with over three years ago. Kagome loved her white hair that hung to her waist, her golden eyes that never seemed to miss a thing.

She loved that little girl with every fiber of her being.

But as she ran toward her, everything about her reminded her of him. And a tear escaped her eye only to be quickly wiped away before Sanyu jumped into her arms.

The sun was beginning to fade from the summer day and she could hear her mother calling Sanyu back to the house for her bath. With a sloppy kiss that left more drool than kiss on her cheek, she smiled as she watched her little legs skip their way eagerly back to the house.

Sighing, finally alone, she cried as she did every afternoon. Sesshoumaru had been wrong, she had enough of him inside her to feel the Destined Mate's pull. And it was slowly eating away at her, had been for three years. She didn't know how long she sat there, but the sun had faded almost completely. Only the light orange hues were left to color the yard in front of her, to fall upon the road that ran by the front of the house right outside the gate. She watched the last few leaves from that fall scatter across the gravel. Finally wiping her tears aside she gathered her things and turned to the house.

She didn't know what made her stop. There were no footsteps behind her to draw her attention. Her name falling from someone's lips wouldn't have stopped her. She didn't reply to her name much these days when spoken by strangers. Besides she heard her name often from him, in her mind she would imagine it. It was her imagination again. Her longing tormenting her.

Not bothering to turn around she kept walking.

"Kagome." She stopped in her tracks. The voice was low and light. A whisper on the wind. It held a type of wistful note to it that reflected her own sorrow. No, she decided, that wasn't her imagination. Even in her dreams she couldn't get the tone right.

Slowly she turned, just knowing it was a trick her mind was playing on her. She kept her eyes to the ground as she turned and first took in the black leather shoes. The dark faded jeans that were pressed beyond what casual wear should have been, the simple black t-shirt that hugged broad shoulders that narrowed to a trim waist. She finally landed on his face. The hair was all wrong, it was short, cut modernly. But the color was right. There were no markings on his face, his tail gone, then she noticed the beaded necklace he had on that resembled the one she kept on Sanyu and herself. He hadn't took a step farther than the inside of the gate, unsure.

"I told you I would find you." Until then she hadn't been sure. Until that moment when the words fell from his perfect lips and his gold eyes rose to meet hers, she couldn't let herself hope. But as he looked up at her everything in her arms clattered to the ground. The camera rolling through the dirt as pages were swept from her sketchbook.

She took a single step toward him at first until she was at a full run sprinting across the yard. She lunged into his arms, their strength that she had missed so much instantly surrounding her. Her eyes watered as he leaned down, burying his nose against her neck to breath her in. His lips brushed the mating mark on her neck, the only mark her beads wouldn't hide, and she shivered at the touch she had missed so much.

"Just like night." He whispered, his lips burning her as he spoke against her neck. "Calm, peaceful, subdued, everything your not." With tears pouring down her face, she laughed. She had tormented herself for years with the memory of him. She pleaded every day to feel him again, hear him, knowing it wasn't possible. How long must he have waited? How long had he searched?

"Too long." He whispered. "Its been too long." She couldn't speak, she could only nod in agreement. Finally, she shifted through everything in her mind to find the words, something that would show exactly how she felt, but instead when she opened her mouth she said the first thing that came to her mind.

"Don't ever ignore my existence again." A smile pulled at his lips as he looked down at her.

"Not ever again." He promised, cupping her face in his hands.

"Mommy?" Just then Sanyu peaked around the corner through the door, already in the long t-shirt she called sleeping clothes. Kagome waved her over and her little legs moved hesitantly. Her gold eyes darting from him to her.

"Your crying." Kagome smiled and brushed her tears away. She glanced back up at him to see he was staring at Sanyu intently.

"Sanyu." She said taking her small hand in hers. "This is Sesshoumaru, your…"

"My daddy." She finished for her. Kagome smiled as Sanyu raised her nose to the air. Sesshoumaru looked at her, the question obvious in his eyes. Kagome just smiled with a light nod. He instantly went down on his knee eyeing the girl in front of him. Gold met gold and she realized just how much they were alike. Everything about Sanyu was his. She was perfect, no dog ears, no tail, but everything else was all his. From her gold eyes to the very way she acted.

He raised a hand to her cheek and she snatched it out of thin air.

"You smell like him…" She said pausing to lift his hand to her face. "Kinda." She added scrunching her nose up like the way she did when she was figuring something out. She watched as Sanyu brought his wrist up to her nose. Her eyes lightened as soon as she caught his scent. She moved forward and Kagome's heart soared as she instantly fell forward into his arms. He held her tight against his chest breathing in her hair. His eyes rose up to catch hers and she could see the pride there. He had waited so long for her only to find that he had a daughter waiting for him as well.

Fate had pushed them together, torn them apart and left them broken. She hadn't known, but she had hoped that one day he would find her. Just as she had wished.

_I wish…_

She had wished a lot of things in that instant. Everything flowing through her mind only for her to turn it down. She had wished for him to live through her loss. She had wished for him to be able to continue forward without her. Neither of those seemed right. Hadn't been phrased right. So she had let her mind wander for those few moments, searching. Until she found what she was looking for.

_I wish for him to find 'Happiness' again._

And as she watched him lift his daughter up in his arms, he looked at her with those eyes she had missed more than anything else in the world. He opened his arm to her and she instantly moved to his side, his arm surrounding her with its warmth. Wrapping her arms around them both she looked up at them and he smiled down at her. As she watched Sanyu bury her nose against his throat much like he had always done to her, she would say he had found happiness again.

He had found Sanyu.


End file.
